Monday, January 30th
The Bachelor (ABC, 8 pm) Courtney suggests Ben go skinny dipping with her.
And the remaining desperados who didn’t think of it first clutch their pearls and bunch their panties.
House (Fox, 8 pm) House threatens Foreman’s relationship with a married woman (Yaya DaCosta).
Yaya. Someone named their kid Yaya.
I’m not bitter, or anything.
Alcatraz (Fox 9 pm) When a notorious robber (Eric Johnson) returns from the past, Rebecca must extricate him from a hostage-filled bank before his identity is discovered.
If I never watch this show, I won’t be upset when the ending sucks balls, whether it gets no ending after 1 season, or an ending that spits in your face after 11 seasons.
Gossip Girl (CW, 8 pm) Chuck struggles to face reality as Blair prepares to walk down the aisle with Prince Louis; the return of Georgina Sparks (Michelle Trachtenberg) threatens the royal wedding.
Michelle Trachenberg’s acting has really improved; she can almost simulate an animate object now.
I’ll always remember you this way.
The Lying Game (ABC Family, 8 pm) Emma Becker and Sutton Mercer are, unbeknownst to them, identical twins. Separated at birth and unaware of each other’s existence, the girls have led very different lives.
Helen Slater got old. I kinda wish I hadn’t researched this…
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Bravo, 9 pm) The ladies of Beverly Hills talk about the seasons biggest moments.
The only thing anyone cares about is exactly which substances of abuse are getting through Twitch’s blood/brain barrier.
Being Human (Syfy, 8 pm) Josh and Nora prepare for another “change”; Sally looks into reincarnation; Aidan dates a human.
But in a Freudian slip he calls her “my little hors d’ovre”.
The Late Show with David Letterman (CBS, 11:35 pm) Singer Jennifer Lopez; actor Rob Schneider; James McCartney performs.
Dave’s got JLo…
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (NBC, 11:35 pm) Singer Madonna; actor Chris Colfer; Joe Perry performs.
And Jay tries to counter with Madge.
The Colbert Report (Comedy Central, 11:30 pm) Lawrence H. Tribe, Professor of Constitutional Law at Harvard, is Steven’s guest.
Professor Tribe speculates how fast the founding fathers would turn to drugs if they could see how we’ve interpreted their little missive.