Thursday, August 16
Elvis Presley (damn he was purty in his youth!) died 35 years ago today. In other news, 35 years ago today some of the most bizarre conspiracy theories and a cottage industry of tacky velvet paintings were born.
Wipeout (ABC 8pm) Former “Wipeout” champions team with memorable, but less-successful former contestants and tackle obstacles that include Mash-Mallows, Grin and Bear It, and Big Balls.
Like I was the only one thinking this.
NFL Preseason Football (Fox 8pm) Cincinnati Bengals at Atlanta Falcons
So… ya know… that’s on tonight.
Oh Sit! (The CW 8pm) Thrill-seeking daredevils compete for cash.
Musical chairs meets parkour. This must be what the halcyon days of the cocaine-fueled ’80s were like.
Time Machine Chefs (ABC 9pm) Four accomplished chefs compete for the title of Greatest Chef in History by using only the ingredients, utensils and heat sources available during a previous time period.
I can’t wait for the prehistoric episode where the chefs have to discover fire all by themselves.
The Next (The CW 9pm) When the mentors head to Orlando to meet contestants, Gloria Estefan shows a musician how to deal with stage fright.
“Okay, baby, here’s how you deal with stage fright. All you got to do is get on your feet, get up and make it happen. And if you’re still feeling a little nervous, you just get on your feet, stand up and take some action.”
Project Runway (Lifetime 9pm) The designers must get along long enough to create cohesive looks in a team challenge.
Apparently the surprise twist for next season’s Project Runway is that all of the designers have to work as air traffic controllers as well as working on their clothing. TPTB at Lifetime felt that the show’s name was too ambiguous and wanted to appeal to a broader audience.
High School Moms (Discovery Family Health 10pm) Premiere: A 16-year-old’s behavioral issues may cause her to be expelled; daycare fees may force another student to leave school.
16 and Pregnant wasn’t enough? Seriously, America.
Extreme Chefs (The Food Network 10pm) Premiere: Seven chefs scavenge for their ingredients and tools; freeze-dried foods; fires from scratch.
I swear, I had no idea that this was happening when I wrote about Time Machine Chefs.
The Real L Word (Showtime 10pm) Episode: Lost in a Bush.
When things get that bad, it’s time to call in the help of an experienced aesthetician.
Suits (USA 10pm) Harvey must close the person with the deciding vote in the firm’s future.
After that description, I can’t tell if this show is about lawyers or hit men. Maybe lawyers who moonlight as hit men?
What will you be watching tonight?