Friday, June 8
Joan Rivers turns 79 today. In another 100 years, she will look like this:
Wild Wild West (VH1 6:30pm) Secret agent James T. West and his partner fight evil inventor Dr. Loveless who plans to assassinate President Grant.
I actually saw this in the theater. On purpose. Twice.
House (Fox 8pm) An Alzheimer’s patient participating in a drug trial suffers from a violent temper; Wilson treats a patient who claims to be in a chaste marriage.
Chaste doesn’t equal celibate, show-description-writers. Buy a dictionary.
Sahara (AMC 8pm) A treasure hunter and his sidekick join forces with a doctor to search for a Confederate ship in Africa. Based on the novel by Clive Cussler.
Filmmaker Phil Joanou shows the Irish rock band on tour, in Harlem, at Elvis Presley’s mansion and in concert, mostly in black and white.Steve Zahn is my imaginary sidekick when I pretend Indiana Jones-esque adventures, too.
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (ABC Family 9pm) A poor boy and his grandfather win a tour through the marvelous factory of a wily confectioner.
Celebrate the current filming of Jersey Shore and get ready for the premiere of Snooki and JWoww Take Over the World or whatever it’s called by watching the original orange Oompa Loompas in action.
The Wedding Planner (Bravo 9pm) A lonely organizer falls for an engaged pediatrician while coordinating his wedding and reception.
It’s a Matthew McConaughey-palooza up in the cable networks tonight. I just hope that doesn’t mean somebody’s airing Contact.
Brooklyn’s Finest (Spike TV 9pm) A massive drug operation changes the lives of three conflicted police officers in one of New York’s most-violent precincts.
Yeah, you’ve gotta watch those hipsters. I’ve heard stories about them raising their voices and throwing lattes.
Rattle and Hum (VH1 Classic 9pm) Filmmaker Phil Joanou shows the Irish rock band on tour, in Harlem, at Elvis Presley’s mansion and in concert, mostly in black and white.
Remember when Bono didn’t think he was God and people actually believed that U2′s music could change the world?
Aziz Ansari: Dangerously Delicious (Comedy Central 9:58pm) Aziz talks about the troubles he faces while picking up girls in a stand up routine.
9:58 pm, you guys. Not 10pm. 9:58.
Born Schizophrenic: Jani’s Next Chapter (Discovery Family Health 10pm) Jani has seen great improvements and some setbacks, but now her parent’s attention turns toward her brother, Bodhi.
Some are born schizophrenic, some achieve schizophrenia, and others have schizophrenia thrust upon them.
Thank You for Smoking (The Sundance Channel 10pm) A lobbyist for big tobacco finds it difficult to balance his duties defending a dangerous substance with those of being a good role model for his young son. Based on the book by Christopher Buckley.
What will you be watching tonight?
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