Tonight’s Top 10 Shows: Monday, August 13

Monday, August 13

On this date in 1964, the last two criminals to be executed in Great Britain were hanged. Gwynne Evans and Peter Allan were convicted of the April 7, 1964, murder of a 53 year-old laundry van driver, and hanged a mere four months later. Whatever your views on capitol punishment, that’s pretty damned efficient.

Bachelor Pad (ABC 8pm) The contestants ask each other personal questions.

“How many times have you successfully beaten gonorrhea?”

Stars Earn Stripes (NBC 8pm) Premiere: Teams compete in a complicated mission in hope of advancing to the next round.

Dean Cain and his super-manly scarf want you to watch.

Hotel Hell (Fox 8pm) Premiere: Ramsay travels to the Juniper Hill Inn in Windsor, Vt., a place that’s beauty is undermined by the smell of raw sewage and the owner’s poor treatment of the staff.

One thing to be said for Kitchen Nightmares — at least Gordon has no reason to use a black light when he’s renovating restaurants.

Intervention (A & E 9pm) Premiere: An alcoholic woman battles tremors from her severe addiction as she tries to overcome a painful family betrayal.

The first earthquake addict ever featured on this show.

United Bates of America (TLC 9pm) Premiere: Gil and Kelly Jo welcome baby number 19; celebrating Valentine’s Day Bates-style.

I’m pretty sure we all know how Ma & Pa Bates like to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Also Easter, Christmas, the Fourth of July, and Thursday.

Grimm (NBC 10pm) Premiere: Nick tries to come to grips with the return of his mother; Monroe is determined to awaken Juliette from her mysterious coma; Hank struggles with the shocking truths he has recently learned.

Five words: Mary. Elizabeth. Mastrantonio. Hell. Yes.

Gallery Girls (Bravo 10pm) Premiere: Kerri lands an art internship; Chantal and Claudia prepare to open their own gallery; Amy has too much to drink at an after-party and makes the ladies uncomfortable.

And here I thought it was eating that made those art gallery women uncomfortable.

Can’t imagine where I got that idea.

Teen Wolf (MTV 10pm) Finale: Scott and his friends try to discover Gerard’s master plan; Derek intends to use his own methods for a takedown.

I miss Buffy, you guys.

Major Crimes (TNT 10:06pm) Premiere: Capt. Sharon Raydor is appointed the head of Major Crimes; a string of grocery store robberies turns fatal; Detective Amy Sykes is transferred to Major Crimes; Raydor tries to protect Rusty.

Doesn’t start at 10:05. Doesn’t start at 10:07. Set those DVRs for 10:06.

Get to Work (Sundance 10:30pm) Premiere: Career criminal Bobby must face responsibility; Adam has a choice, graduate or go to jail; former addict Angela learns to be a team player.

Show description: “A fresh approach is used to help the chronic unemployed become employable.” I’m pretty sure you’d be hard pressed to find some unemployable chronic, if you know what I mean (and I know that you do.)

What will you be watching tonight?