MTV Asked The Coreys About How They Feel About Lindsey, Paris, Britney, Etc. Um, Wow.

Who knows better to give advice to Paris, Britney and Lindsey, but the two winy Coreys? MTV sat down with the Original (washed-up) Gangstas of being bad to see what kind of advice they had to give, and believe me, its nothing you haven’t heard before.

Corey Feldman and Corey Haim, who might I add, are mad at each other at the moment (lovers quarrel over The Lost Boys Sequel), both have had their bouts with drugs, the law and being in the spot light. They both say that you have to hit rock bottom in order to pick yourself back up.

Um, no kidding Corey 1 and Corey 2.

Corey Feldman blames society because they’re the ones pointing the finger at the stars. He continued on to say, “Listen up, Brit and LiLo: It’s a moment of startling emotional honesty that not only shocks you to the core but, somewhat paradoxically, also makes you more likely to get help from those around you.”

I say, wise words Feldman, now who fed those lines to you, your amazing publicist?? And, why are you doing this again? Oh yeah, to clean up your image. I’ve heard it all before. Cry me a river.

And, Corey Haim says that he was in rehab for everyone else but himself and that’s why he fell so many times. And, now that he’s clean he’s found high holy heaven it sounds like.

Now, I’m not one to start rumors, but I did hear that Corey Haim is still cracked out of his mind. Is it that the drugs have permanently affected him, or is he back on the rock again? Its like he’s got one foot on the wagon and one foot off, in other words, he’s skateboarding!!!

I really do think it’s really sad to see stars fall, its sad to see anyone fall, but REALLY Coreys are you REALLY going there? Are you guys just not doing all of this publicity to spruce up your own careers again? Do you really care about Paris, Brit, and Linds who each probably make triple your salary?

If you’re given that much money and a paved golden road, then it’s your choice on how you choose to act. You guys screw up and we read about it, that’s the food chain. We love the gossip because it’s not our lives or our misfortune. It gives us a daily soap opera that we read and follow. The funniest thing is when one person cleans up, another one falls. So, Paris is in Germany THIS week doing a philanthropy thing to clean up her image, while Lindsey went to rehab to clean up her image AANNDD is failing her rehab drug tests. You see? It’s a cycle that they put themselves in, and we just wait to hear about it.

A few years ago, I remember working on a show that needed Corey Haim for the project. I was so excited to see Corey Haim because it was my heart throb from “Tiger Beat” and “Bop”. And when I heard that he was selling his old memorabilia from his hair to his teeth on Ebay, I was like no way, that’s the worst/best thing I’ve ever heard! He only wanted $75.00 a tooth and $75.00 for a blot of hair (that no one was bidding on), what’s the difference between him and a bum asking for money on the street? The difference is that I would have given the bum a dollar and I wouldn’t give Corey 50 cents. So, what did I do? I laughed it off, forwarded it to someone else and kept on indulging.

Hey Coreys, Brit, Paris, Lindsey, you’re not a victim of society, you choose to be where you are. Get over yourself and stop complaining. You put yourself there, and without you, there would be no gossip. So please continue in your bad ways, but just don’t get hurt. No one ever likes to see that. And, Corey Haim: don’t be such a bitch and do The Lost Boys Sequel. For God’s sake, you were selling teeth on Ebay, I think your daily SAG rate is a huge pay raise. Even if it is $550.00 a day.

Party on bitches!