Ozzfest is now offering wedding packages. And they’re calling it the Unholy Matrimony wedding package. This packages is allowing couples to tie the knot at the heavy metal festival. The Ozzfest’s Unholy Matrimony package includes 10 general admission pit tickets for the bride and groom, and 8 guests, an official wedding ceremony by the Ozzfest ordained minister MC Big Dave, and an Ozzfest cake, and champagne toast.
Are they serious about this? Because when I think of romance, I think of guyliner, and a beer gut–what could be more romantic than doing the money dance in the mosh pit? I guess it’s their only way of selling tickets since their fans are all at that ripe age of getting married, for the third time.
Oh, and can we touch upon the Ozzfest cake? What else are they going to advertise…that it comes in a variety of different flavors: Purple Diesel, OG Kush, Black Haze, and everyone’s favorite classic: Mowie Zowie. And If you don’t finish they do provide doggy bags for leftovers, or as they call them dime bags.
So, who wants to get married?