Jodie Sweetin’s Memoir: She’s Sober–Surprise.

Jodie Sweetin’s memoir, unSweetined comes out today, and US Magazine has released the cliff notes…so much that you probably don’t even need to thumb through it at the store.

From Us Magazine:

No. 1: Sweetin got so drunk at costar Candace Cameron’s wedding in 1996, she vomited and had to be carried out.

“I probably had two bottles of wine, and I was only 14. That first drink gave me the self confidence I had been searching for my whole life. But that set the pattern of the kind of drinking that I would do.”

No. 2: Sweetin graduated to ecstasy in high school and cocaine in college.

“I wanted to prove that I could get more trashed than anyone. There were times I did so much coke, I’d be there laying there, getting sick and thinking ‘I’m going to die.’ But I didn’t care.”

No. 3: During the premiere for Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen’s 2004 movie New York Minute, she walked the red carpet “high as a kite” and snorted meth in a bathroom stall.

“I was pulling off the deceit. It was hard for people to believe I was doing that much drugs. I look at photos from that event, and I didn’t even look strung out!”

No. 4: When she was 9 months old, Sweetin was adopted. She later learned her biological mom also abused drugs and her dad was killed in a prison riot.

“I would hear stories about my mom leaving me to go off and party. And for years I was like, ‘F*** her. How could somebody do that to their kid?’ When I started seeing my own addiction getting in the way of being a mom, I finally understood: If you’re not in the right place to get sober, you’re not ready to be a mom.”

No. 5: Though she bragged about her sobriety to Good Morning America and People in June 2008, she was secretly still getting high.

“I was selfish, self-serving, insecure, angry and fearful person living a double life. I covered up my problems by pretending to be happy and saying that everything was fine.”

No. 6: She drove drunk with her baby daughter.

“That was the big rock bottom. I had two glasses of wine and drove with her in the car. I not only put myself in danger, but also my daughter, who I loved more than anything. I felt terrible.”

No. 7: She’s still battling with second husband Cody Herpin for shared custody of Zoie.

“I got sober for good on December 7, 2008. I was flying to L.A. and I ended up taking a bunch of Nyquil and drinking a s—load. When I got home, I got a call that there was an emergency custody investigation because of my drinking. From that day forward, I threw myself into going to AA and avoided people who do blow off their coffee tables. We’re working on a custody agreement right now. But life is good. I’m happier than I can remember.”

I’m sure she’s good and sober now, but this “I’m off drugs” PR stunt has been going on since 2006. The first I heard of her being a mess was in 2006–and that’s only because SHE came forward and said she was sober–and it worked…she got some media attention.

Here’s what I think the celebrities’ publicists are doing wrong–they’re releasing sobriety too soon. You can only use the sobriety card once (maybe twice if you’re a big star), before it gets old, and just plain pathetic.

Look at Lindsay, Mischa, Britney (although she’s kind of back-ish), and Amy Winehouse…it’s old, they’ve cried sober wolf too many times…but if you look at stars that have just used their sober card once–they’re back, and have regained questionable respect…Eva Mendes, Winona Ryder, Tracy Morgan, David Duchovny. It’s PR 101.

As I digress, Jodie’s book hit shelves today if anyone is interested.