Golden Globe Nominations: Flipit Hands Out Awards Early

Watercooler

By Flipit | Thursday, December 13, 2012 | 1:05 pm | 12 Comments
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Posted in: Watercooler

Screen Shot 2012-12-13 At 1.00.36 Pm

The wackos at the Hollywood Foreign Press announced their nominations for the 70th Annual Golden Globes this morning. I haven’t seen any of these movies because I’m a poor uncultured slob. The noms come out right before Christmas and I have way too much to do so I can’t catch up now. Therefore, I will just hand out the awards myself right now so I don’t have to think about the Globes again til next year. What are you awarding? Leave it in the comments!

BEST PICTURE: DRAMA: I like Pie, and a life of it sounds amazing. I’ll vote for that.

• “Argo”

• “Django Unchained”

• “Life of Pi”

• “Lincoln”

• “Zero Dark Thirty”

BEST PICTURE: COMEDY OR MUSICAL: Les Miz will probably win this, because it’s super pretentious and three hours. If it sucks and you fall asleep, at least the perty music will be a good soundtrack to your dreams of being chased down by a zombie version of Patti LuPone out for revenge because Anne Hathaway is playing her role. Sorry, that’s my dream. But you get the picture.

• “Exotic Marigold Hotel”

• “Les Miserables”

• “Moonrise Kingdom”

• “Salmon Fishing in the Yemen”

• “Silver Linings Playbook”

BEST DIRECTOR: Ben Affleck will probably get this. Every time he does something great (which is often, lately), I applaud him because I always assumed he was a dumbass slab of man meat. Plus, he was in Gigli.

• Ben Affleck, “Argo”

• Kathryn Bigelow, “Zero Dark Thirty”

• Ang Lee, “Life of Pi

• Steven Spielberg, “Lincoln”

• Quentin Tarantino, “Django Unchained”

BEST ACTOR: DRAMA: Daniel Day Lewis sounds like the Col in the old Kentucky Fried Chicken commercials to me. I mean that as a compliment. I give it to DDL!

• Daniel Day-Lewis, “Lincoln”

• Richard Gere, “Arbitrage”

• John Hawkes, “The Sessions”

• Joaquin Phoenix, “The Master”

• Denzel Washington, “Flight”

BEST ACTRESS: DRAMA: Helen Mirren should win every award for everything. Including best drink at Starbucks. She’s Helen Mirren DAMMIT.

• Jessica Chastain, “Zero Dark Thirty”

• Marion Cotillard, “Rust & Bone”

• Helen Mirren, “Hitchcock”

• Naomi Watts, “The Impossible”

• Rachel Weisz, “The Deep Blue Sea”

BEST ACTRESS: COMEDY OR MUSICAL: Maggie Smith for Quartet, because I love her in Downton Abbey.

• Emily Blunt, “Salmon Fishing In The Yemen”

• Judi Dench, “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel”

• Jennifer Lawrence, “Silver Linings Playbook”

• Maggie Smith, “Quartet”

• Meryl Streep, “Hope Springs”

BEST ACTOR: COMEDY OR MUSICAL: Hugh Jackman is so snotty and actory and obnoxious in the extended Les Miz previews that I can’t vote for him. Especially in a movie where he insists on wearing a shirt. I give it to Jack Black, because chunky people should win something in Hollywood. Plus, Bernie was fuuuuunny.

• Jack Black, “Bernie”

• Bradley Cooper, “Silver Linings Playbook”

• Hugh Jackman, “Les Miserables”

• Ewan McGregor, “Salmon Fishing In The Yemen”

• Bill Murray, “Hyde Park On Hudson”

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Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

12 Comments

  1. 1
    chooch850 chooch850
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    I loved your choices and I don’t go to movies either BUT “Lincoln” is going to sweep the awards this year. ALL OF THEM! Steven Spielberg, Daniel Day Lewis and Sally Fields are just standing in the wings, waiting to collect them again. We will get to see and hear Sally tell us all how much we like her, we really really do!

    Frankenweenie has to win Best Cartoon, just because it has “weenie” in it’s title!

    Of course I agree with your choice of “Breaking Bad” and Walter White. Killing and melting little boys and their bikes in barrels has never been more entertaining!

