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Monday, April 2
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Dancing With the Stars (ABC 8pm) The couples perform meaningful dances using a style of their choosing.
Isn’t it a bit early in the season to start playing sob stories? They’re all going to be doing waltzes and crap to honor their brother’s girlfriend’s babysitter’s triumph over problem hangnails and crap like that. I would do the twist scene from Pulp Fiction, because it is full of meaning for me — and that meaning is, how awesome is Quentin Tarnatino?!
The Voice (NBC 8pm) Vocalists from two teams compete against each other.
Blake – “Look, there goes my career!” Cee Lo – “Look, there go some boobies!” Christina – “This is as far as my face will move now, and that’s not a peace sign, I was trying to give that miniature bald horn-dog bunny ears.” Adam – “You! Call my agent now and get me out of this!”
Bones (Fox 8pm) When the remains of an escaped convict are found in the sewer, the investigation reveals the man died in prison; Brennan gives birth in unconventional circumstances.
Just when I thought this show might actually survive a Booth/Brennan romance and surprise baby, they pull out Scripted TV Show Cliche #42 – Always have your main character give birth in “unconventional circumstances.” I thought you respected me more than that, Bones.
The Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABC Family 8pm) Episode: Defiance — Amy decides to attend summer school instead of going to work.
What a rebel!
2012 NCAA Basketball Tournament (CBS 9pm) Finals: Kansas vs. Kentucky: From the Mercedes-Benz Superdome in New Orleans.
Since Hurricane Katrina, over $500 million dollars have been spent on repairing and remodeling the Superdome. Because of all of the places in the state of Louisiana after August 2005, that was clearly the best place to spend that kind of money. And this is (one of the many reasons) why I hate professional sports.
House (Fox 9pm) The team treats an Army veteran who refuses treatment unless he and his brother are given information about their dead father; Adams seeks help when she suspects House is sick.
If this season ends with House dying… I wouldn’t really care at all.
Styled by June (VH1 9:30pm) Aubrey O’Day wants a transformation.
Castle (ABC 10pm) An attractive detective from Scotland Yard (Brett Tucker) teams up with Castle and Beckett to investigate the murder of his friend’s daughter; Lanie tries to talk Beckett into making a move on Castle.
I love this show, but I say we all band together, kidnap Nathan Fillion, Neil Patrick Harris, and Joss Whedon, lock ‘em in a studio somewhere and not let them out until they’ve made a sequel to Dr. Horrible. Who’s with me?
Smash (NBC 10pm) Julia and Tom must find a title for the recently reinvigorated musical; Ivy and Karen compete for an orange juice commercial; Frank makes a discovery.
I hope he found his balls.
Bethenny Ever After (Bravo 10pm) Bethenny can’t escape the scandals that come with making more money so she addresses the rumors head on with TV appearances.
What will you be watching tonight?