Breaking Math: How Much Is Walter White Worth?

Watercooler

By Saint Clare of Assisi | Saturday, October 8, 2011 | 9:59 am | 10 Comments
Tagged: , ,
Posted in: Breaking Bad, Featured, Watercooler

Hello!

I’m St. Clare, recapper of Breaking Bad. We’re about T-minus 24 hours until the finale of Breaking Bad season 4. It’s a shitty time for all of us. To try to alleviate everyone’s impending withdrawal, I’ve got a bonus article here for you all.

Beware: season 4 spoilers ahead. Although if you haven’t watched Season 4 or read my recaps, that’s really your fault.

At the end of the 11th episode this season, Walt was living his worst nightmare: Gus was going to kill Hank, and if Walt tried to intervene, Gus would kill the rest of Walt’s family. So Walt only really had one option left. His lawyer Saul told him about a guy who specializes in giving people new identities. Walt and the family could start over! But the guy isn’t cheap. His service would cost $500K. Walt got the guy’s number and raced home to gather his meth money from the crawl space…and discovered that he didn’t have enough.

breaking bad crawlspace breaking math

The lesson? Always remember to cancel your recurring porn charges on your credit card when you aren’t using them.

Which led us to wonder…how much DID Walt have in the crawlspace? So, I went back to the beginning of the entire series and tried to figure that out. Enjoy!

Beware again: this next session spoils the entire series, but if you haven’t seen ANY of Breaking Bad…why are you reading an article that covers the entire show? That’s kinda stupid, dude.

Walt’s worth as of Season 4 Episode 11: After about one calendar of secretly cooking meth, Walter supposedly has less than $500K. Let’s see if that’s true.

Walt’s Revenue: everything he’s ever made, ever

-The money Walt and Jesse earned from their time as independent cooks, suppliers for Tuco, Jesse selling through Skinny Pete & Badger, and their first big sale to Gus: about $500K -The money Walt’s made working for Gus: $7.5 million a year. We don’t know for sure how long he’s been working for Gus, but I’d say about three months. That gives him: $1.8 million Estimate revenue: $2.3 million

Estimate revenue: $2.3 million

Walt’s Expenses: everything he’s ever spent, ever

-Cost of Bogdan’s car wash: $800K

-The amount Skyler gave to Beneke to cover his IRS fine: about $620K

-Walt’s cancer expenses, including the experimental surgery: Let’s say another $250K.

-The medical and rehab bills for Hank’s spinal injury, including the daily physical therapy, refitting the house, Hank’s new hand-steered car, and any other procedures Hank might have: $125K

-Whatever Saul’s been charging Walt and Skyler all this time…conservatively I’d say $150K.

-Dodge Challenger, blown up and not returned to the dealership like Walt said: $30K

-Junior’s PT Cruiser: $20K -Walt’s talked about wanting to make enough money to pay for Junior and Holly’s college tuitions, so assuming he set money aside for that: $100K

-Regular living expenses for the past year, since Walt barely taught and Skyler doesn’t have a job: $20K

-Cash Walt lost when he threw all his money in his grill in a fit of rage, before immediately retrieving it: I dunno, $20K?

-Rent on Walt’s bachelor pad: I’d say $2K a month for 3 months, so $6K

-And don’t forget the binoculars Walt bought this week to spy on Gus: $200 bucks

Estimated expenses: $2.135 million

Subtotal, before taxes: $165,000

Wait, actually, that’s the total, because you don’t pay taxes on drug money: $16K. Which is a tiny, tiny amount.

Only $165,000! Is that even possible? What do you think? Agree? Disagree? Did I leave something out? Let me know! Otherwise I’ll see you Sunday. I’m going to be organizing a support group for troubled fans.

It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

 

Saint Clare of Assisi attended Boston University and has written for The Onion.  He took his name from the patron saint of television, who was a virgin and saved a boy from a wolf one time.

10 Comments

  1. 1
    LadyStardust
    Posted October 8, 2011 at 11:21 am

    Ha! Love the article, but 25k for a used, crappy PT Cruiser??? I have no idea how much those things go for new, but I assumed Junior’s was a used one. Maybe I’m wrong though. I mean, they could have gotten him a new sports car like he wanted for 25k!

  2. 2
    Bioscotto
    Posted October 8, 2011 at 11:25 am

    Yeah, I feel like you might be overestimating on a few things…but even with more conservative estimates, it would leave him with 200 or 300 K, which is STILL way less than the 500,000 he needed!

  3. 3
    Saint Clare of Assisi
    Posted October 8, 2011 at 11:54 am

    I thought it was super low too since the original amount I got when I did this was around what you’re guessing, Biscotto, but when I went back and checked the old episodes I found a bunch of expenses I forgot about. Here’s where I’m getting my numbers from:

    -I originally had Saul lower, but I forgot he charged Walt a $50K finder’s fee just for arranging to have a guy claim to be Heisenberg and take the rap for Walt. (The episode was “Better Call Saul”). I figured that plus all the crazy shit Saul’s done for Walt would get you $150K.

    -I looked up the average cost of lung cancer treatment per person, (which was kinda like looking for the average snowflake), and got $50K. On the show they mentioned Walt’s experimental surgery cost $200K alone, so I added the two together since the surgery isn’t a normal treatment cost.

    -I did the same for Hank. From what I found, spinal injuries are super expensive. But that was just my cursory research, so if anyone knows better, share!

    -I used the price of a new PT cruiser, which is about $21K, then added tax/insurance etc. and bumped it up to $25. Did they say the PT cruiser was used, though? If so it should be way lower.

  4. 4
    Saint Clare of Assisi
    Posted October 8, 2011 at 11:56 am

    Also, for the college tuition and the money lost in the fire, I pulled those amounts straight from my ass.

  5. 5
    maryedith
    Posted October 8, 2011 at 1:08 pm

    To be honest, because of the way they covered Hank’s medical bill and still talked as if they had unlimited funds I was astonished to learn they didn’t have more stashed away. Isn’t the car wash turning a profit too, btw? Or was that going to happen in the near future?

  6. 6
    nosy
    Posted October 8, 2011 at 3:01 pm

    I think it should read the subtotal is 160k not 16k. Am i right? thank you !

  7. 7
    deb
    Posted October 8, 2011 at 4:48 pm

    Shouldn’t the sub-total before taxes be 160k instead of 16k? I’m def not a math wiz but 16k just sounds too low. Thanks

  8. 8
    LadyStardust
    Posted October 9, 2011 at 12:11 am

    St. Clare: I just assumed the PT Cruiser was used because it looked like an older model…but I just looked up PT Cruisers and apparently they all look exactly the same for the past 10 years. So, I have no idea.

    A new Dodge Challenger (isn’t that what Walt first bought him?) cost about 25k new, so I figured if they thought that was too expensive, they wouldn’t buy him another new car that cost the same.

    I can’t believe I put this much thought into this…

  9. 9
    Bioscotto
    Posted October 9, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    Yeah…I mean, pretty much, the secret IRS payoff that Skyler did is what screwed them over…so excited to see how they resolve this season tonight!

  10. 10
    Saint Clare of Assisi
    Posted October 9, 2011 at 2:14 pm

    You are all correct. I miscalculated–um, I mean, that was a test, and you passed! It’ll be fixed soon, when Flipit finally gets back to his house.

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