Oh, Courtney Stodden. Only 18 and already looking like a really stupid piece of burnt toast.
Is it a lack of water? Is it being married to an old person? Is it just taxing being so goddamned SEXY!?!?! I’m voting for A.
I was worried at the end of Couples Therapy that you were just gonna go away and be quiet and I wasn’t gonna feel that sad, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I saw your face because of your glaring daddy issues and apparent lack of self awareness. Watching you is like watching a car slowly careening off a curvy path, flying off a cliff, getting hit by an exploding volcano, shot up to the sun, melted into ashes, and falling thousands of feet only to get eaten and then pooped out again by fish.
No need to worry!! Not having any actual TV shows begging to showcase your sad downward spiral at the moment doesn’t mean you can take out a small business loan to do it yourself! Yes! Courtney’s making a music video!! Well, another one. She’s an artist, m’kay? The internet’s all aflutter over her finding some odd kid to play her manslave, but I don’t really care about that. I just care that Courntey’s coming back to where she belongs: the internet.
If you aren’t excited, you probably haven’t seen her first masterpiece. It’s below. You’re welcome.