Tonight’s Top 10 Shows: Weekend Edition

Saturday, July 7

On this date in 1456, Joan of Arc was acquitted in a posthumous retrial. Way to go, Catholic Church.

NYC 22 (CBS 8pm, 9pm) Yoda remembers his rookie days when a paroled drug lord from the ’80s starts looking for revenge on the people who got him put away; Tonya and Kenny raid a bordello; Ahmad and White House aid a man being pursued by a loan shark. Ahmad must make a quick decision when Apple appears to be in danger during a bar robbery.

This show actually first aired in April and was cancelled in May, but it looks like CBS needed to fill some air time.

The Firm (NBC 10pm) While still scrambling to come up with a plan for a good defense in Patrick Walker’s case, Mitch and his team must start jury selection; Joey Morolto Jr. puts a plan into action to regain control of his mob family.

Speaking of slot-fillers that nobody cares about….

Sunday, July 8

Soapy Smith, “the king of the frontier con men” and erstwhile crime boss, was shot to death on this date in 1898, freeing Skagway, Alaska, from his reign of terror.

Keeping Up With the Kardashians (E! 9pm) Episode: Sometimes You Need to Adjust

I don’t know why but this episode title makes me think about plastic surgery.

True Blood (HBO 9pm) Bill and Eric hope Sookie can help them find Russell; Lafayette calls out to Jesus’ spirit for help; Patrick and Terry are held hostage; Jason has a disturbing dream; Jessica gives Tara advice; Sam gives Luna some bad news.

Giving a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Help me, Jesus!”

Hoarding: Buried Alive (TLC 9pm) Premiere: Cary’s paralyzing obsession with Elvis memorabilia has left his New York City apartment virtually uninhabitable.

Some people hoard shit, and some people hoard… well, shit.

Big Ang (VH1 9pm) Premiere: Ang hopes to draw in a younger crowd after refurbishing the bar.

Here’s hoping that Big Ang is as awesome on her own as she is on Mob Wives.

The Walking Dead (AMC 10pm) Rick searches for his family after emerging from a coma; Morgan and Duane help teach Rick the new rules for survival.

Did we know this was back? Anyone?

The Real Housewives of New Jersey (Bravo 10pm) Teresa and Jacqueline share an awkward exchange at Antonia’s birthday party; Kathy hosts a meal for her sister’s new love interest; Caroline’s son has a new girlfriend.

The episode title is “The Sniff Test.” I shudder to think what that means.

Weeds (Showtime 10pm) Andy and Jill are interrupted by Jill’s husband; Doug and Whit consider new business ideas.

Meanwhile, nobody cares what is happening to Nancy.

Episodes (Showtime 10:30pm) Matt tries to win Sean over by buying him a sports car; Matt and Jamie discuss their encounter.

Joey Tribbiani, you’ve come so far.