You’re the only one, baby.
Here’s a confusing one. TMZ reports a story about David Boreanaz from Bones and his legal fight with Gloria Allred, one of the soul sucking-est attorneys around.
Boreanaz had an affair with some chick. The chick tried to blackmail him for six figures, and instead of paying her he went the Letterman route, came out about the affair, and told her to suck his duck.
Gloria Allred, never one to be deterred by, you know, FACTS, decided that she’ll just extort the money anyway. David took away the power of shaming him publicly about the affair, so Allred came up with a new plan. Now, David supposedly promised this ho he banged that they were exclusive and he cheated on her. So she’s suing him for lying to her. BWAHAHAH. He promised you were more exclusive than his WIFE?
That Gloria Allred isn’t going to let her client end up like the Dave Letterman blackmailer. Gloria’s a slimy a hole, but she’s not a moron.
In related news, I am suing the Mentalist. I wrote Simon Baker fan mail that said “we’re boyfriends unless I get a letter back denying it.” I never got the letter. I did, however, pick out a China pattern. My heart is broken. His ass is gonna pay.
Dear loose codependent women of Hollywood, GET A JOB. Love, Flipit.