Tuesday, September 25
“If you are a dreamer come in.” -Shel Silverstein (September 25, 1930 – May 8, 1999)
Dancing with the Stars: All Stars (8PM, ABC) The celebrity contestants discuss their decision to return.
“Really? Did “nothing” cancel?
NCIS (8PM, CBS) Following the bombing of NCIS headquarters, the team engages in a cross-agency manhunt for Harper Dearing.
Feeling overwhelmed the team calls the one man who has experience in HQ bombings…
Harper is in that tree. Wait here.
New Girl (8PM/9PM, FOX) Jess is fired from her teaching job.
“Sean, what did you learn at school today?”
“Not much. She just danced around to weird music and was trying too hard to be different.”
(Blank stare) ”Honey, get me the number to the school.”
Frontline (9PM, PBS) Teachers and counselors work tirelessly to help four troubled students graduate at Houston’s Sharpstown High School.
Considering it’s Houston, they’re probably working tirelessly just to get them physically into the school.
Fatties should’ve went to Neverland when they had the chance.
The New Normal (9:30PM, NBC) Shania surprises Bryan and David when she reveals she plans to vote for Obama in her school’s mock election.
Even with Shania’s vote, Obama still comes in third in the mock election behind Spongebob and Justin Bieber due to the school’s lack of foresight when leaving a write-in option.
She’ll come around after she starts her first lemonade stand and has to pay her brother health insurance.
The Mindy Project (9:30PM, FOX) After getting drunk and disorderly at her ex-boyfriend’s wedding, Dr. Mindy Lahiri realizes she needs to get her personal and professional life back on track.
Wait, so it’s not socially acceptable to get drunk and feel up the bride at the reception. Next you’re going to tell me black eyes aren’t a side effect of hangovers.
Vegas (10PM, CBS) When a rancher Ralph Lamb becomes a sheriff, he begins investigating the murder of the governor’s niece and instantly clashes with mobster Vincent Savino.
“Who made you sheriff?”
“Wait, what? Really?”
“Is that badge handwritten? Look, I’m going to go back to doing illegal stuff over here. Do you need some water to fill up your pistol?”
This is a job for Randy Quaid
Parenthood (10PM, NBC) Sarah confronts her boss and is surprised by the outcome.
“I’m fired?! Why?! Is it because I called you an asshole?”
Sons of Anarchy (10PM, FX) Jax, Chibbs, Opie, and Tig struggle to stay alive while figuring out a way to get out of county jail.
I’m sure Opie can just ask his dad for the keys as long as Dennis Quaid hasn’t taken over yet.
Chopped (10PM, Food) Ladies from America’s school cafeterias compete with surprising ingredients.
“There’s very little meat in these gym mats.”
Tell me what you’re watching in the comments below or find me on Twitter @JalleyToCali and hit me up there.