Tonight’s Top 10 Shows: Monday, August 27

Watercooler

By SuburBint | Monday, August 27, 2012 | 11:32 am | 14 Comments
Posted in: Tonight's Top 10 Shows, Watercooler

Monday, August 27

On this date in 410, the sacking of Rome by the Visigoths ended, largely because the Romans had barricaded themselves inside the city before the Visigoths broke through that they were all too weak to fight back. Also, sending the majority of their military to conquer far off places left the homeland a wee bit indefensible. Silly Romans.

Bachelor Pad (ABC 8pm) The contestants compete in a spelling bee; one-on-one dates include a barn hoedown and a day exploring the Channel Islands; an escalating house rivalry leads to a surprising elimination.

“The word is ‘Syphilis.’ Blakely, you’re up first.” “‘Syphilis.’” S. I.” “BEEP!” *Blakely sits down* “Mike, you’re next.” *Mike approaches with a cocky gleam in his eye* “‘Syphilis.’ S. Y. F.” BEEP!” *Mike is outraged* “What the hell? Syphilis totally has a Y in it!” *Chris Harrison sighs quietly, and thinks longingly about the fifth of whiskey he has stashed in his trailer* “Let’s make this easier on everyone. The word is ‘Clap.’ As in, ‘After I leave the Bachelor Pad, I should go get a prescription for antibiotics in order to treat the Clap.” *Contestants cheer and high-five one another*

Hotel Hell (Fox 8pm) Ramsay visits The Keating Hotel in San Diego in hope of helping the owner turn the business around.

Wait, so the purpose of this show is to improve the hotels’ and make the worthy of staying in? The Keating Hotel is still making my list of Places to Never, Ever, Ever Stay While on Vacation.

The Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABC Family 8pm) Jack remains in the hospital; Ricky discusses the wedding with George.

If I wanted to watch a show about wedding planning, I would spend my afternoons watching reruns of Say Yes to the Dress on TLC.

Love & Hip Hop in Atlanta (VH1 8pm) The cast discusses fights and triumphs.

There, Derek Hazelton! Better late than never.

Stars Earn Stripes (NBC 9pm) The celebrities must retrieve a patrol vehicle that is brought in by air and take out enemy targets; two celebrities face off in a final shootout round.

Luckily, Jessica Fletcher just happened to be visiting the set when it was discovered that one contestant’s gun had been loaded with live ammunition, and his opponent was tragically and unexpectedly killed. But who could have swapped out the bullets? Join us in 1985 for the answer.

“Is that a joke at my expense? After all the murders I’ve seen, you do not want to cross me. Also, two words: Sweeney Todd.”

Hell’s Kitchen (Fox 9pm) During the dinner service, each contestant gets a chance to direct the others.

This is the episode where Gordon yells at people for not yelling at people. Chefs Scott and Andi will sabotage various dishes going to the pass just like they always to, and the contestants will fail to notice it. Honestly, this show is like Groundhog Day.

The Real Housewives of New York City (Bravo 9pm) Episode: Pirate Booty Call.

Really, Bravo?

Grimm (NBC 10pm) Nick lends his expertise when an old friend of Hank’s asks for help finding his missing daughter.

Meanwhile, Juliette inexplicably falls in love with Renard because of course she does. Magic kiss, blah, blah, blah.

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About

After giving birth to her fourth child, SuburBint carefully weighed the options and decided that recapping reality TV was probably a better choice in the long run than alcoholism. Liver function tests have yet to confirm the wisdom of this decision. Being an honest-to-goodness recapper is also a dream come true, as she has aspired to do this ever since discovering that such a thing existed way back in 2002.

Her favorite shows of all time include Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Coupling, Breaking Bad, Sons of Anarchy, Firefly, Community, Parks and Recreation, Doctor Who, and Veronica Mars. She can also quote The Big Lebowski in its entirety, and will do so with little to no provocation.

 

14 Comments

  1. 1
    SuburBint
    Posted August 27, 2012 at 11:41 am

    I want to apologize for all of the typos that I’m seeing now that I read this in its posted format. We’re all sick with Le Crud over here, and I blame my incompetence on a NyQuil hangover.

  2. 2
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted August 27, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    As the Queen of typos I obsolve you of your (typo) sins. :-D

  3. 3
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted August 27, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    Az th imperss uf tipoes idu two. becuz yur cut

  4. 4
    Fan-ann
    Posted August 27, 2012 at 1:22 pm

    Hooray for Grimm! As for Jessica Fletcher, I have a theory that she was in actuality a bicycle-riding serial killer because everyone in Cabot Cove either was murdered or jailed for murder. Working with the slightly dim and folksy sheriff, she planted evidence then pretended to “catch” the killer. That is why she was so great in Sweeney Todd, she could let her freak flag fly!

