Dear TvGasm: True Blood

Dear TVgasm

By WaffleBoy | Monday, July 2, 2012 | 6:00 am | 4 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , ,

That being said, whatever happens, you should patch things up with Hoyt. Maybe you can bring him a gift? My vote is for a polo shirt.

 

 

Dear TvGasm,

I’m the Vampire Authority, and I’m doing God’s work.

Signed, Detective Stabler

Wow. things are a lot sexier when you don’t have to have a scene where you slowly explain to Ice Tea just what the hell is going on 

 

Dear, Whatever Your Name Is, well if you say so. Before the season started I read where the show’s producer Alan Ball said your character was based on Republican Senator Marco Rubio. Either this means that Marco Rubio has a secret vampire bible, and an even secreter gym membership, or that Alan Ball is full on batshit crazy. You know what? I’m going with the later on this one. Anyway, best of luck with your overly complicated master plan. 

 To get the funniest quotes from TVgasm recaps as they’re posted, follow us on Twitter. You can post your favorite lines right back at us. If you want to play games and socialize, like our Facebook page! We’re also now on Pinterest and Tumblr! Thanks for being a part of the gasm!

Pages: 1 2
About

Waffle's family would like to go on record and say he was raised by raccoons. You eat out of the garbage one time, and everyone suddenly gets judgmental. He's just going to point out, for the last time, with God as his witness, there was ice cream in that carton. However, the fact of the matter is he was born and has lived about 90% of my life in the Bay Area in Northern California. He's a long time cube monkey (office worker), who spends too much time trying to maximize the money he spends on his cable bill, and has a not so healthy love of all things that are dumb and fun, translation: needless explosions, cable neeckedness, and any time Steven Segal attempts to express human emotion only by squinting.

4 Comments

  1. 1
    carol
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 10:40 am

    This post is amazing! This is like something that would be in MAD magazine, I mean that in a good way. Even the tags for this post are funny: Jason Stackhouse less thinkng more humping. Thank you for a great laugh on a Monday morning, the best way to start off a week.

  2. 2
    Melissa Wray
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    I DIED at Chris Meloni’s “letter.” Also, WaffleBoy, does this mean you’re gonna recap TB again? Cuz I srsly needs my Gasmii fix, just like Mary Sue–I mean Sookeh–needs to have her head gassed up every 5.8 seconds.

  3. 3
    WaffleBoy
    Posted July 3, 2012 at 8:25 am

    Hi everybody!
    @ Carol, being compared to Mad magazine? That is a compliment I can appreciate. Those guys had a lot to do with shaping my humor. And also why I think any joke is 10 times funnier if it involves folding.

    @Melissa Wray, thanks for the compliments, but no sadly my real life commitments totally get in the way of me being ale to recap this show. Well them, and the fact that I am incredibly lazy. Still thanks for stopping by and commenting

  4. 4
    zbird
    Posted July 5, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    Hilarious! I wonder if there’s any way we can work folding into this bit?

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.