Dear TvGasm: The State of the Beiber

Worst Case Scenario: You end up engaged to Liam Helmsworth

Best Case Scenario: You end up engaged to Liam Helmsworth, but I mean have you seen Liam Helmsworth? Seriously dude, you could do a lot worse. I mean sure you’d have to move to Utah so you Miley and Thor could get your Big Love on, but the dude makes features bro. Just think about it

The TV Show Entourage

Well Entourage was a show were a guy with questionable talent and his sponging buddies lived like kings in LA while getting into hijinks and smoking a lot of weed. Kind of like what you are doing right now, only HBO hasn’t bribed anyone to give you a Golden Globe. Yet.

Best Case Scenario: Kevin Dillon starts getting a steady paycheck again, and his local 24 Hour Fitness no longer has to take payments of certificates for 1 free back rubs, and having Turtle wash their cars.

Worst Case Scenario: Somebody decides to make a TV show about the J Beaver. What? ABC is already planning on doing that? Oh that’s just great! I mean sure, let’s cancel Don’t Trust the B in Apt 23, and throw some more money at Markey Mark and Justin Friggin Beiber. This is why we can’t have nice things!

Well, it could be worse, I mean Hollywood could be making an Entourage movie…why are you making that face? Oh [CENSORED] me! I Mean just [CENSORED] me until I can’t walk. Well, I suppose the good news is when the movie comes out Jeremy Piven can give DVD’s of it instead of tips, which is to say THERE IS NO [EXTREMELY CENSORED] GOOD NEWS.

Okay, so J Biebers, as far as your situation. Um, get a driver, stay away from camera phones, and find out what Liam Helmsworth’s favorite food is.

Hugs!