Big Brother’s Brendon Apologizes Like A Wuss

Watercooler

By Flipit | Monday, December 6, 2010 | 5:35 am | 7 Comments
Tagged: , , , , ,
Posted in: Featured, Watercooler

Happy Monday! There are no reality star penises to link to today, so sorry about that. There is, however, a reality star dick making more of an ass of himself than he did on TV, which is saying something.

Screen Shot 2010-12-06 At 5.30.49 Am
Brendon tries to cry, and it’s better than a Golden Girls rerun.

“Everyone knows what’s going on, I’m sure.”

And that’s how this seven minutes of your life suck starts off. Brendon from Big Brother made a splash this week by cheating on his stripscientist girlfriend, Boobs, on Skype. The crazy ho he was key banging put a pic of his peen on twitter, and that wasn’t mortifying enough, apparently, cuz Bren’s back to apologize on YouTube. His giant faced stupidity is super fun to watch. Shall we?

He tries mustering up some tears at first, but it’s really really hard. He got contacted by some skank on the net, she got naked, and it went too far. Then there was a second time, and this time he got blackmailed. And then there was a third time! Dang, Brendon! You’re lucky you can’t catch warts from Roadrunner, there, buddy. What the hell is he, in congress? Why is he faux crying and groveling to America like we’re all shocked that he’s a slut? We didn’t vote for you, fool. Play with your dinky on your webcam all you want. I honestly think he’s resorting to YouTube because he’s sick of waiting for 60 Minutes to call. Delusional!

At about three minutes in, he starts trying to squeeze out some more tears while talking about how special Boobs is to him. He promises to seek therapy. HAHAHAH. For internet cheating? Not being able to shed a genuine tear? Being a grown ass man who sleeps on a mattress on the floor?

This apology isn’t just for Boobs, it’s for everybody. Brendon knows that he’s a hero and a moral compass for the rest of us and he blew it. How can we ever trust a moronic Big Brother meathead again?!?! He’s just human you guys! WAAAAHHHH!!! “I prayed for the first time in years last night!” Well, maybe that’s the problem, young man. God probably listened to him trying to cry and laughed his ass off too. Stupid Brendon.

Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

7 Comments

  1. 1
    Angela Parisi LaRoe
    Posted December 6, 2010 at 5:52 am

    You hit the nail on the head Flipit.

  2. 2
    Nikki Hughes
    Posted December 6, 2010 at 6:39 am

    HEY, I’m a grown up and I don’t have a bed frame either. It stops me from storing even more shit under my bed.
    I don’t have a full size fridge in my bedroom though.

  3. 3
    Mister Dangerous
    Posted December 6, 2010 at 7:54 am

    He’s a little too needy for me.

    I liked the other Brendon post from yesterday better.

  4. 4
    singleinmymind
    Posted December 6, 2010 at 8:23 am

    Oh god… people need to get a life…what a pussy

  5. 5
    Mary Pearson
    Posted December 6, 2010 at 11:17 am

    Amazing how these two low-class skanks thought (and apparently STILL think) they were the next “Jeff and Jordan”. Sorry, dude…not even close!

  6. 6
    Mary Newman
    Posted December 6, 2010 at 1:32 pm

    I think he’s thinking that he’s right up there with Tiger Woods, but since the news media didnt contact him for his public apology, this was the next best thing…He’s a star in his own head and for that, he really DOES need therapy!

  7. 7
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted December 6, 2010 at 7:35 pm

    So, wait, he’s been with Rachel since the summer and had “three emotional affairs” in six months? He really is an asshole douchebag. Good thing he’s attractive and packing, so he can “emotionally” cheat on the next stupid twat.

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.