Tonight’s Top 10 Shows: Wednesday, September 5

Wednesday, September 5

On this date in 1698, Tsar Peter I of Russia imposed a beard task on all Russians who were not peasants or clergy, in an attempt to Westernize Russian society.

Big Brother (CBS 8pm) The contestants compete in the veto competition.

Next thing you know, they’ll be competing for head of household. These show descriptions are so incredibly boring.

So You Think You Can Dance (Fox 8pm) Six dancers perform; two contestants are eliminated; performance by AXIS Dance Company.

AXIS Dance Company is amazing.

The Democratic National Convention (PBS 8pm, CNN 8pm, etc.) The 2012 Democratic National Convention from Charlotte, N.C.

Ain’t no party like a Democratic National Convention party, cos a Democratic National Convention party don’t stop!

NFL Football (NBC 8:30 pm) The defending Super Bowl Champion Giants begin their title defense when they host Tony Romo and the Dallas Cowboys. From MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, N.J.

Is it just me, or does “Tony Romo and the Dallas Cowboys” sound like a big band from the ’40s?

True Life (MTV 9pm) Episode: I’m Giving My Boyfriend an Ultimatum

So that’s what the kids are calling it these days.

Ghost Hunters (SyFy 9pm) The team investigates the Old City Jail, which housed America’s first female serial killer.

Lavinia Fisher (1792 – 1820) and her husband would kill guests at their Charleston, SC, hotel, take any money or other valuables, and then dispose of the bodies. She probably poisoned the guests and then if the poison didn’t do the job, her husband would finish them off while they were incapacitated. This is why I don’t stay at privately owned B&B’s.

Royal Pains (USA 9pm) Hank works to diagnose two seemingly unrelated illnesses; Evan supports Paige during a difficult time; Divya’s new boyfriend turns to Jeremiah for help.

I have nothing to say about this show, so here is a picture of a cute little kitten.

The Real World: St. Thomas (MTV 10pm) Brandon takes a drug test; Trey invites Chelsea to St. Thomas; Marie and LaToya get lost.

I’m agog with anticipation.

Paranormal Witness (SyFy 10pm) A widower and his new wife are attacked in their bed; they suspect it is the husband’s dead wife.

At least Fruma Sarah had the courtesy to warn Tevye before she started attacking people in their sleep.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo (TLC 10pm) Episode: Shh! It’s a Wig!

I am desperately clinging to the hope that this has something to do with Alana’s pageants and not, say, anything to do with lice.

What will you be watching tonight?

Have an event or factoid that you’d like to share with the ‘Gasm? Want to draw more people’s attention to your favorite show? Hit me up on Twitter @SuburBint or email me at SuburBint@gmail.com, and I will do my best to hook you up!