Bones and Boners

Watercooler

By Flipit | Tuesday, May 4, 2010 | 6:00 pm | 4 Comments
Tagged: , , , , ,
Posted in: Watercooler
You’re the only one, baby.

Here’s a confusing one. TMZ reports a story about David Boreanaz from Bones and his legal fight with Gloria Allred, one of the soul sucking-est attorneys around.

Boreanaz had an affair with some chick. The chick tried to blackmail him for six figures, and instead of paying her he went the Letterman route, came out about the affair, and told her to suck his duck.

Gloria Allred, never one to be deterred by, you know, FACTS, decided that she’ll just extort the money anyway. David took away the power of shaming him publicly about the affair, so Allred came up with a new plan. Now, David supposedly promised this ho he banged that they were exclusive and he cheated on her. So she’s suing him for lying to her. BWAHAHAH. He promised you were more exclusive than his WIFE?

That Gloria Allred isn’t going to let her client end up like the Dave Letterman blackmailer. Gloria’s a slimy a hole, but she’s not a moron.

In related news, I am suing the Mentalist. I wrote Simon Baker fan mail that said “we’re boyfriends unless I get a letter back denying it.” I never got the letter. I did, however, pick out a China pattern. My heart is broken. His ass is gonna pay.

Dear loose codependent women of Hollywood, GET A JOB. Love, Flipit.

Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

4 Comments

  1. 1
    PottyMouth PottyMouth
    Posted May 4, 2010 at 7:08 pm

    LOLOLOLOLOLOL! I never knew we could write one of those letter. I’m off to write one to Hugh Jackman. Then I’ll sue him for cheating on me with his wife.

  2. 2
    kesthemess
    Posted May 4, 2010 at 7:23 pm

    SIMON BAKER!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Seriously though, he has great hair.

  3. 3
    Melissa Wray
    Posted May 5, 2010 at 6:53 pm

    When are these chicks on the side going to learn that just because a guy says you’re more exclusive than his wife, that doesn’t mean he means it?

    In other news, whoever allowed Gloria Allred to become a lawyer is a fucking moron.

  4. 4
    Flipit
    Posted May 5, 2010 at 10:00 pm

    Amen sista! Allred is constantly in the news, and it’s usually fighting for really nasty things that should not be fought for. She’s grodie.

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