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Thursday, March 29, 2012
On this day in 1973, 1973 – “Hommy,” the Puerto Rican version of the rock opera “Tommy,” opened in New York City. Meanwhile, Caucasians retaliated by working on “Lest Pide Poory”. A theater battle no one won.
Person of Interest (CBS 9PM) The machine directs Reese and Finch to a person who has almost no digital footprint and seems to be living a double life.
The Obama episode! Finally! The Tea Party must have paid good money for this.
Awake (NBC 10PM) Doctors think Britten could stop his dreams by moving out of Los Angeles.
But then he’ll have to find a dead wife and son in another state to hang out with. I suggest medical marijuana. It’s the easiest way to mush your brain, and you’re too old to start over.
Touch (FOX 9PM) Martin meets a homeless man who shares Jake’s obsession with numbers.
And then he throws a Diet Coke can at his head and tells him to get a job and stop pooping in his rose bushes. Sorry, that was me.
Great Performances (PBS 8PM) The Thomashefskys: Music and Memories of a Life in the Yiddish Theater
Or you can watch Fiddler on the Roof on Netflix and call it a night. It doesn’t get better than “If I Were a Rich Man”, PBS, I don’t care what you say with your high fallutin’ programming!
Mary Mary (WE, 10PM) Erica and Tina struggle to balance their lives as a superstar; Erica leaves Tina feeling left out.
I was hoping this was gonna be about Mary Magdeline being passive aggressive to Saint Mary for always forgetting to give something up on Lent, but noooooo. It’s another show about people I’ve never heard of calling themselves superstars. PASS!
American Idol Results (FOX, 8PM) Performances by Nicki Minaj and Scotty McCreery.
A crazy chick who can sing off key in twenty accents joins a Howdy Doody doll that sings on key with one really low voice come by to show the newest crop of homely sociopaths that talent isn’t everything.
Punk’d (MTV 10PM) Pun’d Returns for a 9th Season! Miley Cyrus punks her boyfriend.
Americans took a dimwitted off key teenager and gave her hundreds of millions of dollars. Now who’s punk’d?
Dora the Explorer (NIK, 9PM) Benny the Bull finds a magic wand and accidentally turns himself into a potato.
Then Dora eats him and cries for the rest of the episode about being fat. Speaking of…
Fat and Fatter (CNBC, 9 PM) Two young people learn that if they don’t take dramatic steps to control their weight, there will be a price to pay.
OK here’s the CNBC lineup: Marijuana USA leads into Fat and Fatter which leads into Apocolypse 2012. Basically, let’s just blame fat stoners for the end of the world. Bigots! Uncomfortable flights? Yes. Trouble navigating a mall? Yes. There are plenty of reasons to be mad at fatties, but I think we should place Apocalypse blame where it’s deserved: …
The Pauly D Project (MTV 10:30PM) DelVecchio’s life when he’s not in Seaside Heights with Snooki and the rest of the “Jersey Shore” gang.
Masturbation, Dollar Tree, masturbation, PS3, masturbation. There. Done. Masturbation.