Warner Bros. finally fired Charlie Sheen. He’s dunzo! They issued the statement, “After careful consideration, Warner Bros. television has terminated Charlie Sheen’s services on ‘Two and a Half Men,’ effective immediately.” There’s no word on the fate of Two and a Half Men, so that news is to come…
I’m so happy they finally got rid of him. I mean, they had no other choice. If they brought him back, what kind of message would that be sending to America?
Charlie must be losing his sh*t right now. I wonder if he’ll start his round of media again claiming breach of contract?
On the positive side, if anyone is interested in being an intern for Charlie, apply here. He wants someone with “Tiger Blood.” The saddest part is that he hasn’t even hit rock bottom yet. I’m scared for him.
Charlie’s response to being fired:
“This is very good news. They continue to be in breach, like so many whales. It is a big day of gladness at the Sober Valley Lodge because now I can take all of the bazillions, never have to look at whatshiscock again and I never have to put on those silly shirts for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension.”
And here’s why Warner Bros. has grounds to fire him:
“There is ample evidence supporting Warner Bros. reasonable good faith opinion that Mr. Sheen has committed felony offenses involving moral turpitude (including but not limited to furnishing of cocaine to others as part of the self-destructive lifestyle he has described publicly) that have ‘interfere[d] with his ability to fully and completely render all material services required’ under the agreement.”