All John Travolta Wanted Was A Happy Ending…

Watercooler

By Nads | Tuesday, May 8, 2012 | 6:30 pm | 25 Comments
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Posted in: Watercooler

TMZ is reporting that a masseur is suing John Travolta for sexually assaulting him. According to the lawsuit, John responded to an ad online for a massage and the rest is history. TMZ wrote, “Travolta and the masseur, who says he saw Trojan condoms in the center console, drove to the Beverly Hills Hotel and went to Travolta’s bungalow. The suit claims Travolta stripped naked, appearing semi-erect. The masseur says he told Travolta to lay down on the table and the first hour went without incident. Then, according to legal docs, Travolta began rubbing the masseur’s leg, touched his scrotum and the shaft of his penis.  The masseur claims he told Travolta he did not have sex with his clients, but Travolta was undeterred, offering to do a “reverse massage,” adding, “Come on dude, I’ll jerk you off!!!” The suit goes on to allege Travolta then masturbated and told the masseur he got to where he was “due to sexual favors he had performed when he was in his ‘Welcome Back Kotter’ days,” adding “Hollywood is controlled by homosexual Jewish men who expect favors in return for sexual activity. The masseur — who is only listed as John Doe — claims Travolta called him a loser, but then doubled the hourly rate and sent him on his way. The suit seeks $2 million plus punitive damages.”

I want to know how John touched the masseur’s scrotum and shaft of his penis? Didn’t he have clothes on? I’m so confused!! If the masseur was massaging John naked, you can’t blame John for thinking he was in for a rub and tug. I mean, $200 for a happy ending is chump change for Danny Zuko.

My favorite part of this story is that John called the masseur a loser and sent him on his way. Ha! John is such a bully!!!!

Now we all officially know that Scientology doesn’t erase your gay away. Sorry John, Tom and company…take your happy endings elsewhere! Just because a masseur lets you touch the shaft of his penis, it doesn’t mean he’ll let you stroke it. That costs extra…a lot extra. 

Poor John, this is his second lawsuit with a masseur in less than a week! He’s of course firing back, but only the testies know the real truth!

About

Although comedy is her profession, Nadine has accomplished a lot in her young age. She is a national champion black belt, a world-class soccer player, and an avid snowboarder. She started playing soccer at the age of 4, and continued playing through college where she majored in Biology, but quickly realized her destiny was to tell jokes, not to wear a lab coat. So she decided to be funny while finishing her Bachelors Degree in biology and continued on to get her M.B.A. Nadine’s comedy style is much like her athleticism, fearless. She’s made her way up the comedy ladder very quickly, and has become a club favorite at many of the country’s top comedy clubs, including the Improv chain. Performing in the Boston Comedy Festival and being noted as the “one of the youngest and brightest up and comers” and traveling to the Middle East to entertain the troops are just a few of her notable accomplishments. These days Nadine splits time between the stage, a radio studio, her computer blogging, and a television studio. Nadine’s TV, Radio, Writing credits include: national commercials, talking head roles on E! Entertainment, Showtime’s Hot Tamales Live, The Skinny: Fat Free News, The Sunny Side of The Truth: Real World Hollywood, TVgasm, Zazreport, Daddy’s Girls, Jerseylicious, celebrity interviews on Mania TV, a weekly half-hour television show that syndicates to colleges across the country for National Lampoon and a nightly radio show on XM Satellite Radio.

25 Comments

  1. 1
    nikki
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 7:49 pm

    “a rub and tug.” Nads, you crack me up!

  2. 2
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 8:03 pm

    His rep responded, calling the accusations baseless. “John was not semi-erect. That’s just how it looks in profile.”

  3. 3
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 8:25 pm

    I can understand playing with your penis, but who discusses the machinations of Hollywood while getting a naked massage?

    Oddly, that’s the part of the story that doesn’t ring true. “Let me play with your cock while I tell you how Jews run the world.”

  4. 4
    maryedith
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 8:33 pm

    Nail on the…uh…head, Sarcas. Masseur figured if Mad Max could be laid low by that kind of talk then Danny Zuko could too.

  5. 5
    awfuleyebrow
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 8:34 pm

    Is Mel Gibson working as a masseur now? Maybe he has found a sneaky new platform for his anti-semitic conspiracy theories.

  6. 6
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 8:35 pm

    Would YOU give a guy a foot massage?

