Monday, April 30
Fifteen years ago today, Ellen DeGeneres’s fictional counterpart, Ellen Morgan came out to her crush (and, accidentally, an entire airport full of people.) Not since Murphy Brown became a single parent had the world experienced so much simultaneous pearl-clutching.
Dancing With the Stars (ABC 8pm) The remaining couples perform; Joshua Bell, Jackie Evancho and Vittorio Grigolo perform.
And once again, I have never heard of any of the guest performers.
The Voice (NBC 8pm) Eight vocalists compete; Blake performs his new single; the teams perform two songs together.
Adam Levine’s ADHD commercial plays three times during every commercial break.
Bones (Fox 8pm) When a corpse is discovered in the woods, the team considers two families involved in a nearly century-long feud.
Those Hatfields and McCoys are up to their crazy shenanigans again!
2 1/2 Men (CBS 9pm) When Alan has a heart attack, Charlie’s ghost (Kathy Bates) visits him.
Kathy Bates. Why?
House (Fox 9pm) When the team treats a 6-year-old with multiple health issues, they must collaborate with her mother (Jessica Collins), who is also a doctor. Wilson and House go on vacation.
Because every time they’ve ever gone out of town together, things have gone so well.
Eureka (SyFy 9pm) The ship is found but the crew has been taken; help arrives by an unexpected and dangerous visitor.
I suppose this is too much to hope for. *
Bethenny Ever After (Bravo 10pm) A long vacation and a second horrible trip on a boat forces Bethenny and Jason to hash things out and confront some fears.
‘Bout damn time.
Ridiculousness (MTV 10pm) Premiere — Episode: Justin Bieber
That sums it up, I think.
Training for the Apocalypse (National Geographic Channel 10pm) A chronicle of the journeys of survivalists, truth-seekers and prophets as they prepare for the global cataclysms they fear are coming.
“So say the zombies are approaching in a slow lurch formation to the front. Now, the six of us with the machetes will engage them in battle while those of you who are carrying the submachine guns will flank us on the sides and… Barry! Quit texting and pay attention! This is your life we’re talking about here, soldier!”
Bad Girls Club: Las Vegas (Oxygen 10pm) Reunion: Part 1 — The season 8 cast reunites to rehash what happened in Vegas.
Unless they start throwing punches, there’s really no reason why this should require multiple episodes.
What will you be watching tonight?
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* Yes, I am well aware that Matt Smith is now playing the Doctor, but David Tennant is my favorite, and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, but you’re really just going to have to suck it.