Look Under Your Seats! We’re Going To Australia!!!

Watercooler

By Nads | Monday, September 13, 2010 | 1:26 pm | 40 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , ,
Posted in: Watercooler

oprah australia

Oprah Winfrey is kicking off her 25th season by taking her audience to Australia with John Travolta as their pilot! No joke! She announced to the crowd: “We’re Going To Australia!!!”

God, I wish I was in that audience. I just want to hear Oprah scream in person, it would be a dream come true. I’d love to hear that bitch yell, “You get a boomerang, and you get a boomerang…you want didgeridoos? Look under you seat! Pull them out, and give them a BLOOOWWW! We’re going to Austraaaliiiiaa!”

I guess John Travolta has been planning this trip with Oprah for over a year!! Season 25 is going to be big…who knows, maybe she’ll even come out…stranger things have happened.

About

Although comedy is her profession, Nadine has accomplished a lot in her young age. She is a national champion black belt, a world-class soccer player, and an avid snowboarder. She started playing soccer at the age of 4, and continued playing through college where she majored in Biology, but quickly realized her destiny was to tell jokes, not to wear a lab coat. So she decided to be funny while finishing her Bachelors Degree in biology and continued on to get her M.B.A. Nadine’s comedy style is much like her athleticism, fearless. She’s made her way up the comedy ladder very quickly, and has become a club favorite at many of the country’s top comedy clubs, including the Improv chain. Performing in the Boston Comedy Festival and being noted as the “one of the youngest and brightest up and comers” and traveling to the Middle East to entertain the troops are just a few of her notable accomplishments. These days Nadine splits time between the stage, a radio studio, her computer blogging, and a television studio. Nadine’s TV, Radio, Writing credits include: national commercials, talking head roles on E! Entertainment, Showtime’s Hot Tamales Live, The Skinny: Fat Free News, The Sunny Side of The Truth: Real World Hollywood, TVgasm, Zazreport, Daddy’s Girls, Jerseylicious, celebrity interviews on Mania TV, a weekly half-hour television show that syndicates to colleges across the country for National Lampoon and a nightly radio show on XM Satellite Radio.

40 Comments

  1. 1
    Mister Dangerous
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 3:56 pm

    I would rather have a new car. What’s Australia got? An opera house and some kangaroos. Big deal. I want her to give me a new car and then I want her to go away. Uh, and I don’t want to go anywhere with John Travolta. I read in the Enquirer that he spends all his time in “SPAs” with his big butt up in the air.

  2. 2
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 4:40 pm

    lol @ Mr. Dangerous! I’m going to Australia in a week on a biz trip and I’m hoping to spot some kangaroos in the wild. Or even better, get pic of them shagging like my friend did at the Steve Irwin zoo…classic!

    And Travolta…a power bottom? lolz..and I was so sure he was a top.

  3. 3
    nads
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    i love Australia. and make no mistake, I’d take a car over the trip, I just want to hear Oprah scream. every time she does the scream it makes me think of Tina Fey’s impression on 30 Rock.

  4. 4
    Matt Lam
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 7:59 pm

    Straight guys bottom, because they already “top” with girls…

    So I was told.

  5. 5
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 8:07 pm

    lol @ Matt! Where’ve you been? Missed you around here?

    Well, girls with penis envy can sometimes get their straight guys to bottom, too…using a strapon and the art or persuasion. Or so I, ahem, was told.

  6. 6
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 8:11 pm

    *missed you around here!* punctuation typos are the worst,

  7. 7
    Matt Lam
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 8:13 pm

    @Sarcas: Right lol. Now I have weird mental pictures.
    You learned that from the Salahis, right?

  8. 8
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 8:21 pm

    Well, I was their dinner guest, you know, and they just counldn’t resist showing me their basement..

  9. 9
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 8:23 pm

    Oh, and no worries..the only thing I strap-on are sandals. The kind with the cocks for heels.

