This Makes Perfect Sense!

So, if you’re like me, you’ve been seeing all these promos for the new William Shatner hosted game show, Show Me The Money. Yes, it looks intriguing (read: terrible), but I couldn’t help wondering: how the hell does it work? Well, luckily, ABC.com has posted the rules, and they are completely, totally… incomprehensible. Just imagine the worst sort of Deal or No Deal rip-off, add scroll-bearing dancers, insert menial trivia, throw it all into a blender, and voila! A horrendous-looking game show!

And in case you don’t believe me, we’ve got all the rules of the game after the jump. Good luck trying to decipher them…

Game play begins with the contestant getting a "header," a phrase or word that acts as the title for the question. They are given the choice of A, B or C. When they choose a letter, a question is revealed, with the header as the beginning of the question. For example, if the header is, "If you're walking…" and the player chooses C, the question, "If you're walking…into Bijan, one of the priciest stores in the world, what drive in Beverly Hills are you on?" would be revealed. If they are unhappy with their choice, they can pass and see one of the other two letters remaining. If they are still unhappy with their next question, they can pass again, however they can never go back to a question they have passed on. If they have passed twice they must answer the third and final question.

Once the player has locked in an answer, they must find out how much that answer is worth. Each of the 13 dancers is holding a scroll. 12 of the 13 scrolls contain dollar amounts, ranging from $20,000 to $250,000. If the player's answer is correct, the dollar amount is added to their pot and they use one of their six plus signs on the gameboard. If they are wrong, it is subtracted and they use one of their six minus signs. The game is completed when the player completes a full row of either six plusses or six minuses. At this point the player takes home the current money they hold in their pot. The game can also end if the player is so far in the red it is impossible for them to accumulate enough correct answers and high dollar amounts to get back into positive figures.

The 13th dancer is holding the "killer card." If the contestant answers the question right and pulls the killer card, nothing happens and they have escaped. No plusses or minuses are used, and no money is added or subtracted. However, if they are wrong and pull the killer card, they go into "sudden death." They are asked one question with no choices or passes. If that is answered correctly, they survive sudden death and go back to the game; no plusses or minuses are used and no money is added or subtracted. If they answer the sudden death question wrong, they leave the game immediately with nothing.