Hey guys, don’t know if you saw it, but Kevin Smith, the noted director of Clerks, and not so noted director of Jersey Girl, got kicked of a Southwest flight Sunday for being a little too big boned. You can read the actual article about this event here [INSERT LINK HERE]
Don’t know about anyone else but the first question I asked when I read this was just what the hell is Kevin Smith doing on a Southwest flight? Stop me if I’m wrong, but how can you get regular work in Hollywood as a writer, director, and when you’re doing the casting, an actor, and end up in what I like to think of a flying cattle cars? What, did Kevin give all his retirement money to Bernie Madoff too? I mean what is the point of making it in Hollywood if there is even a remote chance you could have to interact for a two hour flight with the kind of bozo who flies on the absolute cheapest flight he can find (translation, me)?
Now as for Kevin Smith being too fat, here’s where things get kind of tricky. The good news is Kevin is aware that he’s extra husky, so he routinely buys tickets for two seats, and he did this for this flight, so at this point in the story Mr smith is doing everything he can to be in the right. However I guess on this flight he ended up flying standby, and they only had one seat left on the plane and they couldn’t get the arm rest down because there was just too much Kevin Smith in the seat, so Kevin got bounced off the flight.
Luckily for the media, Kevin Smith promptly began to twitter about this event, and well now you have something to read about, so aren’t we lucky? We you and I are lucky, Kevin Smith, not so much.
I have kind of mixed emotions about this situation. Naturally, I don’t want to see anyone be publicly embarrassed in this sort of situation, because no one becomes fat out of spite. Farting out of spite is a completely different subject, and has nothing to do with this story so we’ll just forget I brought it up.
That being said, on the other hand, I don’t know about you guys, but when I fly lately, I’m not at my most understanding regarding, well pretty much everything. You see what with being asked to arrive several hours before the flight, standing in long lines, being hosed with an inventive and never ending list of fees by the airlines, taking my shoes off, repeatedly emptying my pockets, and knowing that if that little Samoan lady at the metal detector is having a bad day, the odds of someone trying to insert their entire hand into my poop shoot are going to move from a “hopefully a long shot gamble” to a “responsible investment for your children’s college fund.”
I guess that what I’m trying to say is by the time I get into my seat If anyone thinks I am going to go sharesies on even a square inch of my seat with anyone, be they a director I like, friends, family, or even motherhumping Santa Claus at that point, is completely and utterly out of their F-ing trees.
Anyway, like I said, I’m a little conflicted about this story, what do you guys think?