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(Hi there Gasmi, there’s no denying it, the season is upon us. I mean I don’t know what you feel as you sit with your G-D shirt sticking to your back as you swelter in your living room, because it turns out that buying an air conditioner at the flea market is an incredibly bad idea, but to me it feels like love. Well that, and I was stumped for an idea for this week’s post. Anyway, sit back as Dear TvGasm gives advice to all of our romantically involved celebrities out there.)
Am I the only one who thinks that Justin Theroux has male chola brows?
Dear TvGasm, Oh my God, he proposed, can you believe it? I’m so happy! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Signed, You Loved Me On Friends, So Why Not In Management?
Dear Jennifer Aniston, AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! Oh my God! This is so great! Wonderful!! It’s always so romantic when somebody gets engaged for the second time.
My what a crazy ride it’s been. Just for fun, lets take a look at how we got to this magical place.
Okay, in May of 1998 you married Brad Pitt. Now for some of our younger readers out there this might not seem like big of a deal, because 2012 Brad Pitt sometimes wanders around in public looking like this
However, in 1998, Brad Pitt looked like this
Yeah, there’s a big difference, huh? Boy. Howdy. Anyway, for the world of 1998 marrying Brad Pitt was like winning the Super Bowl of Marriage. I mean if you were packing a uterus, and into the whole being with somebody with a penis scene, he was as good as you were going to get. At least in a your-marriage-pool-is-only-guys-who-are-in-People-magazine sort of way.
So you got the world’s dreamiest husband. Which was really something considering that before Brad Pitt you were dating guys like Adam Duritz, the front man for Counting Crows, who looked like this
And you ended up with a guy who looked like this
I can’t stress this enough, you went from this
Well played girlfriend. Well played indeed.
So, everything putters along just fine, because why wouldn’t everything be just fine for two very attractive wealthy people? Everything is great right up to 2005 when Brad leaves you.
What? Where? Who? Yeah, I know, that was totally out of the blue. Well, sort of. Now here is the thing, there was a rumor that Brad was ready to start a family right around then, but you wanted to wait until you became a big movie star, and maybe Brad took a look at the movies you had done since getting married, like Rock Star, The Good Girl, and Along Came Polly, and maybe, just maybe, Brad started to get the feeling that he might not be changing the pampers on his first born until you two were living in The Floating City of New Chicago.