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Fashiongasm: The Hats and Harry!
Watercooler
Sunday, May 1, 2011
9:14 pm
24 Comments
I avoided anything and everything to do with the Royal Wedding of William and Kate. The media tried everything they could to get me involved for a full week. I was not having any of it. But I knew in the end, when the time came for the ceremony to begin, I would watch and I did. I watched for THE HATS and HARRY!
Queen Elizabeth II was the sunshine of my life in her yellow cake decorated hat. I heard rumors that Cake Boss Buddy Valastro was flown in just for the occasion.
Does Camilla even have a title besides Her Royal Homewrecker? I was so disappointed when the commoners didn’t pelt her with rotting vegetables. What’s wrong with the English people these days?
The new princess’s mum, Carole Middleton. She’s a pretty little wench and her hat is adorable. The Queen was worried that because she was a former stewardess, she might try to pass out beverages and peanuts when she walked down the aisle in the Abbey.
Princess Anne, Charles’ sister, has been down the wedding trail a few times so, she sees the humor in all this majesty. She looks like she’s already been celebrating in the car. Her hat is Easter Egg perfect.
The Queen should have invited Fergie so she could have dressed her daughters. Princess Eugenie’s hat and hair remind me of a magpie. (you remember Heckle and Jeckle don’t you?)
What is there to say about this hat that hasn’t already been said? Princess Beatrice hit it out of the park with this one. It’s been compared to the internal organs of the female productive system to the IUD that protect it. Either way, she made headlines. Who was that designer? He did most of the crazy hats that got noticed. Bobby Trendy? No? Something like that…
Awwwwww!!! What a relief for my eyes! PRINCE HARRY and a PUPPY!!! Isn’t that the most charmingly cheeky smile? You just know the Queen likes him best.
Now on to some commoner hats. This is my favorite. Butterflies are Free!
This one almost looks like a contest entry winner. 1st Place for Originality
By far, one of the prettiest hats and girl of the day. Red, White & Blue Perfect!
What do you think…. guy or girl? Drama Queen in Pink?
Ho Ho Ho It’s Harry! He’s all we need to keep us entertained in the UK now.
More HATS. I love this one. This is Sophie Winkleman. She’s a “Royal” because she’s married to Lord Fredrick Windsor. Before that she was just an actress on the TV show Peep Show. Now she is officially a “Lady”.
Zara Anne Phillips, daughter of Princess Anne, has a hat that looks good if you see it from the side, but when you look at it dead-on from the front, like this, UGH!!! I’m not understanding the trend of cramming things on one side and balancing a disc on the other side of your head.
Belgian Princess Mathilde is another one wearing one of the popular designer hats everyone else is wearing. This is one of my favorites too. I like a hat that LOOKS like a hat. By the way, It’s not Bobby Trendy, I knew that. LOL! It’s Phillip Treacy. I need to give credit where it’s due.
There’s something about flowers in your hair that makes you feel beautiful. When your hat is almost all flowers, it has the same effect. Miriam Gonzalez doesn’t need flowers and she knows it. She’s much prettier than her hat.
Oh good Lord!! It’s Prince Harry again. He’s playing touch football without his Royal Shirt on! I just might swoon…..
Hasn’t royalty heard of things like “white strips”? I don’t mean any disrespect but Queen Margrethe II of Denmark and a few of the others could use a few good cleanings. As for her hat, it’s Edith Bunker adorable!
Queen Sofia of Spain knew better and kept her mouth shut when she smiled. She has a cute little hat, not a cordobes or flamenco veil. At 73, she definitely uses L’oreal and looks fantastic.
Here’s another Sophie. This is Sophie, Countess of Wessex. She’s the wife of the Queen’s youngest son, the forgotten Prince Edward. Sophie couldn’t decide between feathers or flowers so she bunched together both with a hairband and a bun. Classic.
Prince Albert of Monaco is the next “most eligible bachelor” to marry. This is his soon-to-be bride Charlene Wittstock browsing around getting lavish wedding ideas for her July 9th Royal bash. Her hat’s a dud, a real snoozer.
Can ya cram any more flowers under that brim? There’s not even a hat on this side of her head! This is Marie Chantal, Crown Princess of Greece, Princess of Denmark. You would think with two such prestigious titles, she could get someone to buy her a hat that would fit her whole head.
Our Prince Harry is looking out for us all. He’s dedicated to serving his country.
It clearly stated that “No Cell Phones Beyond This Point” at Westminster Abby but Joss Stone didn’t give shit. She’s a SuperStar! The Royals are just lucky she wore real clothes to this affair. Actually she looked quite nice and her hat was awesome!
