Dear TvGasm: This is why we love Britney

13 Comments

1. 1
   plockness monster
   Posted December 27, 2012 at 11:01 am

   Of course, Christopher Federline is lying. Our beloved Brit Brit might have been crazy for a few years, but she never stole anything a la Lindsey Lohan. I love how C-Fed added in the part about his small penis. I wonder who was really going to tell “the world” that???

2. 2
   Classy Drunk
   Posted December 27, 2012 at 11:10 am

   Yes Chris, Brit would come out and ruin her already tarnished image and let everyone know that she had relations with her husband brother and he is the father of the baby?

   Right because that would hurt YOU more than it would hurt Britney. You know the actual famous person in all of this hoopla.

   But where did she go to buy$4500 in comics?!?!!?

3. 3
   Katie
   Posted December 27, 2012 at 11:47 am

   It has been confirmed that it is a hoax. The same guy who got in trouble for hacking twitter accounts faked it

4. 4
   WaffleBoy
   Posted December 27, 2012 at 12:07 pm

   Thanks for the update Katie. The hoaxer’s name is Jonathan Lee Riches, and he sounds crazier than a bedbug ( a convicted felon, and was recently arrested for breaking his parole, and saying he was the Newtown shooter’s uncle). Apparently this guy has filed hundreds of fake celebrity lawsuits over the past few years. Including one where he claimed to be Selena Gomez’s father, and was accusing Justin Beiber of stealing his credit card and using it to pay for a penis enlargement.
   So, here’s what we know as of 11: 50 PST:
   Kevin Federline is the father of all of Britney’s children
   Somewhere in the San Fernando Valley a comic book store is still sitting on a butt ton’s worth of Archie comic books
   Britney Spears did not steal a Capital One Credit card recently. At least from anyone named Federline
   Christopher Federline’s penis is probably averaged size. At least as far as we know.
   Hopefully we’re all a little wiser now. Sorry for the false alarm, and also because I’m still giggling about that Justin Bieber story

5. 5
   Faye
   Posted December 27, 2012 at 12:24 pm

   I knew it was false by the 3rd paragraph – A Federline with a credit card in his own name and a 4 digit before the decimal point credit limit? When you ask a Federline “what’s in your wallet” I’m sure everytyhing except valid credit card would be on the list
   Expired condom
   A punch card from Auntie Anne’s with one stamp left before you can claim a free pretzel
   A business card to a free clinic
   A phone number from a girl who spells her name “Tammyie”
   A note to remember to pay his boost mobile bill
   8.00 (with a 1.00 bill that has a mustache grew on Washington)
   A receipt from the Ed Hardy outlet

6. 6
   Classy Drunk
   Posted December 27, 2012 at 12:25 pm

   Awesome Faye! Just awesome.

7. 7
   plockness monster
   Posted December 27, 2012 at 1:31 pm

   Faye, Auntie Anne’s is too high class for him. I would like to think it’s a Subway card, but it’s probably expired. You know that doesn’t stop C-Fed from trying to redeem it all over CA.

8. 8
   Angela
   Posted December 27, 2012 at 2:21 pm

   Top notch Faye! Hilarious. Hope they catch that one in the December Commentgasm.

9. 9
   JudgyWudgy
   Posted December 29, 2012 at 12:11 pm

   Does $4500 worth of Archie comics even exist?

10. 10
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted December 30, 2012 at 2:04 am

    I was giggling so hard, I sounded like a demented squirrel, and my cats got all excited thinking it was hunting season. Too funny. I just figured she must have bought a stretch Hummer to tote away $4,500 worth of fine reading material….

11. 11
    Gypsy
    Posted December 30, 2012 at 7:34 am

    I so wish this trashtastic disaster was true.

    Sadhorns.

12. 12
    CathodeTube
    Posted December 30, 2012 at 8:57 am

    I would love it if this Jonathan Lee Riches guy wrote the celeb news every day.

13. 13
    Robin
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 8:26 pm

    @CathodeTube,

    Be prepared to read about penis, then. Small penis, tiny penis, penis enlargement..every one of his “cases” have a penis as a distraction so the jury doesn’t focus on the nuts in the story.

    Robin