This Weekend’s Top 10 Shows

Watercooler

By Flipit | | 3:00 pm | 15 Comments

On this day in 1945, “Il Duce,” Benito Mussolini, and his mistress, Clara Petacci, are shot by Italian partisans. I have a feeling this bit of history will spill over into this week’s Housewives of Jersey episode. I worry for Teresa’s safety.

Screen Shot 2012-04-28 At 2.59.54 Pm
Bravo’s version of Mussolini

The Blind Side (Sat, ABC, 8 PM) A well-to-do white family takes in a homeless black teen and helps him realize his potential on and off the football field.

The Green Mile: Family Edition. I like to this of this movie as the one Sandra Bullock won a revenge Oscar after her slimy husband gave her herpes.

NASCAR Racing (Sat, FOX, 8 PM) From Richmond International Raceway in Richmond, Va.

Wal-Mart will be closing early.

Screen Shot 2012-04-28 At 3.01.59 Pm

Cats 101 (Sat, Animal Planet, 8 PM) A cat co-hosts a radio talk show.

Caroline Manzo opened the door to furry faced no talents getting on the radio for no reason. Blame her.

Once Upon a Time (Sun, ABC, 8 PM) Regina tries to seduce David.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!

Screen Shot 2012-04-28 At 3.03.51 Pm

Desperate Housewives (Sun, ABC, 9 PM) Susan tries to build a car for M.J.’s soapbox derby.

And he tries to run her over with it, proving that even innocent children paid good money to be around her can’t stand her stupid ass. Desperate Housewives, PLEASE stop limping!! You’re almost done! MAKE AN EFFORT!

The Celebrity Apprentice (Sun, NBC, 9 PM) Celebrities are asked to write and perform a jingle.

Deborah Gibson will be at home throwing stuff at her TV. She missed her challenge. She’s an AAAARTISSSSST!

Mad Men (Sun, AMC, 10 PM) Don, Roger and Pete try to drum up new business.

I say forget all these stupid plots and just make every episode about Pete getting beat up and Peggy giving hand jobs. Thank you.

The Killing (Sun, AMC, 9 PM) Sarah looks into the Larsen family secret.

Spoiler Alert!: Another week where we don’t find out who killed the brat.

Real Housewives of New Jersey (Sun, Bravo, 10 PM) Teresa’s attempt at an apology turns into a violent brawl. Told ya!

YAY!! Melissa is scheduled to attempt singing again, so hopefully she gets hit by the table first.

Rocky 3 (Sun, CMT, 9 PM) Old foe Apollo Creed trains ex-boxing champ Rocky Balboa for a rematch with brutish Clubber Lang.

After Housewives, these guys all look like pussies.

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Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

15 Comments

  1. 1
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted April 28, 2012 at 3:22 pm

    My eyes! My eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. 2
    SuburBint
    Posted April 28, 2012 at 3:32 pm

    Silly Flipit, WalMart never closes. Not even for NASCAR.

    Thanks for covering! I’m going to go lie down again.

    <3,

    SuburBint

  3. 3
    Posted April 28, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    HA! it’s saturday night. the least i could do is try to turn you on!

  4. 4
    Posted April 28, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    my poor babeh!! get some rest love

  5. 5
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted April 28, 2012 at 3:46 pm

    Define “turn me on.”

  6. 6
    Posted April 28, 2012 at 3:59 pm

    We’re u tempted to let your butt crack show in public?

  7. 7
    Chicken Lips
    Posted April 28, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    Why do you think Walmart would close? Everyone goes to watch it in the electronics department. Left hand turns are much more exciting on a 64 in HD TV you know. Plus, at my Walmart electronics is right by furniture so there is plenty of seating.

  8. 8
    Posted April 28, 2012 at 4:58 pm

    Lol! Well I guess it’s been too long since I have spent quality time at a wal mart! I miss wal mart! They don’t have one in la, but I get my ass there when I visit Texas. And cracker barrel. I don’t know why I’m still typing.

  9. 9
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted April 28, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    I don’t like this one little bit and I think I can count on Mr. Dangerous to back me up. The premiere of a new show on A&E tonight, starring the Greatest Survivor of All Time™. Mr. Russell Hantz, doesn’t even get a mention? It’s called Flipped Off and it promises to be the biggest show of the year for all of Russell’s millions of fans,

  10. 10
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted April 28, 2012 at 5:51 pm

    Now there’s a sight nobody needs to see, Flip. It’s why I could never be a plumber. That and no skills whatsoever.

  11. 11
    Posted April 28, 2012 at 6:40 pm

    Sorry cranky! I saw that and figured it must be another house flipping show!! Sat nights on A&E. Hantz has really hit the big time.

  12. 12
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted April 29, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    Cranky guy:

    Thanks for the Russell Hantz shout out.

    Flipit:

    If you had any Klass you would know there is a WALMART between Monrovia and Irwindale. Take the 210 and go east from Pasadena. It will only take you about 10 minutes to get there. That’s where I go to shop when I need some eye candy.

  13. 13
    Posted April 29, 2012 at 1:45 pm

    Thank you!!! I’m going! Wearing the perfect thong.

  14. 14
    CynTV CynTV
    Posted April 29, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    What – no Rodeo Drive Walmart? I’m stunned!

  15. 15
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted April 29, 2012 at 6:12 pm

    HaH! Perfect thong indeed. Talk about an oxymoron (we were, weren’t we?).

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