    I didn’t know you watched “Girls”! I thought I was the only one watching it. I LOVED watching Hannah and Adam trying to sex. It was hilarious in such a disturbing way…. and then he peed in the shower. LOL! I hope she wins all the comedy categories, but I’m afraid she will lose to that stupid Zooey Deschanel and that awful show of hers and even worse, they’ll give it to Julia Louie Dreyfus AGAIN for that horrible VEEP.

    It will definitely be Louie CK vs Jim Parsons . Two totally different characters. Louie will win though. He is finally getting recognized. He is so much like my kid, it makes me crack up every time I watch him!

    Sister Jude is a scene-stealing whore and Jessica Lange is awesome.

    Like you, the rest I don’t care much about. I see they finally gave up on putting “Dexter” on they Drama list. Seems serial killers just don’t warrant awards the way meth dealers do. As for “females in a drama”, they never can find a decent choice, can they. Why not someone from “Parenthood” or “Grimm” or even “Once Upon a Time”. As a matter of fact, these shows should be represented in somewhere anyways. They have way more viewers.

    Ok… I’m done. Loved your take on things and glad to have my say!

  2. 2
    Stacey
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    Give em all to Dame Maggie! She is the shit!!

  3. 3
    labowner
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 4:12 pm

    Flipit you saw Bernie? Has anyone seen that movie? What a great watch.

  4. 4
    carol
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    Please tell me you are going to be recapping the actual Golden Globes. I might not agree with all your picks but your snark totally convinced me that your picks should win.

  5. 5
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 6:37 pm

    I loathe Quentin Tarantino…so he’s guaranteed to win.

    Oh…Flipit? I love you.

  6. 6
    Flipit Flipit
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 1:15 am

    Love back! And yes, labowner I did see that flick and really loved it. It was so dark and bizarre. Especially loved the last scene when they showed the real guy! I was cracking up that he was so smiley and happy to be interviewed.

  7. 7
    Flipit Flipit
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 1:15 am

    oh and thanks carol!! not sure about the globes. I will def have someone recapping them even if it’s not me!

  8. 8
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 6:25 am

    MOONRISE KINGDOM and I cannot wait for Django! Huge QT fan.

  9. 9
    BellicoseBaby
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 7:36 am

    Flipit – thanks for the Patti Lupone vid, hoping she Kanyes Hathaway, if the the award goes Anne’s way.

    Also, have you seen Ruthie Henshall’s I Dreamed a Dream? To die for. Seriously, weeping…copious tears…

  10. 10
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 8:58 am

    - Jeff Daniels, Best Actor in a Drama Series – The Newsroom: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. God, that show’s still giving me flashbacks.

    Hayden Pannettiere – Best Actress in a Supporting Role blah blah blah: This nomination will be remembered as the Pia Zadora nomination for years to come.

    But no, seriously, if Patti Lupone didn’t take out a hit on Madonna for crapping all over Evita, Ann’s safe.

  11. 11
    georgiababe
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    I’m so annoyed that Game of Thrones was completely ignored by the Golden Globes AND the SAG Awards. I mean, they were nominated for at least a couple of things for the first season and the second season was way better.

    Daniel Day-Lewis will probably win, but I really want John Hawkes to get it. I love that guy, he’s a fabulously talented, yet very underrated actor.

    Apparently Jennifer Lawrence is a favourite to sweep the awards this year (including the Oscar), but I think she’s kind of overrated.

    I hate that Hayden Panettiere and Zooey Deschanel are nominated, they are both so terrible. Zooey Deschanel is just so annoying. And is it acting when you are just being yourself on camera? I think not.

    Bryan Cranston is amazing, but I also have mad love for Steve Buscemi. If either of them get it I’ll be satisfied.

    I was reading an article somewhere and people were apparently miffed that The Walking Dead was ignored. HAHAHAHAHA THAT SHOW SUCKS. I mean, I watch it and I think they’ve got some decent people, but the writing is all over the place and the plot has so many ridiculous holes.

  12. 12
    georgiababe
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    @BellicoseBaby – YES. Ruthie Henshall is by far my favourite Fantine, she’s absolutely fabulous. The 10th Anniversary Concert is amazing, amazing, amazing.

    I do not like Anne Hathaway. I just find her really annoying.

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