It’s Official: Snooki is Preggers And Engaged

Watercooler

By Nads | Wednesday, March 7, 2012 | 8:55 am | 35 Comments
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Posted in: Watercooler

It’s official! Snooki confirmed to Us Weekly that she’s pregnant and engaged. Thank God she announced the news, I’ve been waiting on pins and needles…

She told Us that she’s 15 weeks preggers and engaged to her boyfriend (now fiance) Jionni LaValle. She told Us, ”I have different priorities now. I don’t care what anybody else thinks. As long as I know I’m ready and he’s ready.” 

Then Snooki went on about how hard she was partying over New Years before she knew she was pregnant. She said, “S–t, I’ve been drinking!’ I was worried. It was New Year’s Eve and we were in Vegas, so I did go crazy.” I wonder if that’s her disclaimer in case her baby comes out looking like The Situation.

Still I pose the question, what the hell are they going to do with the spinoff? Is JWoww going to be the Doula? What will they call the spinoff? Two Guidettes, A Juicehead-Gorilla and a Baby… This is going to be good.

 

 

About

Although comedy is her profession, Nadine has accomplished a lot in her young age. She is a national champion black belt, a world-class soccer player, and an avid snowboarder. She started playing soccer at the age of 4, and continued playing through college where she majored in Biology, but quickly realized her destiny was to tell jokes, not to wear a lab coat. So she decided to be funny while finishing her Bachelors Degree in biology and continued on to get her M.B.A. Nadine’s comedy style is much like her athleticism, fearless. She’s made her way up the comedy ladder very quickly, and has become a club favorite at many of the country’s top comedy clubs, including the Improv chain. Performing in the Boston Comedy Festival and being noted as the “one of the youngest and brightest up and comers” and traveling to the Middle East to entertain the troops are just a few of her notable accomplishments. These days Nadine splits time between the stage, a radio studio, her computer blogging, and a television studio. Nadine’s TV, Radio, Writing credits include: national commercials, talking head roles on E! Entertainment, Showtime’s Hot Tamales Live, The Skinny: Fat Free News, The Sunny Side of The Truth: Real World Hollywood, TVgasm, Zazreport, Daddy’s Girls, Jerseylicious, celebrity interviews on Mania TV, a weekly half-hour television show that syndicates to colleges across the country for National Lampoon and a nightly radio show on XM Satellite Radio.

35 Comments

  1. 1
    SuburBint
    Posted March 7, 2012 at 9:21 am

    JMomm as doula… that would be awesome. “STFU, Nicole, and push!”

  2. 2
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted March 7, 2012 at 9:27 am

    It’s the STFU part that would be difficult for Snooks.

  3. 3
    MommyQCT
    Posted March 7, 2012 at 9:37 am

    ok – someone needs to track down Vinny’s whereabouts around New Years and before… I am just dying for this to be Viinny’s baby!

  4. 4
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted March 7, 2012 at 10:04 am

    The way I see it, if the baby’s still shorter than its parents by its third birthday, it’s Snooki’s and Jionni’s.

  5. 5
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted March 7, 2012 at 10:10 am

    If it’s pale, MommyQCT will win. What if it keeps pulling its shirt up?

  6. 6
    WaffleBoy
    Posted March 7, 2012 at 11:05 am

    I so embarrassed that I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I understand how Snookie got pregnant, (my Mom signing that permission slip for 4th grade health class pays off yet again) but what I don’t understand is how is Snookie engaged? Stop me if I’m wrong, but didn’t she and her little person have a fight last season in Italy, and after his mommy flew him home, Snookie promptly marched into Vinnie’s bedroom and humped his brains out on national TV, and not only are they still together, but now they’re engaged? I’d like to say I don’t understand young people anymore, but for the life of me I don’t know why my folks insist on watching every show on CBS that involved dead people being carted off camera with gurneys in the opening scene. I’m just very confused.

