Top 10 Shows, Thursday, February 27
Zero Hour (8 pm, ABC) Hank’ Galliston’s associates, Rachel and Arron, and FBI agent Becca Riley join him as he races against time to find his wife and save humanity.
It’s handy they can kill two birds with one stone. If they had to find Hank’s wife, design a red carpet look for Jessica Chastain with common household items, and save humanity, they’d really have hustle.
American Idol (8 pm FOX) Semifinalist Round, Part 4. Ten more female singers perform.
At least there will be boobs. That might help offset… pretty much everything else about this show.
Two and a Half Men (8:30 pm CBS) Episode: You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For?
The episode is called You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For? and Miley Cyrus is the guest star. You don’t need me for this. This is a good time to practice DIY snark.
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (8:50 pm, Bravo) Kim acts oddly, which worries the ladies.
As opposed to previously, when the ladies just convinced themselves that Kim’s raging drug abuse and mental health symptoms were just Kim being “one of a kind”.
Only dates Earthwomen who are in Near Mint condition.
Comic Book Men (9 pm, AMC) Walt negotiates for an original Asteroids arcade cabinet; Ming is excited for GI Joes.
Ming: Gee, thanks Cockblock! Now I know that if I ever want to get laid, I should never tell girls about my job!
Cockblock: That’s right, Ming. Now you know. And knowing is half the battle!
Just the first in the relentless series of self image-shattering catastrophes that is childhood.
The Office (9 pm, NBC) Pam accidentally brings lice into the office, but lets Meredith take the blame.
If my hypothetical kid ever brought home lice, I’d have to abandon him/her in Ohio, and then start over with a new kid.
Project Runway (9 pm, Lifetime) The designers must create fashionable, age-appropriate looks for senior citizens.
I wish the designers would dress the old Brazilian ladies in my neighborhood. Because I don’t need to see that much septuagenarian cleavage and muffin top.
1600 Penn (9:30 pm NBC) Between entertaining foreign dignitaries, holding secret Cabinet meetings and dealing with emergencies, the president’s family must also face everyday issues like a grown son moving in and becoming one of the administration’s biggest liabilities.
Everything you need to know about this show: the Secret Service’s codename for the Prez’s son is “Meatball”.
The Freakshow (9:30 pm AMC) “The Lobster Boy” joins Todd on a family trip to obtain a two-headed baby; a performer panics.
The Cunning Plan: Lobster Boy will flop around on the front porch, crying “SALT WATER! FOR NEPTUNE’S SAKE, DOUSE ME IN SALT WATER!” While the parents are distracted, Todd will dash through the back door and “obtain” the two-headed baby.
Kathy (11:30 pm, Bravo) Comic Margaret Cho.
Kathy Griffin and Margaret Cho in the same room? My hypothetical pearls, they are clutched!