    (Gosh, I read too much Anne Rice…lol)

  10. 10
    Matt Lam
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 8:25 pm

    Anne Rice writes about sandals with cocks for heels? LOL.

    She’s sicker than Nancy Grace.

  11. 11
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 8:35 pm

    The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty.

    The first book in a hetero/homoerotic trilogy full of S&M and some the coolest/sickest punishments ever. No horses for this queen! Take 10 of the most strapping young men, strip them nude, make them don high equestrian boots, and harness them with a bit for their mouths. Then..(this is the kicker)..insert a long phallus into each of them, letting only the ends remain exposed as it sports a long, flowing horse’s tail. Instruct these ‘horses’ to pull your carriage in an elegant prance with ramrod straight backs without ever releasing the ‘tail’.

    And this was one of the tamer tricks Ms. Rice had up her sleeve.. and she wrote it alot better than my summary. Needless to say, recommended.

  12. 12
    Matt Lam
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 8:45 pm

    That kinda sounds like something I read, in one of Sade’s books.

    Although, he took that shit way further, but still.

  13. 13
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 9:25 pm

    Yes..they are way dark. I’ve heard about my main Marquis and will eventually check his stuff out.. And by stuff, I mean, books.

  14. 14
    Matt Lam
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    Is “stuff” is long gone. So I’m guessing… Not that I actually checked or nothin’.

    Why is WordPress telling me I’m “posting too quickly”?

  15. 15
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 9:48 pm

    It can’t handle you’re genius!

  16. 16
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 9:50 pm

    you’re = your… I always eff that up. Sheesh..I need some of that genius over here, matt.

  17. 17
    Matt Lam
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 9:50 pm

    Is that a typo typo, or a punctuation typo?

  18. 18
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 9:53 pm

    good question..I dunno! i would say typo-typo but the error is punctuation..lol, so let’s chalk it up to me being a idjit.

  19. 19
    Matt Lam
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 10:02 pm

    But you’re nice, right? Ain’t you nice? You’re nice, right?

    You know, you’ll really be an idjit when you say “obuduh”.

    Ok, I think WordPress thinks I’m premature, in my postings.

  20. 20
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 10:09 pm

    Oh yea, I’m real nice and sweet. And I only make these kinda mistakes because I didn’t speak english until kindergarten. Ask Joe. “Joe!” Oh, he can’t come because he’s sprinkling his no-no in the obuduh. For some reason it’s been really sore lately. he says it’s hemmoroids, but I don’t know..it’s like it never heals.

  21. 21
    Matt Lam
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 10:18 pm

    LMAO! He got hemmoroids on his peehnus? Probably came from the ticks living in T’s downstairs forest.

  22. 22
    Matt Lam
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 10:19 pm

    LMAO! He got hemmoroids on his peehnus? Probably came from the ticks living in T’s downstairs forest.

    WTF?! Now it’s telling me I can’t post!?

  23. 23
    Matt Lam
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 10:19 pm

    Wow. Double post. Sorry. :S

  24. 24
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 10:27 pm

    WordPress is no match for you!

    His no-no is a power-bottom’s happy hole, puckering with anticipation the minute he enters a steamroom. The first saturday of every month, Joe and Teresa groom each other like monkeys, picking through their furry bits and snacking on live protein. Well, as she had just scoured his taint for any signs of life, her eyes fell upon his no-no and she she saw it was all red and swollen. So she rubbed homemade tomate sauce on it and sent him to the obuduh. She’s used to think his fridat night spa visits would help but now…she’s not so sure.

  25. 25
    Matt Lam
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 10:49 pm

    Oh God, mental pictures!! Disgusting.

    But speaking of JudyChays, did you see T’s brother? He’s very good looking actually, and he has a FOREHEAD! :)

  26. 26
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 10:53 pm

    No! Where can I find him? Online, I mean. No worries, Teresa, I WILL NOT BREAK UP YOUR FAMILY!