This is a total WTF! I can’t believe some sites actually said this was the best hat and look of the day. Seriously? She looks like a Superhero with a boat (or vagina) stuck on her forehead. I know her name is Tara Palmer-Tomkinson and she’s a big TV whore but why was she at this wedding?
Princess Leitzia of Austurias is all dressed in pink. Her hat reminds me of the classic hats 1930′s. Very nice indeed. Her husband, by the way, is heir apparent, to the throne of Spain.
Doesn’t she look like she smells something bad? Maybe one of the guards passed gas. While I was watching all of these goings-on, I was thinking back to King Henry VIII and The Tudors. How many people would have been sent to the Towers? This, by the way, is Frances Osborne. She is considered an “Aristocrat”. Her hat is a perfect mix of feathers and flowers. These I like, but it’s just too bad it’s only half a hat.
Hi Harry!!!
This hat is fabulous and so is this Royal. If anyone looks like a good time at parties, it’s Princess Victoria of Sweden. And she has nice white teeth.
This is truly another great hat. It’s perfect in every way. It matches Princess Michael of Kent’s outfit, her earrings, her pearls and her title. If it rains, she won’t get wet either.
How can you not love this crazy-ass hat that Claudia Bradby is wearing? The one thing it has going for it that those others don’t, it fits her whole head. That alone makes me love it. Claudia, being a jewelry designer, met the Princess Bride when she was a mere accessories buyer. Later Claudia’s journalist husband Tom did the first interview after the Royal Nuptials announcement. That’s why she was at the wedding. Fact!
Hmmmm… it seems someone put something on Katharine, Duchess of Kent’s thumb to keep it out of her mouth. She’s all puckered up. Her matronly granny hat is quite cute though and I’m told is a Treacy.
My oh my oh my! Prince Harry, what ARE you doing? You can squirt on me anytime!
“Shut the hell up Victoria and quit being a bitch. Can’t we just have a bit of fun? Let’s start by you wearing a real hat… MINE!”
“It’s okay honey *giggle* that pigeon wasn’t anywhere near your hat.”
“Hey Guardsman! Hey! I need a bloody cab! Me wife’s about to have baby here! Hey!”
“Okay now Chelsy, you’re at Westmeinster Abbey. Prince Harry’s brother is getting married today, remember?
No Prince Harry, you can’t marry Chelsy Davy. She’s not good enough for you! She’s a whore! Off with her head I say! To the Towers with her. She doesn’t deserve you. You are our Hero now.
This is my FAVORITE hat! Of all the hats I’ve seen, this is the one I’ve fallen in love with. It has everything, the wide brim and sash, the vibrant color, the whispy feathers and topsy-turvy top. It belongs to Lorna Brooking. She’s basically a nobody, but her husband was knighted and is now Sir Trevor Brooking because he was a big-time soccer (or football as they say in the UK) player.
Tomorrow I’m off to buy a hat to wear to my nephew’s wedding. I may be the only one there with one on but I’m wearing one just the same. Someone needs to have some class, it may as well be me.
TV Social
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24 Comments
This was the best wedding recap I have read yet. Total snark with great photos. The lady with the boat (um, vagina) on her head sort of looks like Diane Lane.
Does anyone else remember when Wills was considered the good looking one and Harry was the odd one? Also, I when watching them enter the Abbey, they look nothing alike, maybe distant cousins but not brothers…odd.
I love me some Harry, too. That doesn’t sound too dirty, does it?
That first picture of the “commoner hats” with the butterflies is actually a picture of Princess Beatrice from several years ago.
I saw a cartoon earlier showing a picture of Eugenie and Beatrice in their wedding finery pasted with a picture of Cinderella’s ugly step-sisters. Perfect fit.
I do believe the designer of those hats is the same guy who did the hat challenge on the last season of Project Runway. Someone needs to tell him that his hats are ugly and he needs to stop.
I’d do Harry over Wills any day.
Oh yeah! I knew that name was familiar.
This hat trend has been part of American culture for decades. Just visit a Baptist church on Easter Sunday and you’ll see what I mean.
http://fort-greene.thelocal.nytimes.com/2010/04/05/resurrection-and-beautiful-hats-easter-at-brown-memorial-bapists-church/
(Especially a church in Brooklyn. When we come, we come correct. Philip Tracy, I think you’ve located your newest demographic!)
Loved the hat critique and the picture of um, shirtless, Harry. I’ve never felt more like a dirty old woman. I guess I prefer the term cougar. Anyway, Joss Stone did look nice. Wondering if anyone happened to notice if she had shoes on?
