Tonight’s Top 10 Shows: Monday, Dec 5

Tonight's Top 10 Shows

By NotWithoutMyTV | Monday, December 5, 2011 | 12:42 am | 7 Comments
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***NotWithoutMyTV is one of the funniest commenters/recappers on our site. Unfortunately, he has a “real job”, which interferes with his writing. We have been struggling to find a way to showcase his talents without forcing him to write ten pages of recaps, and then we figured,….WAIT. NWMTV will mock anything and everything put in front of him, so our new feature aims to give him that opportunity. Please welcome our newest section, Top 10 Shows of the Night, where NWMTV will make fun of the top ten offerings on our TVs for the night. Enjoy!

Monday, Dec. 5

Screen Shot 2011-12-05 At 12.35.31 Am

ABC World News with Diane Sawyer (ABC, 6:30 pm): The latest world and national news.

Waste a perfectly good half-hour as Diane Sawyer pours infotainment through your now sieve-like brain.

A Charlie Brown Christmas (ABC, 8 pm): The award-winning “Peanuts” special returns with Charlie Brown and Linus searching for the meaning of Christmas.

If nothing else, tune in to learn all those crazy dances the gang does during the impromptu Christmas play rehearsal rave.

The Sing Off (NBC, 8 pm): Groups from all three seasons perform holiday and inspirational songs; Flo Rida performs.

Three season’s worth of caterwaulers, AND Flo Rida?? Cripes, what did Christmas carols ever do you, Nick Lachey?

American Country Awards (Fox, 8 pm): The public votes for country music favorites in a number of categories; Trace Adkins and Kristin Chenoweth host.

They fucked up American Idol, but maybe America can be trusted to vote for the best fake cowboy.

Screen Shot 2011-12-05 At 12.37.31 Am
Ahhhhhh!

Polar Express (ABC Family, 8:30 pm): The conductor of a train to the North Pole guides a boy who questions the existence of Santa Claus.

CGI Tom Hanks will scare your kids so bad, they’ll never close their eyes again.

Two and a Half Men (CBS, 9 pm): Bridget (Judy Greer) reappears in Walden’s life as he is trying to impress a new love interest.

You replaced Charlie Sheen but then fucked up being married to Demi Moore? Smoove move, Ashton.

Screen Shot 2011-12-05 At 12.38.28 Am

Mike and Molly (CBS, 9:30 pm): When Molly is overwhelmed with Thanksgiving preparations and wedding planning, she turns to Mike for help.

And then eats him.

Castle (ABC, 10 pm): Beckett and Castle wake up handcuffed together in bed in a locked room with no memory of how they got there.

Sigh. Every time I wake up in handcuffs, I’m in the back of a squad car.

Hawaii Five-O (CBS, 10 pm): McGarrett and the team search for a missing bus full of school children and those responsible for the crime.

It’s the kid with the Chewbacca lunchbox. He did it, and he’s not sorry.

Rock Center with Brian Williams (NBC, 10 pm): New York Transportation Commissioner Janette Sadik-Khan attempts to reduce the city’s carbon footprint and manage traffic.

Janette Sadik-Khan is better at managing her crops in Farmville, I guess.

Screen Shot 2011-12-05 At 12.39.42 Am

By day, I'm an editor. That means I get a cruel thrill out of identifying the parts of other people's creative projects that suck, and alerting those people to said suckage. Sometimes, I get paid for it. I've been known to lose my appetite after seeing how a Thai menu has folded, spindled, and mutilated the Queen's English. Imagine what TV does to me! I guess that's why I wanted to be a recapper at TVgasm. My friends have heard all of my rants, and they are sick of them. TVgasm is a whole new captive audience! So, let's make a compact, you and I: you agree to read my recaps and take what amusement you can from them, and I agree to put into the print the outrageous observations about the show that you thought, but were too PC to say. Let's share our joyous rage after wasting another perfectly good hour in front of the television.

Oh, and I still believe that Magnum, P.I. was the greatest show on television. Although I have not seen Thomas Magnum fishtail that Ferrari in the opening credits since I was 14. If Magnum, P.I. actually sucked, keep your damn squeal hole shut and don't ruin it for me, OK?

7 Comments

  1. 1
    giffordsaz
    Posted December 5, 2011 at 6:25 am

    time for a movie… and didnt Chooch used to do this update?

  2. 2
    chooch850
    Posted December 5, 2011 at 5:25 pm

    Wow…. I didn’t know I’d been replaced, just no longer needed. I blame Wallstreet and now I may just have to “Occupy TVgasm” in protest!

    ….and NWMTV how could forget TLC’s “Cake Boss: Next Great Baker”. The wannabes will have to make life-size cakes of Boss-man Buddy’s loudmouthed sisters. Guaranteed boob cakes covered in fondant!

  3. 3
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted December 5, 2011 at 5:35 pm

    Occupy tvgasm?

  4. 4
    Robin Robinez
    Posted December 5, 2011 at 5:36 pm

    Chooch, the preview’s for Cake Boss are hilarious; especially because one of the ugliest cakes looked exactly like one of the sister’s!

  5. 5
    Flipit
    Posted December 5, 2011 at 6:27 pm

    I made sure to make a separate section for these listings. You still have TV Patrol you sexy grouch.

  6. 6
    Robin Robinez
    Posted December 5, 2011 at 7:00 pm

    I Love the avitar’s in this thread……

    Giff’s jammin

    Chooch is lookin all sexy

    Classy is drinking

    I am puking

    And flipit is eating a candy bar.

    Love it!

  7. 7
    Detinha
    Posted December 6, 2011 at 8:39 am

    2 men and Ashton is horrible! He does look like the devil! #cancel that thing!

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