  5. 5
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted August 27, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    Sbow, is it bad that I got what you wrote the first time? :)

  6. 6
    Flipit Flipit
    Posted August 27, 2012 at 2:28 pm

    Join us in 1985 for the answer. Lol!! Love

  7. 7
    carol
    Posted August 27, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    The Secret Life of the American Teenager – this show makes me so happy that I am way beyond high school years. Every week I just want to slap these people. The writing is just awful. I never realized how religious ABCFamily is until I watched this show. They always have some religious undertone in their shows/made-for-tv-movies, but this show tries to shove it down your throat. This show tries to teach you that Christianity is the right way, if you have sex you will get pregnant or end up a prostitute/slut, that it is totally acceptable to be rude to your parents and all adults, if you have a rich dad you can get away with anything, and being creepy obsessed with someone even if they don’t like you is what love is all about. I really hope this is the last season of this show because most of them are graduating high school this ‘year’ except I know they are trying to transition to have Grace the main character. Why do I still watch this show? A family member is on this show. Sorry, end rant.

  8. 8
    Val Detinha
    Posted August 27, 2012 at 6:27 pm

    Miss or Mrs Fletcher? I have no shame in saying that I love Murder, She Wrote!!

    And SBint, I didn’t notice any typo! Here’s something for you to ponder:

    “Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteers be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.”

  9. 9
    Val Detinha
    Posted August 27, 2012 at 6:33 pm

    Forgot to say, Get well soon to all the Bint Family! :)

    Oh, and that “Cambridge research” is a lie, but still we can understand SOME misspelled words.

  10. 10
    Moli Moli
    Posted August 27, 2012 at 6:56 pm

    You know unless it’s a T&T comment made by a parent/family member…who gives a f**k. For the life of me I can’t type teh and liek correctly, I don’t understand why but it happens. It kills me when the grammar Nazis take the stage and I usually hadn’t even noticed…due to the human brain reading words instead of letters. Bint, you rock!

  11. 11
    SuburBint
    Posted August 27, 2012 at 7:48 pm

    @ Gypsy and SSC — Thank you for absolution. I will sleep more easily tonight as a result.

    @ Fan-ann — How good is Sweeney Todd with Angela Lansbury and Lou Carou?! The Johnny Depp/Helena Bonham Carter version was okay, but in my opinion Angela Lansbury nailed the character of Mrs. Lovett so perfectly that anything else has no choice but to be a paltry imitation.

    @ thisbuggs4u — I got it the first time too, so we must both be geniuses. There is really no other explanation.

    @ Flipit — Love. You.

    @ Carol — TSLotAT has nothing to do with Christian morality; what you are describing is American morality, the same stupid thinking that was responsible for prohibition and all sorts of other ridiculous laws that attempt to legislate what should be independent decisions made by responsible adults. This type of morality has no basis behind it except for “because that’s what ‘nice’ people do” and is one of the factors that led to the whole hippie movement of the ’60s and ’70s. People use the Bible to defend those standards, but attributing that type of thinking to alll Christians is like saying that all Muslims are terrorists. I agree that it is utter and complete bullshit, and have never watched even a partial episode of TSLotAT because the commercials alone make me want to throw things at the screen. Also, are you allowed to tell us who your family member plays?

    @ Detinha — You are a sweetie! Thanks for both the typo love and the wishes for a rapid recovery.

    @ Moli — It’s mostly the fact that I completely left a phrase out of my historical fact at the beginning of the article that bothers me. Also, you rock too!

    <3,

    SuburBint

  12. 12
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 6:07 am

    @Moli, I have the same problems transposing the same letters in the same words over and over and… And I correct them internally, so they wind up not getting corrected in fact. This is pretty embarrassing for me since most of my career has been spent teaching grammar and editing. Yikes!

    As far as the “Cambridge” bit goes, reading is decoding symbols, and even when the code is scramblesd, it still represents the symbols we are used to so the brain can function anyway. Same principle.

    To weigh in on Sweeney Todd– I loves Angela too, and now I can come out of the closet and admit to having loved Jessica. Yep. She nailed Mrs Lovett!!

    Oh, and pleeeze don’t hate me because I’m a professional grammar Nazi. It pays the billz. It also lets me have fun with the language because I know about it so damned much.

  13. 13
    Detinha
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 6:45 am

    There was never such research done by Cambridge, that’s why I said “it’s a lie”, but the whole concept is true!

    Carol, being disrespectful to parents and others is exactly the opposite of Christian’s teaching.

  14. 14
    SuburBint
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 7:05 am

    @ SSC — Oh great knower-abouter of language and grammar and stuff; should a sweet, demure pussy cat be using phrases such as “I know about it so damned much?” I ask because I care. :-P

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