The Government Gets Off Its Ass and Tells Ads to STFU

Watercooler

By Flipit | Thursday, December 13, 2012 | 8:00 am | 13 Comments
Posted in: Watercooler

Screen Shot 2012-12-12 At 11.56.10 Pm

With all the talk of new toll roads, higher taxes and energy bills, and city office furloughs, it’s nice to hear that our government is doing something that doesn’t SUCK. They’re telling commercials to STFU!

As of today, the CALM act is in effect. This stands for Commercial Advertisement Loudness Mitigation, and it’s meant to quiet the C**ty Ass Loud Mouths. Commercials are no longer allowed to blast louder than the show you’re watching.

I know I bitch about you every day, Government! I blame you for price increases at Starbucks, rainy days and weight gain, so I’d like to set aside an entire Watercooler article today to say THANK YOU!!!

Now if you can suck this little the other 364 days of the year.

LOVE,

Flip

Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

13 Comments

  1. 1
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 8:40 am

    Here’s proof I’ve been thinking about the RHBH Mystery way too much.

    I read it as Ad as in Adrienne Maloof. (just didn’t even see the s)

    Thinking maybe they sent her a cyst and decease to quit suing people every other day so they can keep the courts free for Lindsay Lohan.

  2. 2
    Jane and Blanche Jane and Blanche
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 8:47 am

    kthxbai- I thought he was talking about Maloof too! I thought, “Which senator is Brandi blowing?”

  3. 3
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 9:27 am

    Oh Happy Friggan day I have been waiting for this since they signed it into law. Thank you for posting this Flip!

    (I too thought this was about the Hoof, btw)

  4. 4
    labowner
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 9:31 am

    Yes because hitting the mute button is so inconvenient. More nanny state legislation.

  5. 5
    Trenti
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 9:59 am

    Hallelujah! Nothing worse than stepping away from the TV and coming back into the room and the volume is on BLAST. It’s even worse when they resurrect Billy Mayes’ voice and he’s shouting at you from the dead. Very happy the government has done something helpful.

  6. 6
    NotWithoutMyTV NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 10:38 am

    The loudness problem the CALM Act is supposed to solve is near and dear to all of our Congressmen (and Congresswimin), who are all essentially slightly different versions of Eugene Levy (Ferret-faced, hopelessly-out-of-touch, awkward old fuckbags in dated business wear). Those loud commercials really fuck with their hearing aids. Makes them whistle like the dickens, don’t you know.

    Now if they could pass legislation that makes parroting the phrase “so-called ‘fiscal cliff’” a crime punishable by death, I’d really be… slightly less disgusted with the whole lot of them.

  7. 7
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 10:55 am

    Yes Buck Becky Quick and Sorkin are going to GET THE ANSWERS, NWMTV. Have no fear.

  8. 8
    Val Detinha
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 11:16 am

    Good! With small drink and low sodium snacks! Now can we get INTO the fiscal cliff, please?! ;)

  9. 9
    chooch850 chooch850
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    Yes Flipit, but isn’t it true that the commercial can only be as loud as he loudest point in the show you are watching? So if there is a huge LOUD explosion in the show, then the advertisement can be that loud the whole time it airs.

  10. 10
    crazy rooster
    Posted December 15, 2012 at 12:06 pm

    Can we get rid of daylight savings time next? Then we can see the so called fiscal cliff before we plummet like lemmings (sorry nwmtv)

  11. 11
    itchy itchy
    Posted December 16, 2012 at 1:32 am

    Commercials? What are commercials? Haven’t seen one in years :-)

  12. 12
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 7:50 am

    Ditto. Don’t watch any commercials if I can help it…..even the opening crap on Project Runway and Top Chef.

  13. 13
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 8:22 am

    The fiscal Cliff can go to hell for all I care….

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