Courtney Stodden Casts A Stud in a Trainwreck

Watercooler

By Flipit | Friday, December 14, 2012 | 12:00 pm | 18 Comments
Tagged: ,
Posted in: Watercooler

Oh, Courtney Stodden. Only 18 and already looking like a really stupid piece of burnt toast. 

Is it a lack of water? Is it being married to an old person? Is it just taxing being so goddamned SEXY!?!?! I’m voting for A. 

I was worried at the end of Couples Therapy that you were just gonna go away and be quiet and I wasn’t gonna feel that sad, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I saw your face because of your glaring daddy issues and apparent lack of self awareness. Watching you is like watching a car slowly careening off a curvy path, flying off a cliff, getting hit by an exploding volcano, shot up to the sun, melted into ashes, and falling thousands of feet only to get eaten and then pooped out again by fish. 

No need to worry!! Not having any actual TV shows begging to showcase your sad downward spiral at the moment doesn’t mean you can take out a small business loan to do it yourself! Yes! Courtney’s making a music video!! Well, another one. She’s an artist, m’kay? The internet’s all aflutter over her finding some odd kid to play her manslave, but I don’t really care about that. I just care that Courntey’s coming back to where she belongs: the internet. 

If you aren’t excited, you probably haven’t seen her first masterpiece. It’s below. You’re welcome. 

Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

18 Comments

  1. 1
    Wasabipeas wasabipeas
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    “It’s Friday, it’s Friday”

  2. 2
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 12:23 pm

    …a really stupid piece of burnt toast…

    Nailed it!

  3. 3
    labowner
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    Don’t they know they have to blur out the advertisement? I am sure Nike is stoked their logo is in this video.

  4. 4
    Lizbot
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    Wow…when she can’t even master lipsynching…even Britney could master lipsynching!

  5. 5
    Insanehousewife
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 3:26 pm

    2 thoughts besides the horrible lip syncing..
    First – Someone needs to standup for that poor dog and have her or whoever made the video arrested for animal abuse… WTF – Pink fur just to match her ugly ass bathingsuit like thing?
    Secondly – Didn’t she say she doesn’t cover up on Couples Therapy… I’m sure Nike is happy that the time she does decide to cover up, their logo is smack dab front and center for the world to see.

    Can she just go away??? PLEASE!

  6. 6
    crazy rooster
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 7:45 pm

    Oh good God. Really?

  7. 7
    thespiral
    Posted December 15, 2012 at 1:55 am

    Thanks to Courtney Stodden, whenever my husband and I have a disagreement, he’s taken to saying “DON’T PUT IT ON ME GUUUUURRL”, flipping his imaginary hair, and exiting the room. Thanks Courtney Stodden!

  8. 8
    itchy itchy
    Posted December 15, 2012 at 5:19 am

    I’ll take this over Gangnam Style any day. D-d-d-d-d-don’t.

  9. 9
    hbgchick
    Posted December 15, 2012 at 7:02 am

    Lol thespiral! Your comment made this whole nasty article worth reading (nasty because of the subject, not the author, Flipit! I loves me some Flipit!) Anyway – just the thought of a guy doing that is awesome. And I’m sure it works – after that, how could you stay mad at him?

  10. 10
    JudgyWudgy JudgyWudgy
    Posted December 15, 2012 at 9:01 am

    I was not impressed by this video until she was all of a sudden in a jacket……how did they do that!? Not just the seamless technology from one scene to another, but getting Courtney in that much clothing. Mind blown.

  11. 11
    thespiral
    Posted December 15, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    @hbgchick – I’m glad to make this trainwreck bearable for you! And yes, I can’t possibly stay mad at him, which is why it’s SO annoying!

  12. 12
    Lizbot
    Posted December 15, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    @thespiral: your hubby is awesome! I was about to say that I bet you can’t stay mad at him once he pulls that gem of a catch phrase out of his hat, but I see you already admitted it!

  13. 13
    Lisa
    Posted December 17, 2012 at 12:30 pm

    @ thespiral : I vote your comment should be on the best of 2012 list

  14. 14
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 7:42 am

    I’d second that, especially if we could get a clip of your hubby. I bet it would beat the pants off of that auto-tuned Courtney Stodden!

  15. 15
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 6:13 pm

    I can’t…

  16. 16
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 6:43 pm

    ^But you must. ;_;

  17. 17
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 7:00 pm

    I love Courtney Stodden. No matter what I do, no matter how stupid, inept, mindless, whatever… No matter how depressed I am, how angry I am, how hung over I am…

    I can always take comfort in the fact that I am NOT Courtney Stodden.

  18. 18
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 7:12 pm

    NO! I can’t! I can’t!

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