  7. 7
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted March 7, 2012 at 11:34 am

    Thanks for rubbing it in my face Nads. :)

    I wonder how Sitch is taking this. You know he’s “in love” with her. Quotes were used to denote sarcasm.

    OMG! Captcha is no longer the devil…it doesn’t eat my posts!! Yippie!

  8. 8
    SuburBint
    Posted March 7, 2012 at 11:45 am

    Snooki has cheated on Jionni multiple times, in multiple ways, and (as someone mentioned on one of the Jersey Shore comment threads) it is highly unlikely that Jionni just stayed at home and knitted while Snooki was in Italy. But as long as she stays famous and keeps getting paid for doing nothing, it would be stupid of him to break up with her. In five years or so, when the world has gotten over Snooki as a personality and she’s no longer invited to premieres or paid mega bucks just to show up and drink a particular brand of vodka, I expect their relationship will crumble.

  9. 9
    SuburBint
    Posted March 7, 2012 at 11:47 am

    Take it back, SSC! We do not make jokes about Schiztuation DNA being passed on to future generations. EVER.

  10. 10
    Sugarbush Joy_Subtraction
    Posted March 7, 2012 at 12:11 pm

    How did she make it this far without someone hog-tying her and sterilizing her so she couldn’t reproduce? We have failed as a peoples.

    I hate to be so serious about this, but I hate this whole (forgive the pun) situation for the child. Can you imagine the traumas this child will suffer at the hands of his/her 100% incompetent mother and pushover father? Ugh. I’d adopt the baby, but I’m afraid it would come out with a bouffant and a jar of pickles.

  11. 11
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted March 7, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    Okay, SuperB. I’m hanging my head in remorse over the Schiztuation comment. But you can’t seriously be thinking that she/they will be inflicted upon us for Five. Long. Years.

  12. 12
    suedisco
    Posted March 7, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    She should settle in Franklin Lakes and join the cast of Real Housewives of New Jersey. Bam…cross promotion!

  13. 13
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted March 7, 2012 at 1:49 pm

    Oh Suedisco, puleeeeeze. Spare us.

  14. 14
    SuburBint
    Posted March 7, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    True, our national attention span is only… oh, look, shiny!

    Seriously though, we’ve got another what, seven-ish months until she gives birth, then at least the kid’s first year will be over-publicized (more if it’s a girl,) so that’s a year and a half of easy publicity right there, not to mention all of the new baby-related product endorsements. After those 18 months, Snooki will be bored to death of motherhood and/or desperate to regain her former notoriety, so she will either get pregnant again or pull some crazy stunts (think Britney Spears) in order to put herself back in the spot light. She’ll milk whatever fame and attention that garners for another eighteen months, putting us at three years. Add another two years for the very public spats, cheating, name-calling, and profligate spending their way through Snooki’s bank account, until the money is all gone and the divorce is finalized, and we’re at five years.

  15. 15
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted March 7, 2012 at 1:55 pm

    You know, superB, it is really scary the way you have that all figured out.

  16. 16
    CathodeTube CathodeTube
    Posted March 7, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    So her urinary tract is OK then?

  17. 17
    SuburBint
    Posted March 7, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    You’re telling me! LOL

  18. 18
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted March 7, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    Snooki is engaged because she’s pregnant. It’s the new trend. You don’t have to get married, but being a fiance is somehow less embarrassing than being a girlfriend. It’s like Baby Mama-lite.

  19. 19
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted March 7, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    Yea. It’s the other tract we have to worry about.

  20. 20
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted March 7, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    The only reason Snooki got pregnant is because she learned butt sex gives her UTIs.

  21. 21
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted March 7, 2012 at 5:25 pm

    Sinusister, your avatar is the perfect illustration of what Snooks should have done!!!!!!!!!!!

  22. 22
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted March 7, 2012 at 7:15 pm

    Yes, my avatar is such a lady. Keeps her knees together! :)

  23. 23
    lindaw205
    Posted March 8, 2012 at 6:38 am

    I’m just hoping gets that butt good and clean before insisting that baby travel through that nasty birth canal. Maybe there’s some way to have it steam cleaned? With really stong antibiotics!!

