As I’m sure you all know, this weekend marks the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the R.M.S. Titanic. Not to make light of the lives lost in large part because of hubris and incompetence, but as far as long-term societal impact, the worst thing to arise from this horrific disaster involves Leo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, and a certain Celine Dion song.
Saturday, April 14
Titanic (ABC 8pm) (Parts 1 – 3) Tensions rise during a disastrous tea party; the ship’s encounter with an iceberg incites chaos and panic on deck; a passenger, Louisa, must choose between her husband and her daughter; passengers race for spots on the remaining lifeboats.
Because the world really needed another overly-dramatic period drama based around the sinking of the Titanic. Thank you, ABC.
Escape Routes (NBC 8pm) In Atlanta, the teams design a backdrop for their escape; the contestants face challenges at a fire and rescue training facility.
Escape routes are an important part of fire training. Well done, NBC.
NASCAR (Fox 8pm) Sprint Cup: Samsung Mobile 500
I’ve never understood the appeal of watching cars go around and around and around and around, but if anybody would like to explain it to me, I’m more than willing to try and understand.
Welcome to Sweetie Pie’s (The Oprah Winfrey Network 9pm) Miss Robbie’s prized picture is stolen from the restaurant; Robbie’s grandson lies about dating an older employee; Tim and Jenae search for the perfect nanny.
I love sassy little old ladies who aren’t Betty White.
Last Chance Driving School (A&E 10pm) A stay-at-home mother’s driving lesson leads to disaster; Pete is pushed to the brink by a terrible first-timer; a student flirts with Sven.
Sunday, April 15
The Amazing Race (CBS 8pm) Episode: Let Them Drink Their Haterate
That episode title is so 2007.
Mob Wives (VH1 8pm) Drita tries to be a good example for her children.
Insert uproarious laughter here.
Titanic (ABC 9pm) (Part 4) The crew takes evasive action after spotting an iceberg but is unable to prevent a collision; as panic takes hold, Louisa makes a shocking promise to Hugh; Paolo turns to a mysterious passenger for help; life-changing events unfold.
So in Saturday’s episode they fight for spots on the lifeboats before spotting the iceberg? That’s a new twist.
The Celebrity Apprentice (NBC 9pm) Each team must make its own puppets and perform for an audience.
Is anybody else vaguely terrified by this prospect?
Shahs of Sunset (Bravo 10pm) Finale: Episode — Old Friends New Problems
Now we get to wait and see if it gets picked up for a second season. I guess that all depends on whether Bravo has an open slot for a show about rich people who refuse to take responsibility for all of the manufactured drama in their lives.
Magic 8 ball says:
What will you be watching this weekend?
Have an event or factoid that you’d like to share with the ‘Gasm? Want to draw more people’s attention to your favorite show? Hit me up on Twitter @SuburBint or email me at SuburBint@gmail.com, and I will do my best to hook you up!