It’s true, those sort of hats do go to church a lot in the south. No the Georgia O’Keefe ones so much as the Queen’s and Camilla’s type of hat.
Those are truly some great Baptist Hats! And thanks Lester for the “heads up” on the Butterfly Girl. I knew she looked familiar!
I have seen some butt ugly hats and I am sorry but I am just not getting the ginger love for Harry. That dude may be funny but sexy…hell no. I did see some lovely hats but since my head is too large to accommodate such lovely things I pretend I just hate hats. Unless it’s a sombrero,those always fit.
By the way I am a close personal friend of the Queen and she told me personally that she and Chooch were lovers.
Great hat recap!! I loved the princess in pink (from Spain or somewhere) and the purple hat at the end. Both were beautiful but not ridiculous looking. What was up with Sarah’s kids??? Do they really have no taste or were they protesting that their mother wasn’t invited? Hideous!
Finally, something about The Wedding that had almost enough pics of Harry!
It’s interesting to me that the hats run the gamut of beatiful to absolutely hideous. I loved Princess Letizia, the Queen (yellow is a hard color to carry off, and I do think she did well) and Joss Stone. It goes without saying that the Princesses of York are …. sad to say the least. Do they not have gays in the UK?! Prince Edward should do his nieces a solid and hook them up with some clothes and hair gays asap.
I have to say that I feel sorry for anyone sitting within a 3 foot radius of Claudia Bradby – bitch turns her head and she could take out a row of guests.
Oh! And Prince Hot Ginge is hot!
Thanks for the pretty pictures on a grim Monday, Chooch!
Carol — I think it came to light a few years ago that Charles was not the only unfaithful party in his and Diana’s marriage. I think THAT’S why William and Harry look nothing alike.
LOL@Ohralphie about bitch taking out the row of guests.
Love this! So many fabulous hats, and the fug ones add to the fun. @ Sarcas, my great-aunt had dozens of those fabulous going-to-church hats. (if you live to 90 you have bunches) After her death, we kept a few favorites, then donated the rest to the drama dept. of our local university. They were thrilled!
I think perhaps Fergie’s girls are either just being cheeky young women or have quite a bit of their mother’s spirit in them. Yes, I think the Queen looked good. Nice color, nice hat. And, I think she and the Duke did very well climbing in and out the carriage for their ages! It would be just my luck to be sitting behind one of those wummin with the gimungous hats. I did NOT recognize Princess Anne. Neighhhhhhh! But, she’s always looked quite, um, equine.
@lestermaddox – I have been saying the two princesses were Cinderella’s step-sisters since the first time I saw them at the wedding! HORRIBLE! They were straight out of a Tim Burton film!
I have to say that Her Royal Homewrecker was actually QEII, and Prince Phillip.
If Charles had been allowed to marry Camilla in the first place, naive, drama-queen, spoiled little Lady Diana could’ve been someone else’s headache.
(Though I do agree that she honestly wanted to be in love with her husband, instead of a sacrificial virgin).
And yeah, that first commoner picture IS Beatrice. Sorry to say that this re-cap was pretty bad, since alot of facts are wrong.
Queen Sophia of Spain reminds me so much of Sally Field (20 yrs older maybe) with helmut hair from Steel Magnolias. Kinda surprised no one else has made that connection ??
@hutchlover, agreed. That home was wrecked before Diana got there. I kind of like Camilla now. She’s put up with a lot and the boys obviously get along with her. I thought she looked very nice.
That’s a rugby ball. Not a football. COMPLETELY different sport. (Not to mention that rugby kick’s football’s ass so much.) And I love me some Harry as well, I have always thought he was hotter than William. (Although I do think William is totally adorable, bald spot and all.)
I think Harry looks a great deal like Charles, just as Will obviously favors his mother. I thought the Queen looked fabulous, I loved the yellow she was wearing and her hat was wonderful. I also thought Kate’s Mother’s hat was fabulous – loved the ruffles on the underside.
I was hoping for a recap that would comment on the headgear. Great job. So much ridiculousness in one event. And the funny thing (to me anyway) is that the women with the stupidest looking hats seemed to think that they looked fabulous. What’s up with the things that stick in the center of the forehead? It’s like they were covering a unicorn horn or something. Does anyone have the guts to tell them they look stupid? The Queen looked lovely and cheerful in yellow. I love that she wore such a happy color. Pippa’s dress was gorgeous and was perfect for her. Of course the bride’s gown was lovely. Princess Anne is not aging well — I didn’t even recognize her. I will admit to watching the beginning of the ceremony live but in my defense I work nights from home online so I was already up and connected. I was surprised at how good I felt watching.