Tonight’s Top 10 Shows, Wednesday, Feb. 1st

Watercooler

Wednesday, February 1

E! News (E!, 7 pm) Coverage of television, film and music, as well as the celebrity party scene.

Tonight, the surprising reason why we love Jennifer Aniston, but we don’t want her to be happy.

Hogs Gone Wild (Discovery, 7 pm) Dr. West and Renee go on the hunt for giant, wild hogs that are terrorizing the US.

If they encountered NeNe, I hope they brought a cannon.

Superbowl’s Greatest Commercials (CBS, 8 pm) Viewers votes determine the greatest advertisements that have aired during the Super Bowls; Boomer Esiason and Jillian Michaels host.

You know that fuckin’ Aflac duck is gonna be in this. A lot.

American Idol (Fox, 8 pm) Hopefuls in Portland, Ore., perform for the judges.

And a hopeful Paula will be hanging around the parking lot.

One Tree Hill (CW, 8 pm) Julian struggles with guilt; Brooke and Haley confront the difficult owner of a new, rival cafe; Quinn goes to the extreme in her efforts to help Clay.

Clay better have West Nile disease, otherwise all these problems are really dumb.

Cro-Magnons go nutty for soft serve.

Nova (PBS, 9 pm) Archaeologists study the life and death of North America’s most exotic and extreme creatures.

Some of Teresa Guidice’s relatives will be studied.

Irresistible.

My 600-lb Life: Melissa’s Story (TLC, 9pm) Melissa begins her seven-year weight loss journey.

Melissa’s journey is more likely to end in weight-loss than Ben Flajnik’s journey is to end in love.

Mobbed (Fox, 9 pm) Special appearances include musician Art Alexakis, dance group FORMALity, drummer DJ Ravi and rapper Ace Hood.

Here’s a name for your dance group: Nv’rHEARDofYA.

Ghost Hunters (SyFy, 9 pm) A pair of plumbers moonlights as ghostbusters for clients who report paranormal phenomena.

No video, huh? Well, while I’ve got you guys here, that darn toilet keeps running unless I jiggle the handle…

By day, I'm an editor. That means I get a cruel thrill out of identifying the parts of other people's creative projects that suck, and alerting those people to said suckage. Sometimes, I get paid for it. I've been known to lose my appetite after seeing how a Thai menu has folded, spindled, and mutilated the Queen's English. Imagine what TV does to me! I guess that's why I wanted to be a recapper at TVgasm. My friends have heard all of my rants, and they are sick of them. TVgasm is a whole new captive audience! So, let's make a compact, you and I: you agree to read my recaps and take what amusement you can from them, and I agree to put into the print the outrageous observations about the show that you thought, but were too PC to say. Let's share our joyous rage after wasting another perfectly good hour in front of the television.

Oh, and I still believe that Magnum, P.I. was the greatest show on television. Although I have not seen Thomas Magnum fishtail that Ferrari in the opening credits since I was 14. If Magnum, P.I. actually sucked, keep your damn squeal hole shut and don't ruin it for me, OK?

3 Comments

  1. 1
    crazy rooster
    Posted February 1, 2012 at 3:48 am

    Mobbed: the dumbing down of America is nearly complete, cue evil laugh

  2. 2
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted February 1, 2012 at 6:29 am

    Caught the first (and only?) episode of “Sorority” last night. The producers trotted out every cliche about the mean-girl, airhead sorority girl in pink as five vapid young women go to Leeds, England to introduce blue-collar girls into a pretend Greek club.

    While the recap almost, but not quite, writes itself, I would love to have you do the recapping, DearCrabby. I mean as long as T&T won’t be on again for a while this would give you a chance to keep the claws sharp. Pleeeeeeze?

  3. 3
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted February 1, 2012 at 10:13 am

    Maybe that guy wouldn’t be single if he knew what shampoo was for.

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