Tonight’s Top 10 Shows: Thursday, July 19

Watercooler

By SuburBint | Wednesday, July 18, 2012 | 11:34 pm | 9 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Tonight's Top 10 Shows, Watercooler

Thursday, July 19

The Great Fire of Rome began on this date in the year 64 A.D. While the actual cause still remains a mystery, historians can agree that Nero did not “fiddle while Rome burned” as he was in Antium, approximately 30 miles away.

Duets (ABC 8pm) After a final performance from contestants and their duet partners, the winner is announced.

They’re using the term “winner” very loosely here.

Saving Hope (NBC 9pm) Alex’s patient falls into a coma during a routine surgical procedure and encounters Charlie in the spirit world; Joel treats a patient who does his own body modifications.

I don’t think that even Vincent D’Onofrio’s character in The Cell did his own body modifications, and that dude was freaking insane.

“Are you kidding me? Of course I had these back rings done by a professional, under sterile conditions. What kind of person do you think I am?”

Auction Kings (The Discovery Channel 9pm) Chastity belts, thought to be from medieval times; the Garrett brothers bring in a barber chair and pole; an 1820 land deed.

Would you really want to buy a second-hand chastity belt?

Mountain Men (The History Channel 9pm) Finale: Eustace rides into town to make a final stand for his land; Marty battles weather and wind as he attempts to feed his family; an unwelcome bear threatens Tom’s family.

My family wasn’t crazy about the recent Yogi Bear either, but I wouldn’t say that we felt exactly threatened by it.

Project Runway (Lifetime 9pm) Premiere: A live runway show showcases designers’ talents.

Given how the contestants tend to dress themselves, why is it plausible that anybody is going to want to purchase their clothing lines?

I rest my case.

LA Hair (WE TV 9pm) Episode: The Big Blow Out — China breaks down in front of Kim; Angela defies Kim.

Every time I see an episode title that is a pun or has a double meaning, I just want to kick the person who came up with it in the junk. Because I know they make way more money than I do.

Anger Management (FX 9:30pm) Charlie falls for Jen’s hot new business partner only to find she thinks therapy is a scam; Patrick asks Charlie to counsel the angry ghost of his mother.

“Hot diggety, Jen can’t help but take my career seriously fall for me once she realizes that I’m basically a cross between Frasier and the Ghost Whisperer!”

Great Lake Warriors (The History Channel 10pm) Premiere: Captain John Selvick races out of port to try to beat bad weather; Chris Costello almost sinks a smaller tug in a dangerous maneuver; Captain Ted Long is forced to make a decision; Captain Stan Dawson attempts a rescue mission.

And don’t miss next week’s very special episode in which the captains join forces in order to battle Lake Huron.

Snooki & JWoww (MTV 10pm) The former roommates razz Snooki for being pregnant and engaged; Snooki and Jenni throw a housewarming party.

“You might as well get married now so you can get the divorce over with sooner rather than later,” isn’t razzing, it’s being an asshole.

Cajun Justice (A&E 10:30) Mardi Gras celebrations keep the deputies working around the clock; a thief tries to sell a stolen sound system; estranged spouses battle over beads.

It’s nice that A&E respects their viewers enough to know that we’ve already figured out that any two grown adults fighting over Mardi Gras beads are drunk, so they can just leave that adjective out of the episode description.

What will you be watching tonight?

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About

After giving birth to her fourth child, SuburBint carefully weighed the options and decided that recapping reality TV was probably a better choice in the long run than alcoholism. Liver function tests have yet to confirm the wisdom of this decision. Being an honest-to-goodness recapper is also a dream come true, as she has aspired to do this ever since discovering that such a thing existed way back in 2002.

Her favorite shows of all time include Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Coupling, Breaking Bad, Sons of Anarchy, Firefly, Community, Parks and Recreation, Doctor Who, and Veronica Mars. She can also quote The Big Lebowski in its entirety, and will do so with little to no provocation.

 

9 Comments

  1. 1
    c8h10n4o2
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 9:16 am

    Seriously, a medieval chastity belt makes me think of some kind of venereal black plague or pox disease. Herpes never sounded so appealing.

    And a friend of mine did pierce her own nipples, but she’s pretty nuts, herself. Not “lock you up in a water-proof chamber in the desert and drown you” nuts, but, you know.

  2. 2
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 10:10 am

    “And a friend of mine did pierce her own nipples”

    Oh. My.

  3. 3
    SuburBint
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 10:16 am

    True story: When I was 16, I pierced my own belly button with a safety pin. As fate would have it, that was the summer I taught swimming lessons and worked as a lifeguard, so being in the water approximately 30 hours a week did not lend itself to a successful piercing, although I am pretty certain that the chlorine in the water is what helped me keep from developing septicemia.

    All subsequent piercings have been done by a professional, and I followed the post-care instructions to a T.

  4. 4
    c8h10n4o2
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 11:51 am

    I don’t really do well with piercings because my skin is hyper-elastic. I got my belly button done professionally, and the piercer a) had to take a break because it was taking so long and I was close to passing out, and b) said I was the first person in 20+ years of piercing that had required that. When my friend told me what she had done, I almost passed out again.

  5. 5
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    Done with piercings and am now working on a terrific (to me) collection of ear cuffs ’cause they don’t hurt.

    Just thought you should know and now that I’ve done that I worry that I have joined the TMI ramble club begun by KM.

    Oh dear.

  6. 6
    SuburBint
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 12:39 pm

    Trust me, SSC, you have not even begun to enter that territory. We’ll warn you if you start veering.

  7. 7
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    There’s a new episode of Suits tonight. I love that show.

  8. 8
    SuburBint
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    @ cattyfan — Thanks for mentioning that. I saw it on the listings, but decided not to include it. I haven’t seen any episodes, but I’ll check it out now that I know it has the cattyfan seal of approval!

  9. 9
    OutHouseCat
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 4:12 pm

    Cajun Justice is so cool. I live in the south, but those Cajuns are in their own world. Love love love the voodoo episodes. I’m getting new ideas for my supervisor every time they bust in on a new ceremony.

    And dare I hope that Project Runway has quit sucking? Yeah, it’s probably too much to ask. But I’ll probably check in anyway, because my life is that dull right now.

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