Dear TvGasm, I love being on the show, howEVER, I love Slade, sort of. I love being an independent business woman, howEVER, I love makeup. Like I really, really love makeup. I love my new music career that Slade got for me, howEVER, I really can’t sing. I love that Tamra and I are finally friends, howEVER, I still don’t know why we’re friends. HowEVER…
Gretchen wore this in public because she was in a Pussycat Dolls show, and also because it was Tuesday
Dear Gretchen, stop it, please. God, woman, you’re like an Abbott and Costello skit with cheap hair extensions.
Okay, according to the rumors on the internets you might have to make a decision here pretty soon, because the rumors are that the producers can’t stand Slade and want you to dump him. Now, one the one hand there is your gig, and on the other hand there is Slade. This should be a no brainer, because Slade isn’t a big fan of the concept of jobs, and over the last couple of seasons he’s turned into his own portrait of Dorian Gray. HowEVER, sorry, however, I think you have real feelings for the guy. I’m just basing this on the fact you’ve been picking up the tab for his child support, and roomies don’t usually do that sort of thing for each other.
So what would happen if you dumped Slade? Well judging by the guys the other ladies have brought home on the show you could hook up with a guy who my gay friends assure me has every Cher CD ever recorded, or a gap toothed grifter.
Man that’s grim, but it’s pretty par for the course for a Housewives show. Let’s face it, when a Real Housewife hits the dating scene the usual suspects who come out of the wood work are gay men who want to be on TV, men who Judge Judy normally describes as “hustlers”, and guys who just try to lure you to get in the back of their vans.
Wow, you’ve got yourself a tough choice there little lady. Maybe you can ask the producers about you getting a cat?
Dear TvGasm, Jesus loves me. And I’m the vice-president of a trampoline park. Whoops, the President wants a beer. Coming daddy, giggle.
Signed, I have a British Accent Because I’m From Missouri
Dear Alexis, oh Scarecrow, I’m going to miss you most of all. Yeah Sunshine, it’s not looking very good for you right now, job-wise that is. Don’t get me wrong, Jesus still loves you because
he has to it’s in the bible? However, according to the scuttlebutt, if anyone is going to be let go, it might be the only serious journalist on the show.
Oy Guvenor, can you tell me ‘ow many imaginary babies are in that burning building?