The Girl Scout Research Institute Thinks Reality TV Will Make You A Mean Girl

11 Comments

1. 1
   Fan-Ann
   Posted October 13, 2011 at 5:43 pm

   Unfortunately I agree with this premise, but there is also the influence of Facebook, mean texting etc to further confuse young girls about how to handle themselves and their social lives. As the mother of sons I try to teach them values that they often find quaint considering what media exposes them to, and how girls their ages act. So when I tell them to act respectfully and protectively towards girls they sometimes give me very specific negative examples of girls acting outrageously. My oldest even brought his cell to show me the first time he was sexted and I stuttered my way through telling him to delete it, never forward anything like that etc. ( I have known this girl since she was in kindergarten) So, I love reality shows, but they can make the outrageous seem accepted and entertaining, until your child is affected. I told my son that he didn’t have to respect that girl, but that he did have to be polite. Some day I hope he will have compassion for her, but right now he is just painfully embarrassed.

2. 2
   Robinez
   Posted October 13, 2011 at 7:14 pm

   Your stuttering aside, Fan-Ann, I think it is pretty darn cool that your kid is so open with you.

3. 3
   Fan-Ann
   Posted October 13, 2011 at 8:22 pm

   Thanks Robin. He was just 13 and I don’t know which of us was more shocked.

4. 4
   kthxbai
   Posted October 13, 2011 at 9:24 pm

   So before reality shows teenage girls didn’t gossip and have drama and obsess over their appearance and compete for boys?

5. 5
   Fan-Ann
   Posted October 13, 2011 at 9:46 pm

   Sure they did. But texting, sexting, facebook, and even shows like The Bachelor change perceptions of what constitutes dating or a relationship. Throw in Jersey Shore and stir well. I’m mainly talking about kids who are just discovering their sexuality; my son was 13 when a 15 year old texted him a nude photo. Before sexting, girls did not, to my knowledge, carry around nude photos to hand out. Same goes for guys texting pics of their genitals a la Anthony Weiner. The distance involved in texting implied that it was not only safe, but witty and sexy. Not only that, but it is illegal to possess a nude pic of an underage kid, and if you forward it, that is dissemination of child pornography. That’s a world away from boy crazy girls competing for the cute guys and having drama over their crushs.

6. 6
   kthxbai
   Posted October 14, 2011 at 3:11 am

   I totally get what you’re saying. Like a long time ago it would be if a boy saw their ankle and they’d wear those corset things and all those clothes that made them fall out and today it’s sending a nude pic and fake boobs.

   I’m just counting it as different things. The girls didn’t change. What changed is what they can get.

7. 7
   Fan-Ann
   Posted October 14, 2011 at 8:06 am

   I need to add that boys are also confused by the mixed messages they see in the media. They can also become victims, and that “mean girl” can also be a “mean boy”. We are all aware of tragedies where gay teens were drawn to a location by texts from supposed friends. Once there, hazing and humiliation. Or, when teens come out and they need acceptance and assisstace, it might not be found in their own homes.
   they

   One boy who I had car-pooled for years fled to our house after coming out to his parents, who threw him out of of the house and cut all communication.. All of our children can be victims of cyber-bullying, and as parents or
   caring neighbors we try to be proactive.A lot of us on here have children, or maybe
   plan to,or maybe have beloved nieces and nephews, or know of neighborhood kids who might be in crisis.

8. 8
   Fan-Ann
   Posted October 14, 2011 at 8:47 am

   Sorry that is so chopped up. My point is, we have to teach our children not only morals and ethics, but how to stay safe. We need to keep up with the technology that teens and pre-teens are using to protect them from dangerous choices. Reputations can be ruined: she’s a slut, he’s a user. Often not true but written by an ex or a group of
   “friend’s” pulling a prank
   My husband is involved in one of the largest cases ever involving the Internet. Topix websites have sprung up all over the country mostly in rural areas. They were intended as virtual community bulletin boards but quickly devolved into gossip boards
   where people tried to settle old scores and grievances, or maybe just decided to ruin
   an individual’s reputation or business. Signing on with multiples of user names, campaigns have been run that are absolute slander. People’s lives ruined while a
   commenter hid behind a user name, citing their right to free speech. But the courts are
   now holding that the type of anonymous free speech afforded by the internet
   oversteps boundaries when it has real life serious consequences to families,
   reputations, livelihoods. Topix has now had to reveal(by judicial order) the identity of some of these users,in the most egregious cases. For instance: if I went on a community board and was pissed because my son’s coach didn’t play him enough…I could go on Topix and wage a campaign against the man claiming that he was a well
   known rapist, drug dealer, and pedophile, all lies. THIS HAS HAPPENED! Good people have been hurt. The children of the parents waging these campaigns follow the lead and target kids they don’t like, or to try to force a coach to play your kid, give your daughter the starring role in the school play. And pretty soon an entire
   community is torn apart by innuendo and lies. Major lawsuits are being fought right now over this, and freedom of speech advocates are backing the plaintiffs. Sorry…major soapbox here. But I have read some of the court transcripts, and the way these community bulletin boards have been subverted into a weapon to attack with impunity and ruin people is frightening. Back to the way this thread began…..they don’t hesitate to insult, hurt, and demean kids on these things. All these yahoos assumed that no one would ever know they wrote the words that sent a young girl into a depression, or caused a boy to commit suicide. End of rant.

9. 9
   hot cawfee
   Posted October 14, 2011 at 10:06 am

   Fan-ann– you rock !!!!! How cool your son can be open with you. And yes– teach him compassion for the girl who doesn’t respect herself.
   Parents need to be involved and crack the whip when necessary. Its how I was raised and tho I grew up within the confines of parochial school ( 12 years), don’t think I didn’t test boundaries and get smacked back in line. It was the 70′s and the drinking age was 18 and in NY we had no pictire drivers’ licenses. If they proofed young girls, it was a rare occasion. My girl friends and I made it to many a happy hour in our Catholic School uniforms. And yes many older men bought us drinks knowing what school we attended. We had no idea how dangerous it was. There was no social media at all— computers were in their infancy (think Revenge of the Nerds). We made it home in one piece, fairly sober and did well in school. No one told on us and we kept ourselves in control.
   Maybe it was b/c none of us were in a hurry to grow up and being Kim Alexis or Cheryl Teigs was so far out of our realm that we were content to be teenagers and happily be placed back into the boundaries set after we stepped over them for a taste of freedom.

10. 10
    Gypsy
    Posted October 14, 2011 at 12:23 pm

    Fan-Ann, I just came across this now… for so many reasons I want to say thank you for posting what you have and for fighting the good fight. I applaude you!

11. 11
    Erriac
    Posted November 7, 2011 at 6:05 am

    Wretched & salacious! I usually keep these opinions to myself because so many people love these shows….but what is the draw? Shock value….jaw dropping astonishment at BAD behavior…and these people make SO MUCH money doing it? Why would anyone bother to get an education and make a contribution to society (with or without an education)? It’s easier and better pay to be scandalous and nasty. It says so much about our society that these shows are so popular, I hate to sound so judgemental….In my day, Dallas came on at 10PM, not 8PM prime time, and running all day long on some other network. It’s bad stuff … Snookie? Really? Kim Kardashian? (7 mil profit for less than 3 months of marriage) Really? Then her mother making cracks about returning the engagement ring, i.e. “Who likes an indian-giver?” (how PC was that?!?! I’m not an indian, but still think she needs a little talking to!) Just say “NO to the wretchedness” (Thanks for the forum to share my opinion)