Tuesday, May 15
The first private mental hospital in the United States, The Asylum for Persons Deprived of the Use of Their Reason, opened in Philadelphia, PA, on this date in 1817. Having read the majority of the 600+ comments under the latest “Toddlers & Tiaras” minicap (a minicap, people!) I can think of at least one person who qualifies under the clearly stated guidelines for admittance at this presumably excellent institution.
NCIS (CBS 8pm) Finale: Shaken by terrorism, the NCIS faces devastating surprises; the case impacts Jimmy Palmer’s destination wedding.
Fortunately for Jethro, Abby, the rest of the NCIS gang, and everybody’s grandma — Renewal status: Renewed!
Glee (Fox 8pm) New Directions prepares a high-concept routine; Tina suffers a head injury; the club performs at nationals for celebrity judge Lindsay Lohan.
In tonight’s Very Special 2-Hour Episode, the kids go to regionals. Again. Also, is it just me or does Lindsay Lohan seem plastered in the commercials for this episode? Apparently she is “playing herself,” so at least it’s true to character.
90210 (The CW 8pm) Finale: Episode — Forever Hold Your Peace
Sadly, this is not a self-directed admonition. Renewal status: Renewed, because there just aren’t enough trashy teen soap operas cluttering the airwaves.
NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS 9pm) Finale: Callen and the team pursue a criminal mastermind motivated by revenge.
Another Very Special 2-Hour Episode. Apparently CBS Loves Cool James, because — Renewal Status: Renewed.
LL Cool J will be wearing Kangols all the way to the bank.
The Real Housewives of Orange County (Bravo 9pm) Slade’s engagement ring shopping plans; Alexis throws a birthday party for her twins; Tamra gets a tattoo removed; Vicki and Briana fight.
I’m sure Slade’s engagement shopping plans consist of one simple step: Getting Gretchen to pay for it herself.
Private Practice (ABC 10pm) Finale: Episode — Gone, Baby, Gone
Yet another non-self-referential episode title toying with my heart. Renewal status: Renewed, but rumor is that the next season will be the last.
Fashion Star (NBC 10pm) Finale: The three remaining contestants must create a showcase for each of the retailers; the winner is chosen.
Somehow, I don’t think that I would trust Jessica Simpson to judge my designs, were I in the fashion industry. Renewal status: Renewed, because people are idiots.
Pregnant in Heels (Bravo 10pm) Premiere: Christina makes an intense request for her home birth; Helena is upset that she’s not having sex; Rosie makes an announcement.
All I have to say is, if you have a couple of hours to kill and a strong stomach, google “placenta recipes.” You are not allowed to sue me or TVGasm for any mental or emotional anguish suffered as a result.
16 and Pregnant (MTV 10pm) A feud between her mother and boyfriend hinders a teen’s attempt to be a parent.
Best Ink (Oxygen 10pm) Finale: The final three contestants tattoo returning clients with different symbols of love; Margaret Cho.
As I write this, the Eldest Bintlet is reading the Roald Dahl short story “Skin,” ending tonight’s column on a note of eerie serendipity. Renewal status: ? I couldn’t find information either way.
What will you be watching tonight?
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