Tonight’s Top 10 Shows: Thursday, April 5

Thursday, April 5

Dutch explorer Jacob Roggeveen, thought to be the first European to set foot on Easter Island, arrived there on this day in 1722.

Missing (ABC 8pm) Becca’s CIA mentor (Keith Carradine) helps search for Paul’s assassin; Michael receives a severe warning that explains what would happen should he try to escape.

The first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye, followed by your right. Your ears you keep, and I’ll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, “Dear God! What is that thing?” will echo in your perfect ears.

Community (NBC 8pm) As a disagreement about pillows and blankets transforms into a war on campus, Jeff tries to negotiate a truce.

If Evil Abed is there, they might as well just hand control of the universe over to him and go home.

American Idol (Fox 8pm) Contestants face elimination; The Wanted performs; Jennifer Lopez premieres her new music video.

Wanted by whom, precisely?

Grey’s Anatomy (ABC 9pm) An escaped lion puts lives and relationships in danger.

How does an escaped lion put relationships at danger? This show, man. I’ve given up on it.

Person of Interest (CBS 9pm) When the machine names the dons of New York’s crime families, Reese and Finch suspect that Elias is targeting his competition.

“My wife is crying upstairs. I hear cars coming to the house. Consigliore of mine, I think it’s time you told your Don what everyone seems to know. ” “Jesus and Ben Linus keeps hanging around trying to save your life and shit.” “That explains everything. Ben Linus freaks me out too. Give him a polar bear and maybe he’ll go away.”

Touch (NBC 9pm) Martin comes across a man who has a history with his late wife; a couple that has an instrument-repair business works with an Iraqi band; the band’s teenage fan wants to share his comedic talent with a U.S. soldier.

I’ve only seen the commercials for this show and it simultaneously confuses the hell out of me and annoys me. Are people actually watching it?

Independent Lens (PBS 8pm) Kevin Clash, the man behind Elmo, follows his dreams to be a puppeteer.

“Yes, I’m a grown man who makes my living with my hand up the butt of a perpetually three-year-old monster puppet. I’m also basically God to the nation’s preschool population and make more money in five minutes than you make in five years. Next question?”

Scandal (ABC 10pm) Premiere: When a young lawyer starts a new job at a crisis management firm, she must deal with an accusation against the nation’s president on her first day.

Shonda Rimes is moving on from doctors to lawyers. I wonder if beggarmen and thieves are next?

Awake (NBC 10pm) Episode: That’s Not My Penguin

These are some of the best board books for kids between the ages of 6-18 months, but I really don’t see how reading one aloud is going to fill an entire hour-long episode. Especially when the audience can’t actually interact with the book.

The Pauly D Project (MTV 10:30pm) Ryan’s fight makes everyone tense; Ryan melts down, putting Pauly’s residency in jeopardy.

They might deport him back to Rhode Island.

What will you be watching tonight?