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Survivor: South Pacific (CBS, 8 pm): A castaway makes a big move during the immunity challenge; an alliance member becomes a liability.
So vague, and yet so very descriptive.
Baseball Wives (VH1, 9 pm): When Erica makes an offhand remark, Chantel is unable to let the insult go.
And they milk it for the whole season.
New Girl (Fox, 9 pm): Jess tries to take her relationship with Paul to the next level; Schmidt attends his boss’s baby shower.
Zooey Deschanel is so precious, you’ll puke until you get dry heaves.
The Biggest Loser (NBC, 9 pm): When the contestants compete in a marathon, the winner automatically becomes a finalist in the competition; the final three contestants are revealed.
Fat people. Marathon. That’s low-hanging snark. I can’t do it.
I Hate My Teenage Daughter (Fox, 9:30 pm): After Mackenzie and Sophie lock a student in the bathroom, Nikki and Annie ban them from attending a school dance.
Your teenage daughter told me she doesn’t think much of you either. And then I sold her a nickel bag.
Law and Order: SVU (NBC, 10 pm): When a child disappears on his way home from school, Benson and Amaro interview the distraught parents, who don’t trust the police
Two cops–an emotionally repressed ‘rhoid rager and a ballbuster with a Lesbian haircut–take every case extremely personally.
Revenge (ABC, 10 pm): Recent scandals leave the Graysons on edge; Emily targets the psychiatrist responsible for institutionalizing her as a child; Declan and Jack face a tough decision.
Yeah, that show that was advertised on all the bus shelters. It’s about… revenge. I guess.
Alaska Wildlife Troopers (Animal Planet, 10 pm): Fairbanks Wildlife Troopers respond to calls across a region that covers most of Western Alaska.
BEAR FUCKER, DO YOU REQUIRE ASSISTANCE?
Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, Revisited (VH1, 10 pm): Featuring Rodney King, Amber Smith, Andy Dick and Nikki McKibbin.
Four semi-famous people who went through Dr. Drew’s program and didn’t die.
Note by Note: The Making of a Steinway (PBS, 10 pm)
Filmmaker Ben Niles shows the painstaking process of constructing a concert grand piano.
I want my pledge money back.