Gwyneth is Too Fat to Live

Watercooler

By Flipit | Wednesday, November 10, 2010 | 2:00 pm | 3 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , ,
Posted in: Watercooler

Gwyneth is all over the place this week. There’s a story about her in every magazine. I think even Cat Fancy has a spread. Every single story is about her weight. EVERY. ONE. “Gwyneth had to gain twenty pounds for a role!” “Gwyneth filmed a movie in Memphis and ate FLOUR!!!! WHITE FLOURRRRRR!!!”

Even a simple press release about singing at the Country Music Awards tonight turns into “Gwyneth: I’ve Lost My Appetite” Over CMAs debut. Good lord. TWENTY POUNDS. I wish I was her friend so I could call her and leave her voicemails about how fat she’s gotten.

Screen Shot 2010-11-09 At 11.25.10 Pm
You should have named your kid Fried Chicken, heifer.

Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

3 Comments

  1. 1
    Wasabipeas wasabipeas
    Posted November 11, 2010 at 4:46 am

    Poor Gwyneth, it must be awful to look normal. At least it is all for art.

  2. 2
    mere2142
    Posted November 11, 2010 at 6:02 am

    I think she needs to call up that Fat Bitch Heidi Klum for a gym date stat!

  3. 3
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted November 11, 2010 at 8:53 am

    Considering she was at least 35 pounds underweight, I don’t think we should lose a night’s sleep over her gain of 20 pounds…that she will lose after a month with her personal trainer, and her purging.

    But, gosh…in the menatime, who have they been idolizing on the Thinspiration pages?

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