Fifteen years ago today, Mike Tyson was disqualified in the third round of his rematch with Evander Holyfield by biting off a chunk of Holyfield’s ear. He actually bit both ears but only took a piece out of one of them.
Duets (ABC 8pm) The stars and their partners perform songs from this millennium.
“Love the Way You Lie” probably isn’t one of the options.
The Choice (Fox 9pm) Actress Carmen Electra, singer Sophie Monk, reality-TV star Hope Dworaczyk and beauty pageant contestant Rima Fakih look for love.
Finally, the women get to objectify the men. It’s like The Bachelorette meets Blind Date with a soupçon of extra ridiculousless just for fun.
Anger Management (FX 9pm) Premiere: Charlie decides to return to therapy after a bad run-in with his ex-wife’s new boyfriend; the new evolved Charlie deals with a ghost from his old carousing, baseball-playing days.
Charlie Sheen’s acting skills shouldn’t be stretched too far in this show.
Chef Wanted with Anne Burrell (The Food Network 10pm) Premiere: Mucho Ultima is looking for a new executive chef; chefs compete in a dinner service.
It’s remarkable how many people she’s permitted to judge when both that hairstyle and that top were on purpose.
Wilfred (FX 10pm) Premiere: Wilfred refuses to help Ryan with his problems due to Ryan’s selfishness.
When a pot-smoking, beer-guzzling man in a dog suit tells you that you’re beyond help, things must be pretty dire.
7 Days of Sex (Lifetime 10pm) Finale: A wife wishes her husband would help out around the house; a couple live separate lives and sleep in separate bedrooms.
“How do you get anything done around the house?” “I just get a man in.” “You know, I think I’ve always misunderstood that expression.”
Snooki & JWoww (MTV 10pm) A fight over the bachelor party erupts when Jionni and Roger come for a visit.
I understand that a lot of people are bailing on this show after the pilot, but from what I’ve heard the recaps kick ass.
D.U.I. (TLC 10pm) Premiere: Chantel is arrested for DUI, stolen vehicle and possession of a controlled substance; Kimberly raises a trooper’s suspicion when she is not very alert.
I served jury duty once in a D.U.I. case. It was fairly awesome.
Louie (FX 10:30pm) Premiere: Louie has a difficult day.
And that’s seriously saying a lot.
Awkward (MTV 10:30) Premiere: Jenna tries to spread holiday cheer; Jake’s gift forces Jenna to consider her past with Matty.
MTV is interspersing their reality shows with their scripted shows again. But they’ll be damned if they actually air a music video.
What will you be watching tonight?
Have an event or factoid that you’d like to share with the ‘Gasm? Want to draw more people’s attention to your favorite show? Hit me up on Twitter @SuburBint or email me at SuburBint@gmail.com, and I will do my best to hook you up!
To get the funniest quotes from TVgasm recaps as they’re posted, follow us on Twitter. You can post your favorite lines right back at us. If you want to play games and socialize, like our Facebook page! We’re also now on Pinterest and Tumblr! Thanks for being a part of the ‘gasm!
After giving birth to her fourth child, SuburBint carefully weighed the options and decided that recapping reality TV was probably a better choice in the long run than alcoholism. Liver function tests have yet to confirm the wisdom of this decision. Being an honest-to-goodness recapper is also a dream come true, as she has aspired to do this ever since discovering that such a thing existed way back in 2002.
Her favorite shows of all time include Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Coupling, Breaking Bad, Sons of Anarchy, Firefly, Community, Parks and Recreation, Doctor Who, and Veronica Mars. She can also quote The Big Lebowski in its entirety, and will do so with little to no provocation.
2 Comments
1
snowshoecat
Posted June 28, 2012 at 5:20 am
SuperB, may I have dispensation for tonight? BFF and hubby will be visiting and I just can’t watch tonight. Can’t wait for that kick-ass recap, though. The ‘capper is amazing!
2
SuburBint
Posted June 28, 2012 at 5:28 am
Absolutely not! How can you deny yourself the opportunity to watch a show about the ultimate BFF’s with your own BFF? It’s kismet!
I’ve pretty much accepted that I am the only one who will actually be watching the show, while the rest of you slackers just tune in for the recaps. Oh well. I am reaping my own karmic rewards, I can’t count the number of shows that I’ve read recaps for instead of watching because it’s quicker and causes me to threw fewer small breakable items at the television. Looks like it’s my turn to take one for the team.
2 Comments
SuperB, may I have dispensation for tonight? BFF and hubby will be visiting and I just can’t watch tonight. Can’t wait for that kick-ass recap, though. The ‘capper is amazing!
Absolutely not! How can you deny yourself the opportunity to watch a show about the ultimate BFF’s with your own BFF? It’s kismet!
I’ve pretty much accepted that I am the only one who will actually be watching the show, while the rest of you slackers just tune in for the recaps. Oh well. I am reaping my own karmic rewards, I can’t count the number of shows that I’ve read recaps for instead of watching because it’s quicker and causes me to threw fewer small breakable items at the television. Looks like it’s my turn to take one for the team.