A while back, the networks decided we needed more reality shows each year, so they started to double up on our “favorites”. Now we have two seasons, a Fall and a Mid-season show. We no sooner get done celebrating the winner of Survivor: Philippines and it’s time for Survivor: Caramoan (Feb.13). Can you remember who won Survivor: One World. which started at the beginning of 2012? I couldn’t, not even after I saw who it was.
“I don’t remember winning either!”
Kim Spradlin is her name and she beat Chelsea Meissner, who I don’t remember either, receiving all but 2 votes. She also won the $100,000 “Fan Favorite” money. Why can’t I remember any of this? What I do remember is this…..
Colton: “I won’t be scared if the helicopter pilot’s black. I have one at home.”
Colton Crumbie and his terrible trash-talking mouth and how it came back to bite him on the ass, in the form of appendicitis or intestinal diarrhea or whatever it was. Karma’s a bitch! Also, now that I think about it, didn’t the guys win an immunity challenge, but decided they wanted to go to tribal council so they could get rid of Bill, the welfare-fuck (according to Colton)… or was it Leif the Dwarf? Either way, it might be why Kim won. Who knows, the girls might have voted her out that night…. right?
Then, of course, there’s tiny, little Denise Staley, who won Survivor: Philippines. She went to every tribal council, merged with three tribes and won all the money, but she didn’t do anything memorable. This was memorable….
“I’m so happy, I could squeeze off a fart right now!”
This mud fight, which Lisa Whelchel thoroughly enjoyed, was going nowhere. The attempt to roll this huge wicker ball over the other tribes goal line was at a stand still. For the first time in Survivor history, the two tribes cut a deal, one tribe trading the reward prize of sandwiches and brownies, for the others remaining supply of rice.
Another double season favorite is The Amazing Race. Can you remember who won season 20, back in May? Okay, I’ll tell you. It was Dave and Rachel Brown Jr. Now do you remember? Okay, do you remember this…..
*sobbing* “Ain’t nobody comin’ between me and my man…”
Brendon: “Rachel, you listen to me. You are NOT stupid!” Rachel: *wah* “Floaters, grab a life vest….”
Yah, I thought you would. That’s because Brendon and Rachel from Big Brother were BIG on the show and even managed to come in third. Oh, the winners, here they are….
“Hey, you won a million bucks! Who cares if no one remembers you!”