  7. 7
    maryedith
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 8:38 pm

    Oh. I see. It’s hard to tell whether it was Travolta or the masseur who “added” the anti-Semitic comment. That would be hilarious if it was the masseur. His lawyers would be crying.

  8. 8
    maryedith
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    @Crankyguy — there’s way more unpleasant things a girl could do.

  9. 9
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 8:42 pm

    maryedith, I was quoting Vincent Vega.

  10. 10
    hot cawfee
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 6:13 am

    @Cranky–then can we call it “a royale with cheese” ????
    oml– I just embarrassed myself!!!!!

  11. 11
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 6:59 am

    That’s funny, hot cawfee. But on the other hand, now that you have imprinted that association on my mind, I can’t ever again enjoy a Quarter Pounder.

  12. 12
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 7:02 am

    I don’t know. You get in a celebrity’s car, offer to give him a massage, apparently do it in the nude, and then freak when the guy gets handsy and a little weird? Then he pays you double, and you sue him for $2 million?

    Did somebody who doesn’t like Travolta much set this up?

  13. 13
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 7:09 am

    Okorie Okorocha is the name of the lawyer for both plaintiffs. Doesn’t that sound like the latest dance craze?

    Or maybe a sushi restaurant.

  14. 14
    2muchbravo
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 10:14 am

    My friend knows this masseur.
    He’s been alledging this for awhile. Maybe people will believe him now.

  15. 15
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 11:14 am

    I’ll believe him as soon as he can prove it. If it’s true, why did he stay? And finally, why should this indiscretion cost $2 million? I’m not gay but I’ll rent out my sack for Travolta to fondle for $2 million any time. John . . . call me.

  16. 16
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    If a man requests that you strip down to rub him down he’s gonna feel you up.

  17. 17
    running wild
    Posted May 9, 2012 at 7:43 pm

    Travolta then masturbated and told the masseur he got to where he was “due to sexual favors he had performed when he was in his ‘Welcome Back Kotter’ days,”

    I’m calling BS. No way would any actor say they got where they are by any other means than being a good actor.

  18. 18
    See-Jay
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 12:30 am

    Doesn’t sound like the masseur was naked. The wording is confusing, but I think the article is saying that Travolta was touching his own junk and not the masseur’s.

  19. 19
    maryedith
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 8:11 pm

    This is just about the most confusingly-worded article I’ve ever read. I’m starting to thing maybe Travolta is suing the masseur for stripping down and making anti-Semitic comments.

  20. 20
    dreamhunter
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 12:47 am

    Question is, if John ‘the Client’ Travolta was thinkin of a rub and a stroke, why couldn’t he have been a good old regular lad and booked an appointment with a young, gorgeous looking female masseur? Like that wotshisname NBA star did that time. Kind of makes you wonder, don’t it?

    C’mon John. Ship up and buck up. Female meat is sweeter and juicier.

  21. 21
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 2:45 am

    Only if you’re a Scientologist.

    It appears L. Ron Hubbard and Xenu look down on homosexuality. So if you want to belong, sit on your sexual desires and squelch, I mean, quelch them.

  22. 22
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted May 14, 2012 at 9:02 am

    I guess JT’s explanation sheds some light on why Mel Gibson is so anti-Semitic…..

    The rumors of JT’s homosexuality are long and even documented on his Wikipedia page, so at this point, if he is gay or bisexual, would anyone be surprised? I just don’t understand why he has to be so sloppy about it. You’d think that he’d have a stable of young men willing to indulge in any kink he had. It’s sad that, if true, he has to molest someone that’s not interested in him or willing to use the incident as their meal ticket. Frankly, the lesson I take out JT’s embarrassment is to hire a sex worker that’s actually willing to have sex.

  23. 23
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted May 14, 2012 at 10:17 am

    Help me out lawyers. If the masseur “seeks $2 million plus punitive damages” does that imply $8 million altogether? For some reason, I have the notion that punitive damages are triple the amount named in the suit. And, if I am not mistaken, punitive damages are especially sweet because the recipient doesn’t have to pay taxes on them.

  24. 24
    Rick
    Posted May 14, 2012 at 7:57 pm

    Welp, at least he didn’t go to a Horshack.

    See what I did there?

  25. 25
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted May 15, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    The first masseur has dropped his complaint. The second one has not, but offered to go away for a mere $250,000. This whole thing is just a attempted shakedown, using the courts for fun and profit.

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