Tonight’s Top 10 Shows: Tuesday, April 3

Tuesday, April 3

Wayne Newton, Mr. Las Vegas himself, turns 70 today. The cosmetic surgery profession has a lot to answer for.

Dancing With the Stars (ABC 8pm) Episode: Encore Performance

They were able to condense last night’s episode down to an hour by cutting out all of the dancing and re-airing only the filler material.

The Biggest Loser (NBC 8pm) The six remaining contestants receive a video message from first lady Michelle Obama inviting them to the White House.

She’s not actually going to be there when they visit, but their parking will be validated.

Dancing With the Stars (ABC 9pm) The couples face elimination; performances by Seal and Rascal Flatts.

At long last, conclusive proof that the performers are chosen by random lottery, much like in The Hunger Games.

The Voice (NBC 9pm) Four vocalists are sent home.

None of this one-contestant-per-week dicking around like some shows *cough*American Idol*cough* — we send ‘em home in droves.

The Real Housewives of Orange County (Bravo 9pm) Alexis gets her nose cast removed.

There’s a Tycho Brahe joke here somewhere….

Dance Moms (Lifetime 9pm) Finale: Abbygeddon

She already ate the Four Horsemen, and she’s coming for you next.

Tabetha Takes Over (Bravo 10pm) Finale: Tabatha helps Dianne Bennett with her failing Bed and Breakfast that lacks style and doesn’t even serve breakfast.

In all fairness to Dianne, she tried calling it a “Bed and GTFO by 9am” but that attracted even fewer customers.

16 and Pregnant (MTV 10pm) A teen girl wonders if motherhood was the right choice.

SuburBint wonders if this show has actually caused an increase in teen pregnancy rates.

Best Ink (Oxygen 10pm) Using live models as inspiration, the artists create classic pin-up girl tattoos; tensions rise when the artists must swap designs.

They didn’t do pin-up girls until episode 6 of Ink Master. How edgy!

Dance Moms Miami (Lifetime 10:30) “Dance Moms: Miami’” explores what happens at the city’s Stars Dance Studio, run by contemporary dance instructors Victor Smalley and Angel Armas. Smalley and Armas teach, train and choreograph a diverse group of dancers striving to become tomorrow’s stars in the world of competitive dance. The instructors dedicate their lives to dance and expect the same from their students and the young dancers’ passionate mothers. The program highlights the drama and conflicting goals and aspirations that exist among the teachers, students and parents.

While nobody can out-Abby Abby, these guys have mega-bitch potential written allll over their bright ‘n’ shiny little faces (and their hair-dos, especially Sir Sneersalot in the back.) Bring it!

What will you be watching tonight?