  27. 27
    Matt Lam
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 11:07 pm

    http://blogs.babble.com/famecrawler/2010/09/07/melissa-gorga-newest-rhonj-cast-member-speaks-out-via-twitter/

    Scroll down, he’s there. Shirtless.

    Is it just me or Teresa’s face is fatter this year? Well her nose anyway…

  28. 28
    Pixielated
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 11:23 pm

    You can’t really see if he has a forehead in that picture. But from what you CAN see, who cares?

    The little girl has a forehead, anyhow.

  29. 29
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 11:23 pm

    it’s the perggo nose spread..few women are immune. I was lucky, but then again I spread everywhere else, so somewhere God is laughing.

    Yes..T’s brother got the good genes in the fam! And the kids look really cute..I hope they are also well behaved. The SIL looks/sounds like a piece of work, so good tv will result!

  30. 30
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 11:24 pm

    *preggo nose spread*

  31. 31
    Matt Lam
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 11:28 pm

    Yeah, I know. He’s hawt.

    SIL is pretty too and she looks like a nice person, maybe it’s her smile? We’ll see next season.

    Will the nose go back to normal? She didn’t have it last season and she already had the three other monsters.

  32. 32
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 11:29 pm

    “But from what you CAN see, who cares?” Haha!

    Well, I guess since most of us would pay to make sure none of the househusbands appeared ahirtless, atleast this one is making me regurgitate my Nutrament. (we all know it’s curdled by now) Because seeing Albert tan..or any hubby from the OC or ATL.. eeewww.

  33. 33
    Matt Lam
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 11:42 pm

    Ick, well Slade had a nice body.

    They should make a show about the husbands. Gregg and Bawby are the two cutest husbands ever! Not in their looks, but theie personalities. They’re like big Pooh bears you just wanna hug. (Yeah, i’m a hugger. I hug stuff too, like my TV when it’s showing me something I like. Like T and the obuduh, which is italian for bidet btw. She said so in her blog lol. Dumb bitch.)

  34. 34
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 13, 2010 at 11:45 pm

    okay..ignore any post that I don’t proofread. I’m gonna have to start writing them in Word to prevent future embarassment. :’(

  35. 35
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 14, 2010 at 12:17 am

    Yes, Slade does have a nice body..but he’s excluded because he was just a rich boyfriend who went poor, moved in with his new gf, who is living off the inheritance of her dead sugardaddy, while her new bf Slade ignores his cancer stricken son. Such a tangled web..

    Which one is Gregg? Nene’s hubby? “You. have. done. me. Wrooong as your wife!” He is a nice sugardaddy..supposedly he met Nene at a stripcub and turned a ho into a housewife. Which is what Vinnie from Jersey Shore was attempting with a go-go dancer at Tantra but…EPIC FAIL. :(

  36. 36
    sickofit
    Posted September 14, 2010 at 8:32 pm

    some of these comments are just wrong. wrong for a great site like this. what is you point?

  37. 37
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 16, 2010 at 11:35 am

    It has come to my attention that some of Matt’s and my comments have offended others. I apologize for the both of us. It was a joke that we took a bit too far.. once again, sorry guys.

  38. 38
    Prodigal Cheez
    Posted September 16, 2010 at 11:37 am

    You are a pig. The fact that this even has to be pointed out to you should tell you you need help. Of course it’s offensive you fucking moron.

  39. 39
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 16, 2010 at 4:12 pm

    @pcheez: I do find your hostility unnecessary. You posted a XXX/NSFW link on a newsgasm of Dr. Laura naked, spread eagle, and showing her genitalia.

    So, hypocritical much?

  40. 40
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 17, 2010 at 1:49 am

    Actually, after re-reading this thread, I am going to accept full responsibility here. Matt’s comments were not vulgar so I will apologize for my comments and if they offended anyone I sincerely apologize. Nads, Flipit, Sickofit, anyone else… my bad.
    Matt, sawwy you got put into the naughty corner with me.. no hard feelings, right? :)

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