Madonna Joins Oprah in Her Campaign to Make Sure No African Boy Beats an African Girl at Scrabble Ever Again

Watercooler

By Flipit | Sunday, October 25, 2009 | 9:50 pm | 0 Comments
Posted in: Watercooler

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Madonna arrived in Malawi yesterday afternoon for a groundbreaking ceremony honoring her new school for girls, tentatively named “Oprah Can Suck It Academy”. I disapprove!! Objection!! Why should Opes be the only celebrity making African girls smarter? Because Oprah (most likely) looks at those kids and sees opportunities in them for growth, enlightenment, and success (and a huuuuuge tax shelter, which is always good). Madonna looks at them and sees a giant African baby farm.

She’s gonna black out all the windows of that “school”, get the girls’ asses hospital beds and hook them up to tubes that lead to tiny fed ex boxes that automatically ship to Madge in NY when they’re filled with teenage eggs for her to inject with personal trainer sperm so she can finally build her own child army strong enough in numbers to take over Angelina’s brigade.

Man, Africa. You really shouldn’t have blocked her last adoption. You did this to yourself! Next time Madge flies in demanding a baby in return for a six pack and a few lottery tickets, GIVE IT TO HER! Now you’re going to find that the only children left in your country will be boys. Boys with no schools to attend.

Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

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