MUST WATCH: Kim Zolciak’s New Single: Google Me

16 Comments

1. 1
   tvaholic
   Posted November 23, 2010 at 12:31 pm

   There are just so many things wrong & hilariously disturbing about this, where does one start? The awful wig, the sausage casing of an outfit she’s wearing, the dead-faced performance that protrays the zero stage presence she has? Or maybe how hard she had to concentrate to speak/not-sing with the backing track? And she’ll make money from this 6th-grade-talent-contest of a song. Sigh.

2. 2
   Nads
   Posted November 23, 2010 at 12:33 pm

   I know, i’ve literally watched it 3 times–more for the shear enjoyment of harassing everyone in our office, but every time i watch it, it gets funnier and funnier. what is she doing with her non-singing hand?

3. 3
   classy drunk
   Posted November 23, 2010 at 12:54 pm

   Well Nads, I’d just gotten this song out of my head from Sunday night. Thanks for bringing it back.

4. 4
   tvaholic
   Posted November 23, 2010 at 1:19 pm

   Ok, so I had to watch it again to check out the non-singing hand. There is nothing more lady like then sitting spread-eagled on stage & holding your crotch.

5. 5
   mick
   Posted November 23, 2010 at 1:31 pm

   Holy crap. I’m going to send Kandi some sympathy roses right now.

   Also, my CAPTCHA code is ‘kuap’ which is what I’m hearing pouring out of Kim’s mouth.

6. 6
   Angela Parisi LaRoe
   Posted November 23, 2010 at 1:52 pm

   It looks like she is sitting on a stool that isn’t there and she is about to please herself with that hand. I like how Andy is laughing so hard in the background. He is an awful actor, lol.

   The performance was disturbing but the song isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I don’t think Kandi produced this song but if she did, it might be better.

7. 7
   notwithoutmytv
   Posted November 23, 2010 at 2:09 pm

   Kandi doesn’t need sympathy roses any more than I do for confining my ass to an office chair for 8 hours. She’s fulfilling her Bravo contract by continuing to produce more drek with Kim. If she really had any kind of professional rep, do you think she’d torpedo it with an anti-talented poor man’s Anna Nicole Smith? Wouldn’t she tell KIM all the “tough love” stuff she tells the CAMERA? And then dump her like yesterday’s cheese danish?

8. 8
   sarcasatire
   Posted November 23, 2010 at 3:14 pm

   You gotta love Kim’s timing. She makes her ‘world-wide debut performance’ of Google Me and coincides it with her preggo Life & Style article and for a day and a half, her horrible singing was overshadowed by the fact that she’d spawned. But then after the initial shock that only a gestating zygote can bring, we realized..wait, she sang too! Or rather, she mumbled over a song track. I felt like I’d watched what Ashlee Simpson’s performance would have been like had SNL not cut to commercial.

   @Angela: She was perched on a stool. Because we know things would have gone awry quite quickly had she been forced to two-step and sing at the same time. Kim is many things, but a multitasker she is not.

   I don’t feel bad for Kandi, either. Bravo (and Kim) made her a household name. Kandi has tried many times for a solo career and it just isn’t happening. There is a reason she isn’t signed to a major record label, what with her grammys and all. (Hint: She lacks a bit of the IT factor Simon talks about so much)

9. 9
   Medusa
   Posted November 23, 2010 at 3:15 pm

   Why does Andy Cohen have no Dr. Frankstein-like remorse?

10. 10
    vallegirl
    Posted November 23, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    Because he sold his soul to be an on-air “personality.” Although I think Colicchio occasionally wakes up in a cold sweat and mourning the missed opportunity to strangle Andy when they were all down in PR for the TC finale. He could have used the humidity as an excuse in his insanity defense. Plus, Padma and Gail totally would have backed Tom up and said Andy had it coming.

    I do like how the song rhymes “me” with “me” three times. Because it’s really difficult to rhyme something with “me.”

11. 11
    notwithoutmytv
    Posted November 23, 2010 at 3:54 pm

    Why would Colicchio need to blame the humidity for throttling Andy Cohen? Why would you need to blame it anything? No jury in America would convict you. In fact, the court might quietly take you aside and ask if you could “take care of the Perez Hilton problem.”

12. 12
    Wheres My Coffee?
    Posted November 23, 2010 at 4:46 pm

    Andy Cohen is proof that people shouldn’t drink booze while hosting a live TV show. Kim sounds like a drunk teenager at a karaoke bar.

13. 13
    sarcasatire
    Posted November 23, 2010 at 5:36 pm

    @Where’s my coffee: I love the fact that Andy is boozy during his show. I also like seeing the exact moment when he goes over the edge into drunkedness when he bobbleheads even more and over-exaggerates his eyebrow movements, all while sporting a crooked shit-eating grin. Great TV, I tell you.

    I am, however, confused as to why he always wears blue to match his background? Who told him that was cool?

14. 14
    Wheres My Coffee?
    Posted November 23, 2010 at 6:37 pm

    Heee! You’re right Sarcasatire that you can usually tell the moment when the booze goes to Andy’s head. I’m just wondering why there’s a bust of Rocky Dennis behind him.

15. 15
    Jess Chapman
    Posted November 24, 2010 at 6:31 am

    Are all the deluded reality whores competing with each other for the worst-ever single? She even makes ANGELINA’s song sound good.

16. 16
    tamika
    Posted November 30, 2010 at 10:51 am

    WHATTTTT. A hot damn messs………….UUGGGGHHH!!!!