Thursday, June 28
Fifteen years ago today, Mike Tyson was disqualified in the third round of his rematch with Evander Holyfield by biting off a chunk of Holyfield’s ear. He actually bit both ears but only took a piece out of one of them.
Duets (ABC 8pm) The stars and their partners perform songs from this millennium.
“Love the Way You Lie” probably isn’t one of the options.
The Choice (Fox 9pm) Actress Carmen Electra, singer Sophie Monk, reality-TV star Hope Dworaczyk and beauty pageant contestant Rima Fakih look for love.
Finally, the women get to objectify the men. It’s like The Bachelorette meets Blind Date with a soupçon of extra ridiculousless just for fun.
Anger Management (FX 9pm) Premiere: Charlie decides to return to therapy after a bad run-in with his ex-wife’s new boyfriend; the new evolved Charlie deals with a ghost from his old carousing, baseball-playing days.
Charlie Sheen’s acting skills shouldn’t be stretched too far in this show.
Chef Wanted with Anne Burrell (The Food Network 10pm) Premiere: Mucho Ultima is looking for a new executive chef; chefs compete in a dinner service.
It’s remarkable how many people she’s permitted to judge when both that hairstyle and that top were on purpose.
Wilfred (FX 10pm) Premiere: Wilfred refuses to help Ryan with his problems due to Ryan’s selfishness.
When a pot-smoking, beer-guzzling man in a dog suit tells you that you’re beyond help, things must be pretty dire.
7 Days of Sex (Lifetime 10pm) Finale: A wife wishes her husband would help out around the house; a couple live separate lives and sleep in separate bedrooms.
“How do you get anything done around the house?” “I just get a man in.” “You know, I think I’ve always misunderstood that expression.”
Snooki & JWoww (MTV 10pm) A fight over the bachelor party erupts when Jionni and Roger come for a visit.
I understand that a lot of people are bailing on this show after the pilot, but from what I’ve heard the recaps kick ass.
D.U.I. (TLC 10pm) Premiere: Chantel is arrested for DUI, stolen vehicle and possession of a controlled substance; Kimberly raises a trooper’s suspicion when she is not very alert.
I served jury duty once in a D.U.I. case. It was fairly awesome.
Louie (FX 10:30pm) Premiere: Louie has a difficult day.
And that’s seriously saying a lot.
Awkward (MTV 10:30) Premiere: Jenna tries to spread holiday cheer; Jake’s gift forces Jenna to consider her past with Matty.
MTV is interspersing their reality shows with their scripted shows again. But they’ll be damned if they actually air a music video.
What will you be watching tonight?
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