Stop It With Jessica!

Watercooler

By Nads | Friday, January 30, 2009 | 3:47 am | 11 Comments
Posted in: Watercooler

Jesssimpsonfatty

I love Hot Dogs



I was stuck in bed all day yesterday, and as I was flipping through the channels, I couldn’t help but notice that EVERY show on television was been talking about Jessica Simpson’s weight gain. I have one thing to say: STOP IT. Yes, she’s gotten bigger, but not Monica in a fat suit big, so let the girl be!

I’m sure she’s fully aware that she can’t fit into her skinny jeans anymore, so she had to wear something that covered up her back fat…and when you push something in (i.e. back fat), something else is bound to pop out (arm fat, belly fat, and boobs). Plus, she’s been on tour at county fairs across the country…do you blame her for gaining weight? All they serve are Hot Dog On A Stick and funnel cakes…have you had those two items? They’re amazing!

Jess here’s some advice: Until Tony Romo mistakes your butt for a shelf, I say eat it all and enjoy life…just don’t forget to stick your finger down your throat afterward.

About

Although comedy is her profession, Nadine has accomplished a lot in her young age. She is a national champion black belt, a world-class soccer player, and an avid snowboarder. She started playing soccer at the age of 4, and continued playing through college where she majored in Biology, but quickly realized her destiny was to tell jokes, not to wear a lab coat. So she decided to be funny while finishing her Bachelors Degree in biology and continued on to get her M.B.A. Nadine’s comedy style is much like her athleticism, fearless. She’s made her way up the comedy ladder very quickly, and has become a club favorite at many of the country’s top comedy clubs, including the Improv chain. Performing in the Boston Comedy Festival and being noted as the “one of the youngest and brightest up and comers” and traveling to the Middle East to entertain the troops are just a few of her notable accomplishments. These days Nadine splits time between the stage, a radio studio, her computer blogging, and a television studio. Nadine’s TV, Radio, Writing credits include: national commercials, talking head roles on E! Entertainment, Showtime’s Hot Tamales Live, The Skinny: Fat Free News, The Sunny Side of The Truth: Real World Hollywood, TVgasm, Zazreport, Daddy’s Girls, Jerseylicious, celebrity interviews on Mania TV, a weekly half-hour television show that syndicates to colleges across the country for National Lampoon and a nightly radio show on XM Satellite Radio.

11 Comments

  1. 1
    JasonR
    Posted January 30, 2009 at 8:37 am

    Nads, I do feel a little bad for JS because I’m sure this is humiliating, but on the other hand Jessica is at this point only famous for how she looks. She long ago became a “personality” who also occasionally sings rather than being famous for being a singer. When your whole career is based on your looks, I’m sorry but when you pork up it should be fair game for people/the media to comment on it. She wasn’t complaining when she got all skinny to play Daisy Duke and was on the cover of every magazine talking about her workout plan, diet, etc. So why is her appearance now off limits? Now if a celeb is actually famous for their talent and hasn’t make their looks a public issue, I’d agree the media should lay off. For example, you don’t hear anyone talking about Aretha Franklin’s weight or whether Meryl Streep looks like she’s put on a few.

  2. 2
    Nads
    Posted January 30, 2009 at 9:53 am

    Jason: I fully agree with you on this one. You’re completely right! I was just SOOO sick of everyone claiming it was “breaking news”.

    When I first saw the picture I was like…”OH no! Jess got FAT!” But, I certainly didn’t think her weight was breaking news.

    You know what would have been genius? If she gained weight on purpose to get back into the spotlight. But, then again…she’s not that smart.

  3. 3
    JasonR
    Posted January 30, 2009 at 11:28 am

    LOL Nads . . it worked for Kirstie Alley!

  4. 4
    Nads
    Posted January 30, 2009 at 11:46 am

    haha, I LOVED Fat Actress!!! I wish it got a second season…that show was brilliant

  5. 5
    spacevenus
    Posted January 30, 2009 at 1:08 pm

    First of all, I’m amazed that people care about Jessica Simpson.
    Second of all, she’s not by any means fat, she’s just bigger than she used to be. She’s probably size 6 or 8.

  6. 6
    cattyfan
    Posted January 30, 2009 at 2:07 pm

    Gotta agree with Spacevenus. JS is by no means fat…the outfir is just ugly.

    Maybe people should be more concerned about the endless parade of anorexics held up as the ideal (Nicole Richie…Keira Knightly…Misha Barton…and dozens of others.)

  7. 7
    TinkerbellAPixie
    Posted January 30, 2009 at 2:47 pm

    I agree she’s not heavy, but her outfit is awful. So I guess the breaking news would be: Jessica Simpson needs a new stylist!!

  8. 8
    pixielated
    Posted January 30, 2009 at 9:25 pm

    It just disgusts me that when someone like Jessica Simpson, Kirstie Alley, or Jennifer Love Hewitt gains weight it’s treated like they have a drug habit or are sex addicts or something. Actually, the stars that have confessed to being sex addicts get less press/vituperation than a woman who dares to be “fat.”

    If Marilyn Monroe were around today, they’d eat her alive and spit her out. She wouldn’t have lasted to 37 or whatever. As soon as she packed on a few pounds, everyone would have jumped all over her and that would have been that.

    And the skinny girls: leave them alone, too. Some folks are just THIN (I’m one). And if they are anorexic or bulimic, they have a serious medical issue that is not helped by being called names and pilloried. It’s like, now women have to be “just right,” not too thin, not too fat. I do agree that thin women shouldn’t necessarily be held up as the ideal of beauty, as few people can be that thin without extreme measures.

    Enjoy those funnel cakes and have fun, Jessica. And get a new stylist who doesnt just dress thin girls.

  9. 9
    pixielated
    Posted January 30, 2009 at 9:27 pm

    I was looking at those jeans, and they might be cowgirl jeans, like Wrangler Silverlake (I think that’s what they’re called). They tend to be high waisted because of the position you’re in when you ride a horse–otherwise they’d ride down too far. They also have no back pockets.

  10. 10
    diti
    Posted January 31, 2009 at 5:11 am

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  11. 11
    serjen
    Posted February 2, 2009 at 7:00 am

    Believe me, she’ll be a toothpick again in a month after all this ‘humiliation’. And then we wonder why young celebrities all look anorexic. I would too if every pound i gained was under constant scrutiny.

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