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Tonight’s Top 10 Shows: Tuesday, May 1
Watercooler
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
10:36 am
12 Comments
Tagged: Tonight's Top 10 TV Shows
Tuesday, May 1
May Day is traditionally celebrated by dancing around phallic symbols, leaving baskets of flowers and/or edible goodies on people’s doorsteps, burning witches in effigy, and protesting unfair labor conditions. It is left up to the conscience of each individual celebrant whether or not to do all of these things simultaneously.
The Biggest Loser (NBC 8pm) Finale: Former contestants reunite and reveal how much weight they have lost; one of the three finalists wins the grand prize.
I want to see them all pulling little red wagons full of fat. Because that is gross and funny.
Glee (Fox 8pm) Kurt and Rachel audition for the New York Academy of the Dramatic Arts; after a meeting with his father, Puck makes a decision about the future.
The preview commercials hint at humiliation and failure for Rachel. Also, Whoopi guest stars! I might actually watch this episode.
Dancing With the Stars (ABC 9pm) The couples face elimination; Gavin DeGraw performs.
If you ask me how I’m doing/I would say I’m doing just fine/I would lie and say my loss ain’t on my mind/But I throw darts at a picture of Jaleel White on my wall/And finally I’m forced to face the truth/I want that mirrorball; Urkel, fuck you.
The Voice (NBC 9pm) The contestants face elimination; performances by Dia Frampton with Kid Cudi, Vicci Martinez with Cee Lo, and Cyndi Lauper with Beverly McClellan.
Beverly McClellan is the only Voice contestant I actually remember.
New Girl (Fox 9pm) The gang worries that Jess and Nick may take a step backward when they run into their exes, Paul (Justin Long) and Caroline (Mary Elizabeth Ellis); Schmidt faces a delicate medical issue.
Is it wrong that I love to watch Justin Long cry on this show?
The Real Housewives of Orange County (Bravo 9pm) Gretchen performs.
So I would recommend skipping dinner if you’re planning on watching this.
Mysteries at the Museum (The Travel Channel 9pm) Episode: Boston Molasses Disaster; D.B. Cooper: Buddy Holly Curse
From a historical plaque at the site of the Boston Molasses Disaster: On January 15, 1919, a molasses tank at 529 Commercial Street exploded under pressure, killing 21 people. A 40-foot wave of molasses buckled the elevated railroad tracks, crushed buildings and inundated the neighborhood. Structural defects in the tank combined with unseasonably warm temperatures contributed to the disaster. It is sometimes referred to as the “Boston Molassacre.”
Dance Moms: Miami (Lifetime 10pm) A duet brings out issues between the girls and their mothers; Kimmy must portray a sinister character in her solo performance.
But which one will she be? I’m voting for the guy with the monocle.
16 and Pregnant (MTV 10pm) Myranda: A Texan learns that raising a baby strains a relationship.
I just don’t know where to begin with this one.
Best Ink (Oxygen 10pm) The artists try to satisfy their clients’ animal love with pet-themed tattoos; one eccentric lady’s demands seem almost impossible to achieve.
Look, baby hedgehogs!
What will you be watching tonight?
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12 Comments
“burning witches in effigy.” Oops. I think that perhappes the towne fathers in Olde Salem just might have misread the instruction manual.
Bring on the Morris dancers!
Actually, all of the Salem “witches” were hanged. Except for Giles Corey, who was crushed to death. I am such a nerd.
Today is also International Worker’s Day or just Labor Day in various countries! My friends in Brazil had the whole weekend plus yesterday and today off! I told them that’s considered vacation here!
Yes you are. And somehow I internally edited the “burned” to read hanged. Burnings were popular during the Inquisition. Ducking was another sport popular in Jolly Olde England that is reputed to have taken place in New England.
Fun times.
Those hedgehogs look like hairy eggs with a face. I want one.
Me too!
Ducking? As in weighing a woman to see if she weighs as much as a duck? Because if she does, she must be made of wood, and is therefore… a witch!
“Boston Molassacre”….my mouth is agape picturing this happening. I am so recording this tonight.
Me three! Although it might be difficult having a pet you can handle only with tweezers.
The DWTS lyrics are brilliant, and I, too, want a baby hedgehog.
I hate the Biggest Loser. Well, hate might be a little strong. I have not watched it in a long time, so I don’t know if it has change. The episode that always annoys me the most, and other weight loss shows have it too, is they try and run a lap while carrying the weight they have lost so far. Then they put the weight on the family members. This makes no sense to me. If you are 300 pounds, your legs are used to walking around with that much weight. So, after loosing 100 pounds, you legs are still strong, but in a different way. Then putting those 100 pounds on your skinny mini cousin just to prove they don’t have the muscle mass, how is that helpful?
I have to admit I like New Girl. I watch online, so it is only 22 minutes, which is perfect.
We did the nose…