  24. 24
    lindaw205
    Posted March 8, 2012 at 6:40 am

    Oh, and lots and lots of bleach!

  25. 25
    sardini
    Posted March 8, 2012 at 6:50 am

    I’m only a week further along than Snooki. She must be REALLY out of touch with her body if she didn’t know she was preggers on New Year’s Eve. She probably just assumed she was puking all the time from being hungover, which is great for newly developing fetuses!

  26. 26
    SuburBint
    Posted March 8, 2012 at 6:59 am

    Congrats, sardini!

  27. 27
    SuburBint
    Posted March 8, 2012 at 7:00 am

    I would bet the million dollars that I do not have that Snooki opts for a C-section.

  28. 28
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted March 8, 2012 at 7:07 am

    Congrats from me too, Sardini. Hubbycat and I went to bed early and slept (TMI?). Anyway, beg to differ, SuperB, but I’ll see your million and raise you a million (that neither of us has) that she goes for an epidural. Don’t want to scar that tummy, do we?

    Besides, I’ll bet that canal is the size of the suez and the kid will slide out like a wet bar of soap.

  29. 29
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted March 8, 2012 at 7:09 am

    Hers, not yours, Sardini!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  30. 30
    SuburBint
    Posted March 8, 2012 at 7:29 am

    Thanks for that visual, SSC! ‘Scuse me while I go throw up and spray some bleach into my brain now….

    I’ve had 3 C-sections, and the scarring is really minimal. And I’m one of those people who still has scars from mosquito bites that I got when I was in elementary school — my skin is extremely unforgiving. Plus, an elective C-section means they do the easily hideable bikini line incision instead of the “get that baby out NOW!” gash from belly button to pubic bone that they do in an emergency. And since Snookers isn’t tall enough to go on half of the rides at DisneyLand, I’m guessing that regardless of her canal capacity, her bone structure would make an emergency C-section highly likely.

    And I can’t believe that I’m sitting here seriously contemplating the best birth plan for Snooki, of all people, instead of writing my Jersey Shore recap for the last episode. Stop being so interesting, ‘Gasmii!

  31. 31
    hot cawfee
    Posted March 8, 2012 at 4:45 pm

    Are we rreeeaaallllyyyyy sure she is preggers and this isnt a UTI run amuk?????

    How soon can we begin the obvious snarks about a quick delivery b/c of her stretchy cuka????

  32. 32
    hot cawfee
    Posted March 8, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    Sardini— mucho congrats—–another weee gasmi-in training will be here soon—–sending you Saltines and a leopard print slanket to get you thru.

  33. 33
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted March 8, 2012 at 5:45 pm

    Hey Hottie, SuperB and I had a bit of a bet on her JS blog whether snooks would have a C-section or an epidural. The kittens were born au natural, so I don’t have a clue about such things, but superB assures that Snooks can keep her bikini bod almost scarless.

    I am not proud of my comparison to the Suez Canal, but there it is.

  34. 34
    sardini
    Posted March 9, 2012 at 6:26 am

    Thank you, everyone! It’s just so funny how everyone’s life is different. I was an “oopsie” baby, my mom was only 20, but of course my mom is no Snooki and made it work. Our friend Snooki leads a careless, whirlwind life, and bam – gets rewarded with fame (although the worst kind), money, a husband and a kid. Yes, I understand it’s not so perfect and cut and dry.

    I on the other hand got through my trainwreck early 20′s, all night partying, established a career, dated my husband 4 years, got married and then got knocked up at age 33, when I was ready. Planning, waiting and settling down probably never occurred to Snooki. She just wants to make Guido babies. Obviously I’d rather be me than her.

    And I am totally having an elective c-section. For me, it’s the only choice.

  35. 35
    BellicoseBaby
    Posted March 10, 2012 at 9:34 pm

    That has got to be one pickled fetus.

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