***NotWithoutMyTV is one of the funniest commenters/recappers on our site. Unfortunately, he has a “real job”, which interferes with his writing. We have been struggling to find a way to showcase his talents without forcing him to write ten pages of recaps, and then we figured,….WAIT. NWMTV will mock anything and everything put in front of him, so our new feature aims to give him that opportunity. Please welcome our newest section, Top 10 Shows of the Night, where NWMTV will make fun of the top ten offerings on our TVs for the night. Enjoy!
Monday, Dec. 5
ABC World News with Diane Sawyer (ABC, 6:30 pm): The latest world and national news.
Waste a perfectly good half-hour as Diane Sawyer pours infotainment through your now sieve-like brain.
A Charlie Brown Christmas (ABC, 8 pm): The award-winning “Peanuts” special returns with Charlie Brown and Linus searching for the meaning of Christmas.
If nothing else, tune in to learn all those crazy dances the gang does during the impromptu Christmas play rehearsal rave.
The Sing Off (NBC, 8 pm): Groups from all three seasons perform holiday and inspirational songs; Flo Rida performs.
Three season’s worth of caterwaulers, AND Flo Rida?? Cripes, what did Christmas carols ever do you, Nick Lachey?
American Country Awards (Fox, 8 pm): The public votes for country music favorites in a number of categories; Trace Adkins and Kristin Chenoweth host.
They fucked up American Idol, but maybe America can be trusted to vote for the best fake cowboy.
Polar Express (ABC Family, 8:30 pm): The conductor of a train to the North Pole guides a boy who questions the existence of Santa Claus.
CGI Tom Hanks will scare your kids so bad, they’ll never close their eyes again.
Two and a Half Men (CBS, 9 pm): Bridget (Judy Greer) reappears in Walden’s life as he is trying to impress a new love interest.
You replaced Charlie Sheen but then fucked up being married to Demi Moore? Smoove move, Ashton.
Mike and Molly (CBS, 9:30 pm): When Molly is overwhelmed with Thanksgiving preparations and wedding planning, she turns to Mike for help.
And then eats him.
Castle (ABC, 10 pm): Beckett and Castle wake up handcuffed together in bed in a locked room with no memory of how they got there.
Sigh. Every time I wake up in handcuffs, I’m in the back of a squad car.
Hawaii Five-O (CBS, 10 pm): McGarrett and the team search for a missing bus full of school children and those responsible for the crime.
It’s the kid with the Chewbacca lunchbox. He did it, and he’s not sorry.
Rock Center with Brian Williams (NBC, 10 pm): New York Transportation Commissioner Janette Sadik-Khan attempts to reduce the city’s carbon footprint and manage traffic.
Janette Sadik-Khan is better at managing her crops in Farmville, I guess.